


The Borealis 2: To Hel and Back

by JennaSW



Series: The Borealis [2]
Category: Aladdin (1992), Frozen (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Greek Mythology, Alternate Universe - Norse Religion & Lore, BDSM, F/F, Italian Mafia, Multi, Polyamory, References to Norse Religion & Lore, Superheroes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2019-09-24 09:11:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 45,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17097743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennaSW/pseuds/JennaSW
Summary: Over a year after the events of the first Borealis, Elsa, Anna, and Jasmine have been continuing their lives of super heroes/criminals. Things have been going great, they're madly in love, they rule the town, and they have more demi-gods to fight than you can wave a cape at. All of this changes when a stray projectile kills Jasmine. Never ones to take death lying down, Elsa and Anna set out to bring her back, with the help of Skaldi, while Jasmine does her best to find her way back to them.





	1. The Borealis Vol 2 Issue 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t own the rights to any of Disney’s characters. Welcome back to the comic book world of gods, mobsters, and super heroes, and I hope you all enjoy this continuation of Elsa, Anna, and Jasmine’s story.

So, I guess I’m a super hero now. I was really trying to avoid that after last year. Thank you so much, Jasmine. How the hell did I let you drag me into this? We’re fighting giant monsters in the middle of the city, like we’re in a fucking comic book. Speaking of, the big bastard charges at me, his cape flowing behind him with the effort of the attack. Of course, I’ve never been one to let a little drama stop me from a good murdering. I shoot him in the face.

He survives, because I’m not playing by normal rules anymore, now am I? God damn it, I miss the old days when I’d just break some shit with a baseball bat and then be handed an envelope full of hundreds. Now I have to deal with gods and super villains and it’s just all a bit exhausting. “You think you can stop me?” he asks, brandishing his trident in as threatening a manner as one can manage to brandish a giant fork. What kind of fire monster even uses a trident anyway? Maybe it really is a fork. Is he the god of barbecues?

“Yeah, kinda do,” I say, conjuring a volley of icicles which all begin to hurl themselves at him. I didn’t say I hated my super powers, just that being a super hero was absurd. Being a god is great. “I don’t know what you were thinking fucking with us.”

The ice rains upon him, impaling him, ripping apart his cape, and sending his blood raining down upon the ground. ‘Do you bleed?’ indeed. Super heroes are so dumb.

“Jasmine, what the hell is wrong with you?’

She blinks, dropping her ice spear. “What do you mean?”

“You’re the one that convinced us to do this. We just murdered some idiot in a cape, who had the power to control lava, this shit is ridiculous. Why did I let you talk me into being a super hero?”

She pouts, her lower lip protruding as she tugs at her cape. “It’s fun.”

“I guess it is,” I admit, kicking his downed form in the face for good measure, “but what’s the point? My day job at least accomplishes something: we own this town, we don’t let criminals like this idiot happen anyway.”

“I’m not an idiot,” he grumbles, summoning a pool of lava beneath us.

I already stabbed, shot, and kicked him in the face, what does he want? I freeze over the lava as it appears and kick him in the nuts. “I’m not in this game for heroics. I’m no hero. I’m a mobster, a murderer, and you know that full well. I don’t know how I let you talk me into this.”

“But it’s fun. And I love you. And you have to take care of me, I’m your pet.”

I roll my eyes. She has a point, this is like taking her for a walk. What good owner doesn’t walk their dog. “You’re impossible.” Rings of ice surround his limbs and a hungry snowman shows up to devour his head. I may not be that great at the heroics, but I’m pretty damn good at murder.

“I’ll never let you defeat me.” The snowman melts, as usual, why do I even bother, and lava sprays out from his body as it slowly encases him, covering him in a fiery shell that’s just begging to be split open.

“Fire’s my thing,” Anna insists, stabbing him with a blade made of pure fire. I can say from personal experience that those things hurt, but as the god of the Northern Wind, I may be a bit biased against the heat.

He screams, sending out torrents of his scorching liquid in every direction. I make a shield of ice that steams as it deflects his attack, but reacts in no other way. Anna doesn’t even bother with that, heat is nothing to her. Jasmine, on the other hand, has to run away from it. She’s not as unkillable as us, and being based heavily around ice, lava is likely an even bigger problem for her than it is for me. Every shield she conjures is promptly disintegrated under the torrential spray. “We already won!” she insists. “Stop it.”

“I’m taking you with me!” he shouts, lava spurting out of every pore, showering us with the disgusting fire. Seriously, this shit was inside of him. When I’m summoning a blizzard it’s nothing like this, I don’t let it spray out of me. That’d just be crass. “If I’m going to die, then I won’t let you live!”

His head falls onto the cement as the magical sword gifted to me by Hera removes it cleanly from his body. I don’t tend to bother with it, it’s just unnecessary on top of my other powers, but it was made to kill a god, whatever he is shouldn’t even be an issue. “Fuck off.”

Jasmine screams, and Anna and I both turn to her. Apparently his last attack was worse than I’d expected. A blast of cold air emanates from me, trying to blow away whatever remains of his lava. “I’ve got you, Jasmine.”

I thought I managed. I really hate being proven wrong. She collapses, wincing in pain as the lava eats through her chest. Despite this, she seems to still be standing there. There’s two Jasmines. As much as I’ve always thought I’d enjoyed this, I had never planned on one being dead.

“Jasmine?” I ask.

“Oh no,” Anna breathes.

“What?” she asks, looking behind her, to see her still form lying there. I’ve died before. It wasn’t fun. Thanks, Anna. I’m still blaming you for that, even if it was just Notos’s fault, it was your body, so it’s your fault.

“It’ll be okay,” Anna insists. “We’ll get this sorted out.”

The winged lady seems to disagree. Some bitch shows up, in full armor, with wings stretching out for an absurd distance to either side. How long of wings does she need? “Fear not, brave warrior,” she announces. “I’ve come to take you to where you belong. You shall join us in Asgard, you shall be an Einherjar, and take on Ragnarok with the greatest warriors this world has ever known.”

“The hell she will,” Anna says, snarling in fury at our new foe. I swear, super villains are like cockroaches. “You’re not taking my pet!” She fires off a few rounds, but the interlopers armor deflects them.

“I understand your sorrow,” she intones, taking Jasmine’s hand.

“Wait!” the still living Jasmine shouts. “What are you doing? I’m not going anywhere.”

“Come with me, bearer of Skaldi’s blade. You have a greater purpose.”

“I said you’re not taking her!” Anna shouted, a flurry of fire raining down upon the winged woman.

She lifts up Jasmine, pulling her away from this plane, and begins soaring upward. “Farewell mortals, I shall see you in time.”

Maybe we’re a bit possessive, but Anna and I don’t like our property being stolen from us. We both conjure the greatest that our powers can manage. Ice forms around the woman, soon joined by firey appendages, piercing her, burning her, freezing her, dragging her back to Earth by the tethers we gradually add. I hurl a javelin in her direction and it buries itself several inches into her abdomen before she turns to me, fury clear in her eyes and her sword in her hands.

Anna takes that moment to toss a fireball at the woman’s face. She blocks it with the sword, the flames licking at her outfit as we both fire bullets and magic at her, raining attack after attack until she can’t defend anymore.

I’m not sure when, but she must’ve dropped Jasmine as both of her hands are free. Another sword joins the first and she charges at me. I leap back, drawing my magical blade again and forming another weapon in my hand. I’m able to block her next attack, but my riposte is almost entirely dodged, only scraping her side.

Fortunately, Anna won’t be ignored so easily. A massive axe appears in her hands and had manages to bury itself in the woman’s back. Her eyes widen but promptly narrow again and seemed to go blank. She doesn’t fall to the ground, instead merely fading from existence. That’s a new trick.

“What the fuck?!” Anna screams, swiping at the air, trying to find our opponent.

“I think she’s dead,” I say.

“Who gives a fuck? She took our property and I’m going to rip her entrails out.”

There’s no one to murder or butcher. The woman who had tried to drag away Jasmine seems to be completely gone. What the hell was any of that? “I don’t think she’s here.”

“Then I’ll kill her again,” she snarls.

We approach Jasmine’s body. She doesn’t have a pulse. There’s no sign of breathing. I don’t know what happened, but either the lava or that woman had gotten to her. Her body is as dead as could be. I’m a bit of an expert there. “Fuck,” I mouth.

“When has death ever stopped us?” Anna asks. “I’ll bring her back just like I did you.”

“Anna –”

“She’s ours!” she growls. “I don’t care where she is, I don’t care who we have to kill to get her back. We’re not just going to abandon her!”

How could I argue with that? As weird as our relationship was – is, I love Jasmine. She’s part of the family. We have to rescue her. “How do you propose we do that?”

“There has to be a way. There was one with you.”  
Bring one girl back from the dead and suddenly death is meaningless. What are we, super heroes? Oh, right. Well, if there’s one person who would know – I rip the bracer off of Jasmine’s wrist and strap it to my own. “Hey, Skaldi, you there?”

There’s no response.

“Jasmine’s dead. We don’t like that. Want to help us bring her back?”

 _I knew you’d be the death of her._ The voice doesn’t seem to come from anywhere, it’s just there in my head. How does she deal with that? I’m too busy with my own thoughts to have time for anyone else’s.

“She’s the one that insisted we fight this dick. It’s not our fault.”

_She was your responsibility._

“Do you want to bring her back or not?”  
“Is she even responding?” Anna asks.

I nod. _How do you propose to do that?_  
“Do you know the way to –” I glance to Anna, this was never my area of expertise. It was really just the killing I was good at.

“Hel.”

_Of course I do. It doesn’t mean you can enter._

“Well we’re going to. Jasmine is important to us and we’re not just going to leave her to die.”

_She’s already dead._

“Don’t care.”

The voice pauses, it’s presence pressing in on my consciousness as it considers the best course of action. I swear I’m going to break this bracelet. It’s the worst. I get that it gives Jasmine super powers, but Skaldi is a bitch and I’d rather just let her die. _Fine_ , it finally says. I’ll help you.

“Good.”

_But we’re doing this my way._

“Is your way murdering everyone and dragging Jasmine back to life? Because if not then I think we’re going to have a bit of a disagreement there.”

_That suits me just fine. Anyone who would dare lay a hand on my wielder must pay. Jasmine shall live, whoever else must suffer._

“Good.” Finally, a reason to put up with her. “My sentiments exactly.”

_Then I shall lend you my power._

“Don’t really need it.”

_You think that Boreas is impressive? You can’t even fathom the might of Skaldi. With my assistance, none will stand in our path. We shall carve a bloody swath through the forces of Hel and we shall bring back Jasmine. Swear this to me, and you shall know a power the likes of which thou hast never known._

All right, maybe she’s not that bad. “Fine, I swear.”

“Elsa?” Anna takes a hesitant step toward me.

The bracer bites into me, burning at my wrist, marking itself upon me. _The deal is made. She shall be brought back and then we shall go our separate ways. Enjoy a taste of true power, thou wretched lesser god. What you’ve dealt with until now has been but a taste. I will give you everything you need to tear a swath through Hel and find our girl. Embrace it. Accept the pain._

I’m not ashamed to admit that I collapse. I’m a little more bothered by the crying, but it feels like I’m being skinned alive, ripped apart, and beaten to a bloody pulp, all at the same time. It could’ve lasted for anywhere between a second and a few years, but when it’s finally done, my wrist burns where the bracer touches it and I can feel power swelling up within me. The cold almost burns. It’s like nothing I have ever felt. If what was in me before was a flurry, then even a blizzard couldn’t match this. The powers of Skaldi and Boreas joined inside of me to bring back one of the women I loved. Nothing can stand in my way. “Fuck yes,” I mutter, feeling icicles in my veins, a blizzard in my brain, my body dropping to subzero. This is what I’d wanted. I wave my hands before me, causing everything in front of me for half a mile to turn to ice. My smirk engulfs me, this is perfect. “Nice.”

Anna manages to sound unimpressed. “It tell you where we’re going?”

“Not yet. So, Skaldi, GPS me.”

_If Jasmine didn’t love you, then I would crush your puny brain._

“That’s nice, where’re we going?”

_Very well. I shall lead the way, but thou wouldst best learn respect, or I shall make thee do so. If you think you’ve known pain then –_

“Shut up. Jasmine’s in danger and we have work to do.”

_Damn you, Elsa. I warned her about you._

“Hel. Where? How? Can Greek gods enter?”

_With me attached to you, it shall be no problem. Perhaps your Notos shall even be able to accompany you._

“How?” I repeat. Why are gods always so difficult? I’m so glad that Boreas doesn’t talk to me. Notos was bad enough, what with the whole murdering me and everything. Fuck, I wouldn’t mind going back to Hades and killing him again, I still can’t believe he possessed Anna like that. I wonder if we’ll see him on the way.

_I’ll guide you. Promise me that no harm shall befall her. She must live. She deserves to live._

Here, we can finally agree. “I love Jasmine, you know that. I won’t let anyone hurt her, and I sure as hell won’t let her die.”

_Very well. Then follow me._

No figure appears to guide me, it’s nothing so simple as that. Instead, an overpowering urge to head in a direction began to tug at me, pulling me toward a section of the city I’d otherwise have no business in. It leads me toward an alley, toward a cut off section there, between two unused buildings. I can feel power, fear, cold coming from it. It feels unearthly, but that describes everything I’ve dealt with recently and doesn’t begin to cover what comes from this. It’s like a hole in reality. The very air around it feels wrong to breathe. It’s like we were intruding in an area in which we not only didn’t belong, but couldn’t even fathom. By her expression, I see that Anna feels it too. We’re not welcome here. This is a different pantheon, a different world. We’re not returning to Hades, we’re intruding upon a world that has no place for us and that will do everything in its power to fight us. Sounds like fun.

“This is it?” she asks.

“Skaldi seems to think so. If we go through here then we can find Jasmine.”

_It won’t be that simple. I can but take you to Hel’s doors, you’ll have to make your way to our fallen companion, to my wielder, to Jasmine._

“That’s fine by me,” I say. “What do we need to do?”

_You have but to enter. There is no ward here. There’s no need. Those who are not welcome shall fall and join its masses. Even your gods mean nothing here. I’ve no loyalty to Hel, but thou must know that none may overcome her._

“I think we have an invitation,” I explain. “Something about horror and awfulness and Jasmine being stuck down there until we rescue her. Ready to go to the afterlife again? I haven’t died in over a year, could be fun to see it again.”

“Sounds like a date,” Anna replies, her hands moving rapidly about her, preparing some sort of flame-ridden countermeasure. I don’t tend to bother with that sort of thing beyond my armor. I guess that’s why she’s now the only one of us who hasn’t died.

“Should be fun. Maybe we’ll finally have something more interesting to fight than crazy people in tights.”

“Oh, good. I was so tired of them.” She snaps the clasp on her cape, letting the smooth piece of red velvet fall to the ground. “Are you ready?”

“To enter the underworld? Why wouldn’t I be?” My hand subconsciously grasps the hilt of my sword. I’m not scared. I’m not even being cautious. A god-killing sword is just a good idea to have in this circumstance.

Anna squeezes my hand, offering me a smirk as I glance at her. “Let’s do this. We’re not going to just let our puppy suffer when we can do something, are we? Time to go.”

There’s no more delaying it. Anna’s right. Who knows what would happen to Jasmine if we do nothing? We have to go. We’ll rescue her, just like Anna did for me. No matter what we face on the way, nothing will stop us. We’ll find our pet, our friend, our partner. None will stand in our way. Without a word, in the same instant, we both take a step forward, and the world we knew vanishes behind us. In its stead, a land of wind, ice, and spirit throws itself upon us.

As we make our way through the gate on the other side, it closes behind us. We’re trapped here, at least until we find a way out. Before that, we have to find Jasmine, so who gives a fuck what else we need to do?

We can feel the pain of those who have entered, and there’s even a line of those who have yet to do so. We ignore them and charge past, making our way across a bridge that towers over an empty chasm. Whoever is in charge here clearly knows how to manage their aesthetic.

I draw my sword. No one is going to stop us, not even Hel herself. We continue on our path, ready for any obstacle that may rear its head. We will find Jasmine and we will bring her back home where she belongs. No one will stop us, no matter what.

With Anna at my side, it’s a very different trip from my last time in the underworld. I know we can do this. I know we can rescue her. “Let’s go,” she says, gesturing down a long foreboding path.

So be it. We’re in Hell. We’ll find her. That’s just what we do. And we’ll kill anyone who gets in our way.


	2. The Ice Queen Issue 1

“Skaldi?” I ask, looking around. “Where are we?” I try to blink away the unfamiliar light as I take in the strange world around me. The first thing I see is hay, and what must’ve once been a stable. I’m in a clearing by some woods, and there are some very old looking houses with thatched roofs. What the heck? “Skaldi?” I ask again. She isn’t responding.

I glance at my wrist and find that her bracelet is gone. Oh no. my hand darts to my throat and I find my collar still there, the tags jingling at my contact. I breathe out a sigh of relief. That’s something at least. They would punish me so badly if I lost that.

Well, I guess I just have to find everyone. What had that lady said? Something about Asgard? That’s the home of the Aesir, right? I know Skaldi had mentioned them. It’s not where she’s from though, so I’m not sure how much help she’d be. I still miss her though. I haven’t been without her in over two years. Though it is kind of nice not being cold for once.

I knock on the door of the first house. My hand goes right through the thin wood. That’s never happened before. Has my training with Uncle Pete made me that strong? I stare at my hand before looking back to the door. The wood looks like it’s rotted and falling apart. I guess I don’t have peak human strength from training. Dang. I wanted to be Batman.

Shoving open the door, I head inside and find it deserted. There’s a table with a few chairs, an old oven that I can’t even imagine how to operate, and some incredibly uncomfortable looking beds, straw poking out of the mattresses. I guess I won’t find any help here. I need to keep moving, I have to find a way out, I have to get back to them.

The door splits open as I close it behind me. Fortunately, no one is living there, so I only feel a little bad for breaking it. The other houses all seem to be just as empty. I head out, walking down what I guess must be a road, but I’m not sure I feel comfortable calling it that. Even a trail seems to be stretching it. It’s just occasional marks in the ground, mostly faded and obscured. How long has it been since anyone was here?

As I walk, I find myself missing the usual voice in my head all the more. What did I even do on walks when I didn’t have her to talk to? Oh! Right! I grab my phone from the sewn in pocket inside of the harem pants of my costume. There’s no signal. Apparently the home of the gods doesn’t have great reception. Who would even want to live here, then? I glance back at the houses I’d left behind, wondering if that answers my question. No sense making myself all sad. I don’t care if I’m the only person in the whole world, I’m finding a way out of here.

I don’t have my earbuds, but it’s not like there’s anyone around to bother with the sound. I go through my music, trying to find something cheery and good for a road trip.

Mary Lambert’s soothing voice joins my footsteps, filling up the eerie silence of these lonely hills. There’s a few mountains off to the side, but the path seems to be leading me through an endless stretch of hills. I wish I’d asked for more details on Asgard when I was alive. I throw my own voice in, singing along as I walk, before breaking into a skip. I’m scared, and I’m lonely, which is a really new feeling, but that doesn’t mean I need to let it get to me. I’m on an adventure. I just have to think of it like that and it’ll be fun.

Hours pass by without me seeing anything much at all. A few burnt down husks that must have once been houses, but the only reason I say that is because I can’t imagine what else they’d have been. There’s no people, the path is still barely a path. Maybe I should’ve gone toward the mountains. Where is the Bifrost? You’d think a big shiny rainbow bridge would stand out!

I run out of Mary Lambert albums, and Weird Al’s Ode to a Superhero is blaring through the country-side, with me singing along. How could I not? I am a super hero after all. I’m glad that I have a new Weird Al song that describes me. White and Nerdy was awkward to explain when I’m not white. As I giggle at my own joke, I can’t help but wish that Skaldi was here. She wouldn’t have understood the joke at all, but she would’ve at least given me company.

“There’s no time for jokes, little one,” I say, speaking for her.

“Elsa says there’s always time for jokes.”

“As I keep telling you, she is a bad influence.” I wag my finger at myself as I walk.

“Well I love her, and you at least like her feet. And I love Anna too, and you don’t even seem to think she’s that bad of an influence.”

“Other than the murder. At least she makes you study.”

Oh no! I’m gonna miss school! I have a midterm on Monday! My phone says that it’s still Saturday, though I don’t know how accurate it is. I’m just impressed it’s still alive. The battery says zero. Is it because I’m in Asgard? Can things not die here? Baldur died. That mythology class was so much easier with all the gods I live with. I just wish that could help with my physics test.

I try to access Blackboard on my phone, so I can look over the study guide, but of course I still don’t have internet. Some heaven this is.

Just as ‘The Saga Begins,’ I see a large castle jutting out of a hill a few miles away. It’s partially obscured by other hills in the way, and some foliage seems to be covering it, but it’s actually intact. Maybe I can find some information there. If there aren’t any gods inside, then at least there might be a map.

Without my powers all of this walking is a little annoying, but I’m still in good enough shape, and it feels sort of like walking takes less out of me. I wonder if there’s lower gravity in Asgard. It would certainly explain a few of the feats that you read about.

The outside of the castle is falling apart. Finding anyone inside is seeming increasingly unlikely. The stones have fallen out to create a second even bigger doorway next to the actual one. I guess there’s no real point in knocking, I walk in through the opening, with a good three feet clear on either side of me.

Inside, it’s not any different. There’s rubble everywhere, I think I can see almost all of the pieces of that wall, but a few torches are still lit. That’s weird. There’s cobwebs, and the place smells of decay and rot, but I can just barely hear the faintest echoes of movement.

Exploring further inside, the noises start to form themselves into something coherent. Is that crunching? I try one door and the sound fades, so I turn back and head down the other hallway. Before me sits a dining hall bigger than our entire penthouse apartment. Tables stretch out across the room. It looks kind of like Hogwarts, if Hogwarts was really depressing. So, maybe seventh book Hogwarts.

The crunching stops and a tower of a man, with a long pointed black beard stares at me. “Good evening!” he calls, his loud voice echoing in the empty room.

I’m so glad that I talked Skaldi into teaching me Old Norse. Being able to read the Prose Edda in its original dialect was amazing! Though Loki may actually be trans. I had a long talk with Elsa about that and had to have a bit of a lesson. It went much better than when she first told me and I tried to use it as evidence that I was still straight. My cheek still hurts just thinking about it.

“Can you talk?” he asks.

Right. I’ve been talking to myself too much today. I forgot to reply. “Hi!” I manage. That was English. “Sorry, hello,” I correct, in Old Norse. Skaldi says my accent is terrible, but I can still speak it passably.

“Come, take a seat. There’s much to eat.” He gestures toward a plate of meat. I think it might be pheasant. An assortment of vegetables surround it.

“Okay.” I am kind of hungry. I hope this doesn’t work like the Fae. I sit across from him and pile some bird and vegetables onto my plate. I don’t recognize most of it. I guess I’m just too used to what most foods look like nowadays. “Who are you?” I ask. “My name’s Jasmine.”

“Jasmine? A lovely name.”

“And yours is?” I look around the empty room. “Are you one of the Aesir?”

“Of course.” His eyes alight on mine and his lips curl into a strange smile. “I’m Odin.”

“Then why do you have two eyes?”

“It grew back.”

He sacrificed it. That doesn’t even make sense. If it came back, then shouldn’t he not have the knowledge? “Where are all of the other gods?”

“Oh, they’re getting ready to fight in Ragnarok.”

I blink. “It’s happening? Now? But then why are we here? That Valkyrie grabbed me and –“ I try to remember. It just isn’t coming to me. What happened? “I guess she brought me here. Should I be getting a weapon? I’m pretty good with a spear.”

“A Valkyrie brought you?” His smile falters, his eyes widening, but he catches himself. “Right, to Asgard. Of course she did. Welcome to Valhalla.”

I nod. This sure doesn’t look like Valhalla, but I only have how Skaldi described it to go off of. I guess this could just be what it’s like now. I take a bite of the pheasant. Its skin is crisp and the meat is more flavorful than I’d expected. It’s not like chicken, but it’s more like it than turkey or duck. “This is delicious. Is the chef here?”

“I made it myself.”

“You. Odin. Cooked?”

He chuckles. “Is that so hard to believe? I do have all knowledge. That does include cooking.”

“Well how do I get out of here? Where’s the Bifrost?”

“Leave? Why would you want to leave?”

Yeah. This isn’t Odin. This isn’t Valhalla. “I have people waiting for me. They’re probably looking for me now, heck that may be where all of the gods are – fighting them. The aesir don’t stand a chance. So, I’m gonna leave and join them, and stop the fighting, and I just need some directions.”

On the wall there are a few weapons. They’re just ornaments, but I can’t imagine they’re not battle ready here. If there’s one thing Norse gods always are, it’s battle ready. The nearest ones are a pair of axes. A broadsword is next to them. I don’t see a spear anywhere.

I take a few more bites of the bird. This is going to suck. I just can’t risk staying here for the whole meal, he’s acting too weird. “So, where did you say it was?”

“I won’t let you leave,” he mutters, his voice a fast monotone. “You just got here. You’re one of my Einherjar now, and you need to stay with me.”

“You’re not Odin. This isn’t Valhalla.” Is this even Asgard?

“Whatever do you mean?” His smile appears, faker than ever. “Of course I am. This is. I must train you for the coming battle, so I can’t have you leaving, not until Ragnarok.”

“You said it was starting.”

“Soon.”

One more large bite. I only chew enough that I can swallow, before I bolt from my seat and rip the axes from their mount on the wall. Before I can turn back, he’s on me, trying to twist my arms back. I was trained for this. “Shin scrape!” I shout, kicking him hard in the shin.

He falls back, staring at me as I turn on him. “What?”

You’re not actually supposed to say it, but scraping someone’s shin hurts a lot, so Pete just has us say and pantomime it. Muscle memory is dumb. I hold the axes at the ready. My stance is a little awkward, and I have no idea what I’m doing with them, but it’s better than nothing. “Where am I?!”

Snarling, he lunges again.

I thwack him in the face with the pommel of my axe, hitting him right in the nose. Not so fun, is it? “Where am I?” I repeat, my voice as hard as I can make it. I’m the Ice Queen. Criminals run in terror at my name. I can be intimidating.

“Hel!” he coughs, holding his nose.

Hell? No. Hel. Oh, no. “How do I get out?”

He snorts out blood.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake.” I drop the axes and take a step forward, holding his head in place with one hand as I give his nose a sharp tug with the other. “There, is that better?”

Sniffling, he nods his head. “Yes.”

“Now, answer the question!”

He drops to his knees, grabbing the axes. I barely manage to jump in time before the blades pass just below my feet.

Dashing to the side, I snatch the broadsword from the wall without slowing down. I pivot on my last step, blocking one of his weapons with my own, and leaping back to avoid the other. As he starts to bring the second axe back, I bring my sword up in a quick arc, slicing through the handle and limiting him to only a single item that could disembowel me.

“Bitch,” he growls.

“No you!” I call back, feigning a lunge.

He isn’t as dumb as I expected. He knocks my sword aside with the handle of the broken axe and swings the other at my head. I bring my blade back at the last second to block it. The head of his weapon is mere inches from my face as I stare down death. I’ve apparently done that once already today. That was more than enough.

I kick him in the nuts. It took a lot of convincing, but Elsa and Anna were very insistent that it’s a viable strategy, and Pete seemed to agree.

He hops back, clutching at his privates. “You –“

I lower my shoulder and tackle him, ripping the one whole axe out of his hand with my left hand, tossing it aside before following up with a quick punch to the face.

He clonks me in the temple with the wooden shaft and the whole room begins to spin and sing. I blink, trying to force sense back into the world and feel another blow on my chin. Stumbling back, I bump into a table. I hold the sword out in front of me, straight out, trying to keep him back while I figure out where in this merry-go-round he is.

Two of him come from my right side, swinging the stick two handed. I leap up onto the table, and he manages to correct the course of his swing to hit me in the calf. Ow. I lift it up, stumbling on my other leg, and use the momentum to swing my injured limb and hit him in the cheek.

Before I can pull it back, he snatches my leg out of the air and gives it a sharp tug, bringing me crashing down onto the table.

He climbs up, pulling the weapon back over his head. If that thing comes down, I’m not sure I can survive it. I shove my weapon forward, finding it burying itself in his stomach. He falters, his eyes losing focus as I drag it up.

The stick falls out of his hand, hitting me in the eye. It’s a lot less painful than it would’ve been otherwise, but I can already feel it swelling. I shove him off of me, the sword staying inside of him as he falls to the floor.

He doesn’t move.

Oh, God.

I killed him.

I’m a murderer.

I stare up at the ceiling as it finally stops spinning. What have I done?


	3. The Borealis and Notos Issue 1

_She should be here! It’s only been mere seconds._

It’s going to take a while to get used to that screaming inside of my head. I don’t know how Jasmine does it. “So where could she be?”

Anna looks at me.

_I don’t know. The newly departed should be at this gate. We’ve walked past most of the line and I’d be able to see her. This doesn’t make any sense.”_

“Well, she didn’t exactly end up here the normal way.”

“Is she wondering where Jasmine is?” Anna asks. “I was wondering the same thing. Everything I’ve read would say that she should be here. She couldn’t be in Valhalla could she?”

“Skaldi says ‘no.’”

“Then maybe when that Valkyrie dropped her she missed the gate?”

Skaldi is disturbingly silent for a long moment. It’s a blessing. _That could be it. If that’s the case, then she may be a good way further down. We’re still only in Nfilheim. Hel is before and below us for miles and miles._

“Anna, you should go back. It sounds like this could take a while.”

Glaring at me, Anna spits back, “The hell I will!”

“You have to run things. You can’t just take an unannounced vacation for weeks.”

“Then we won’t take weeks.” She sets a hand on her hip, staring up at me in all of her five foot nothing ferocity. “We already own all of New York. There’s no one to worry about save the occasional super hero or super villain.”

“What about Jasmine’s body?”

Gritting her teeth, she spins, turning back the way we came. “Fuck. We can’t do that to her.”

“Exactly.”

“So, come on.”

“What?” I blink. “No, I’m gonna go look for Jasmine.”

“No, we’re going back to Earth and calling Uncle Pete to pick her up and run the family for a few days. Then, we’re heading back in and rescuing our pet. She’s mine too, Elsa. You know how much she means to me. I’m not letting you do this alone. Besides,” she chuckles, “You have a way worse track record in the underworld than I do.”

“I was dead!”

“Exactly.”

_We’re not leaving! She’s here, and who knows what could be happening to her. We have to help her._

“Skaldi, Jasmine has a future, a real one, not just crime and super heroics, and if everyone finds out who she is –“

“And declares her dead –“

“Then all of those options are gone. We’ll be right back. It’ll take five, maybe ten minutes.”

_Fine._

We wait the whole fifteen, until Pete’s there and Jasmine’s body rests safely in his car. “She seems pretty dead.”

“No more than I was.”

Anna rolls her eyes. “I swear, some day I’ll find a girlfriend who can keep herself alive.”

With a playful twinkle in his eyes, Uncle Pete says, “You’d just kill them and bring them back yourself.”

“It happened one time!”

“I’ll take care of things while you’re gone. Just make sure you bring back our girl, okay? I was just starting to get used to that peppy little thing.”

“We will,” I say.

He rests a hand on each of our shoulder’s. “And take care of yourselves, and each other. I don’t want to lose any more members of my family.”

“I promise, Uncle Pete. Give my best to Lisa and the kids.”

“And mine as well,” Anna adds.

“They may need it. You know how much they hate it when you make me do actual work.”

“I’m sure they’ll live.”

We just have to make sure the same is true for Jasmine. “We’d better get going. It’s been too long.” _Finally_. _I thought I was going to lose my mind waiting._ “It’s great seeing you. Try not to bankrupt Anna’s criminal empire.”

“I’ll take good care of it. But first,” he goes around to the trunk, and pulls out a couple bags. “Lisa had the good sense to send you some supplies.”

With the bags slung over our shoulders, we leave him there and walk back through the nearby portal. This is gonna be fun.

 

~o~

 

“That was a distraction we did not have time for,” Anna mutters, as we run back across the bridge. It feels like we were just here yesterday.

“Hey, you’re the one with her own criminal empire, it’s not my fault.”

“Yes. It literally is your fault. You put me in charge, and I’ve had to prove myself constantly, because until I brought the whole city to my heel, nobody respected the tiny twenty-three year old girl who insisted she was in charge.”

“You did make me kill a lot of people to make that point.”

“I suppose I did. I guess I just got used to it.” She stares down at her feet. Not that long ago that fact would’ve been unimaginable to her. “Still your fault,” she adds as she picks up speed.

I hated doing that to her. I remember how she used to feel about killing, that hesitation. She still doesn’t put out a hit without some serious consideration, but it doesn’t take the same toll on her that it used to. I’m a little sad about that. _You two are such a bad influence on her. If Jasmine ever kills anyone, I will make you regret it. I won’t have you corrupting her._

Halfway across the miles-long, gold-thatched bridge, we have to stop. Not that we’re tired or anything, there’s just a giant monster in the way. Anna’s cape flutters dramatically in the breeze as she looks the creature up and down. She should’ve asked Pete to bring some more sensible clothes. “I don’t suppose she’ll just let us pass?”

Hearing someone laughing inside of your head is not an experience I would like to repeat. _No. I very much think she won’t._ “We’re gonna have to fight her.”

She nods. “I only have seventeen rounds in my pistol and a backup magazine, so I’d rather save it for later when I’m tired. It’s just a shame, it would be so useful right now.”

“You brought a gun? How?”

“You don’t have pockets in your costume?”

I stare down at my ice armor. I just never thought of it, I had pockets in my suits, I never really needed them when I was doing the big magical stuff. “No.”

With a derisive snort, she turns back to the creature. “You go right, I go left?”

“How about you go high, I go low? You do love the way your cape flutters when you jump.”

Smiling, I can see her picturing that. Why are my girlfriends so over-the-top? “Yeah, that sounds good.”

“State your name and business,” the monstrous form calls out in a bored, slightly feminine monotone.

“Anna Arlotti, or if you prefer, Notos, god of the southern winds.”

The massive form bends over, its long black cloak sliding back to reveal a woman in a dark steel armor. “I think you’re in the wrong place.”

“My puppy’s missing, and I have reason to believe she’s here. She doesn’t belong here. She died in battle.”

“Then why is she here?”

“We killed her Valkyrie.”

I had not expected her to be that honest. “Anna?” I ask. _I trust her with this far more than I trust you. At least she’s not an idiot._ “Bitch.”

“What was that?” Anna growls, glaring at me.

“Not you. The bitch in my head.”

“I thought was me too. You are _mine_ after all.” Licking her lips, she gives me a lascivious grin before turning back to our host. “So, you gonna let me go get her?”

“So, you’re telling me, that you intend to break into my Mistress’s domain and rip away one of her subjects?”

“I also said that she belonged in Valhalla, but if you’re gonna take it that way, I wasn’t planning on taking her there.”

Stories above us, her head shakes sadly. “I appreciate your plight, but you must appreciate mine as well. I cannot allow you to enter Mistress Hel’s domain.”

I’m starting to relate to this girl. “You’re just a servant, someone to fight on her behalf. I understand that. I’m the same way.” I draw my sword from the scabbard at my hip and conjure a shield of ice in my left hand.

Flaming daggers glow in Anna’s hands. “Like I’m going to let you have all of the fun. I let you take care of my busy work, it doesn’t mean you can do all of my fighting.”

“I like doing your fighting.”

The ground shakes beneath us as the monster of a woman lifts up a sword almost as long as the bridge itself. “If you insist on passing through, I will stop you. It gives me no pleasure, but I have no other choice.”

“Fine by me.” I charge. With the size of her and her weapon, there’s no way she should be able to move fast enough to stop me. Plus this sword is a god killer. To my great surprise, before I can even make it halfway to her position on the bridge, the blade comes flying at my head. I barely manage to stop it with my shield, and I can feel Skaldi supporting it. Cracks still ripple through the ice. If I only had my powers, I wouldn’t have a head anymore. _If you die, I can’t save Jasmine, so try a little bit harder to stay alive._

Anna leaps onto the sword like a fucking ninja. As its embedded in my shield, I do my best to hold it in place, frosting it over, letting ice build up to hold it to me. When she’s halfway down it, it jerks up, ripping my shield in half and sending it flying into the air.

Without so much as a yelp, Anna starts to slide down the weapon. I can’t see her, but the lights from her daggers are visible from this side, so I at least know she didn’t just fall off into the river below.

I conjure an ice javelin and hurl it at the woman. The first one embeds itself in her shoulder and I soon have three more sticking out of her. The blade slams back down and I only manage to avoid it by a few inches. Fuck, that was close. My reflection gapes back at me in the dark blade, my ice armor glinting on the surface. It looks darker and thicker than usual. I wonder if that’s just the reflection or if it’s Skaldi.

A scream shakes the bridge and I can see flames bursting out from a new wound, and building up, as Anna conjures fire inside of the new injury. Fucking showoff. I hurl an ice javelin at the monster’s head.

A massive hand clutches Anna and throws her back down to the bridge, hard enough to send shards of stone ten feet into the air. Rather than checking on her, and making us both sitting ducks, I rush at the woman again, freezing the path before me, then sliding under her swing. Rather than let the momentum carry me, I stab my magic sword into hers and hold on tight. I’ve ridden roller coasters that didn’t have half the speed of her swing.

As it completes its arc, she begins another swing, likely directed at Anna, but I fling myself off of the weapon, hurtling toward her head.

Before her blade can hit anything, mine is buried up to its hilt in her skull. I decide to take a lesson from my wife and fill up the injury with ice, frosting over her brain until shards stick out around the hand guard.

Of course, I didn’t quite think this through, and suddenly I’m hurtling to the ground as she falls over. I don’t even get the chance to figure out how to rescue myself before Anna, riding the equivalent of a magical jet back, flies by, grabbing me and carrying me onto the side of the bridge, away from the falling giant. “You okay?” she asks.

I nod. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

_I may have underestimated you. I didn’t think the two of you would defeat Modgudr so easily. I thought you’d win, but I was expecting a few more injuries for your magic to have to heal._

“Skaldi says we’re awesome.”

“That’s just ‘cause we are.” Anna waves her hand, putting out the slight singe on her cape. “You made me damage my cape.”

“You didn’t have to fly with your fire powers.”

“I wasn’t going to let her crush you.”

“I’d be fine.”

She fixes me with a glare from her blue-green eyes that I would call cold if given by anyone other than a god of fire. “You’re mine to hurt, and no one else’s. I can’t have someone else’s subby hurt mine, what would people think?”

“That she was a giant monster that I killed!”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Now get your sword and let’s go save our puppy.”

“Yes, Mistress,” I say, as snarkily as I can manage. I absolute deserve the slap that follows. Well, great, now I’m all horny AND on a quest to save my girlfriend. It’s a shame there’s no time for fun. “You better follow through on that later.”

“I’ll do whatever I wish.” She softens the line with a wink and I pull my sword out of the woman. I’m so glad that can’t be a euphemism anymore.

We resume crossing the bridge. A few members of the line are poking and prodding the fallen giant. “I’m glad that with your two magical items you’re finally almost as strong as I am.”

“Do we need to fight again?”

“Why, didn’t I kill you last time?”

I blink, trying to hide my anger. “That wasn’t you! And you cheated! I’d have won if Notos hadn’t just shown your face at the last second. I kicked his ass two fights in a row.”

“Ah, but he’s a pitiful weakling. I actually know how to make proper use of his powers, rather than just turning into wind and running away. Besides, it was my face when I killed you, so clearly I get the victory.”

My teeth grind against each other, hard enough that my jaw hurts. “Then you owe me a hell of a lot more making up. I was pissed enough at you when Notos killed me, if you’re gonna take credit, I think your tongue is gonna go numb, even without my being able to give you frostbite.”

She slaps my ass. “Fine. I didn’t kill you, and I love you.”

“I love you too.”

I grab her hand as we continue on. I’m a little pissed at her for that jibe, but we’re wandering into a whole new world here, and it feels nice having one of the women I love here with me. I just wish I had both of them. _Soon._ Wait, you can hear my thoughts? _Of course._ Well that’s not disconcerting at all. “Anna, do you want to hold Skaldi for a while?”

Anna looks at me like I’m crazy. “You’re the one with ice powers.”

“Right, so you need them. We’re in a land of ice. Wouldn’t you rather have immunity to it?”  
“I already do. I’m made of fire. Besides, you know how cold Jasmine always is, Skaldi just keeps her safe from freezing, not from being cold.”

“Right, but I have the magic sword, I don’t really need both.”

Anna giggles, and for a second she sounds almost like the innocent girl she used to be. “Skaldi’s being mean to you isn’t she?”

_I would never._ “No. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Then I guess you can keep her.”

I pause, a few feet from the end of the bridge. Anna turns around to stare at me. I’m fine. I can deal with something reading my mind. _You do think about murder and sex a whole lot, don’t you? Sometimes even both at once._ I do not! _You were just thinking about how badly you wanted Anna to pin you against the side of this bridge and have her way with you._ No, I was thinking about how I wanted to rescue Jasmine! _Of course. My mistake. You’re not a demented pervert at all._ “I just think we should take turns. You know, I mean, it just seems fair. That way you don’t have to deal with being so much weaker than me all the time.”

“You could just give me the sword.”

“That was a gift from Hera, I doubt it would work for you.”

“It would. I killed that Hydra with it a couple months ago, remember?”

_I can’t believe you’re too scared to spend a couple days with me._ I grumble, baring my teeth at the entity in my head.

Anna squeezes my hand. “It’s really getting to you, isn’t it? It’s okay. You don’t need to explain anything. I can take her for a little while, and you can have her back when you’ve had enough time to recover. Having ice powers for a little while should be interesting anyway.”

_Coward._ “Thank you.”

Her lips press against mine, her warmth flowing through me. I never notice the cold inside of me, but I always notice when she takes it away. It’s like melting in the most pleasant way possible. I throw my arms around her and pull her flush against me, her fire radiating through me as I kiss her back.

We don’t spend long in the embrace, we don’t have the time to spare, but when she pulls back, she takes the bracelet with her. “If not having this gets you killed, I’m going to rescue Jasmine on my own, go back to the Elysian Fields, bring you back home, kill you, and then get you again.”

“At least you’d get me again.” I smile, listening to the emptiness inside my head. Wait. That didn’t come out right. It’s really nice though. Having that judgey bitch inside of me is just annoying. Jasmine must have the fortitude of a fucking – what’s above a god? A titan? She must have the fortitude of a titan to put up with her for two and a half years.

Then again, they do seem to get along a lot better. Skaldi actually likes her. We continue back down the path, finding a snowy wilderness going on as far as the eye can see, with an endless mountain range before us and only a few small buildings near us.

“Let’s go look inside,” Anna says.

“We don’t want to hurry?”

“I’d rather have an idea of where we’re going. Come on.” She grabs my hand again and drags me behind her. We’re on our way, Jasmine. You and Skaldi can be reunited, and Anna and I will be able to hold you in our arms again. I promise. We’re going to save you.


	4. The Ice Queen Issue 2

Owwww. Ow ow ow ow. The adrenaline must finally be wearing off. I remember what that felt like after my first fight. It didn’t go much better than this one. All that time as a hero, and I’m still this reliant on Skaldi, and on my Mistresses? I won, but just barely, and he’s a normal human. How am I going to make it back home if just a one-on-one fight with a mortal leaves me this bad?  
I can barely see out of my left eye. The bruise from that axe handle is swelling up. I’ve been lying on this table for way too long, I’m wasting time, I just don’t want to try to put weight on my leg again. “Okay, Jasmine. You can do this. Come on.” I put on ‘Eye of the Tiger’ on my phone, letting it psych me up for a bit, and then, using the table for support, I clamber back onto my feet.

I wince and almost fall back down, but as I slowly ease off of the table, putting about a third of my weight onto my right leg, it doesn’t buckle. It hurts. It hurts so much. But it’s holding. Breathing through clenched teeth, I make my way toward the back wall. I’d been looking around for some sort of crutch while I was lying there, and I found two crossed spears over a shield. That’ll be perfect.

Halfway there, I grab onto the nearest table as my leg disagrees with the way I step. I definitely need that spear. With the tables to support me, I manage to make it over to the back wall and pull down one of the spears. It hits me in the foot, but I manage to hold onto it and poke it into the ground, leaning against it on my left.

Some protection would probably be a good idea. The shield has wraps for me to shove my arm through, so I’ll still be able to fight while using it. I slide it over my right arm – this is gonna be weird to get used to. I try walking a few steps. It’ll make walking easier, and I’d have my left hand lower on it for spear fighting anyway, so this might work out.

After a few laps around the dining hall, I’m starting to feel a little more confident in myself. I can walk at least. I just need to avoid any fights. Plus, that way, I don’t have to worry about killing anyone else.

Just the thought is enough to turn my stomach. I’d been planning on eating before I set out, but I don’t think I can handle it now. Oh well. I’m already dead anyway.

The rubble by the hole in the wall makes crossing a bit harder now, but it’s still easier than trying to open one of those doors like this. Through the hole and back outside, I take another look around. More time must have passed inside than I thought. It’s dark outside.

Fires dot the night sky as I look out over the countryside. The hills make it harder to see, but there must be more people that way. Maybe they can tell me how to get out – though now that I know this is Hel, if they can get out, why wouldn’t they?

Well, it’s been long enough that maybe that’s what they’d want? Their families would’ve all died too and they could be happy together. Yeah, that makes sense! No one would need to leave if they weren’t trying to get back to somebody. There probably really are people here who could help me find the exit. I just need to keep going.

The fires are tough to make out, so they’re definitely not close. They almost look like stars, just more orange. I can make it. I just have to walk – limp? – through the night. Then I can find them. Elsa, Anna, I’m coming. My cheeks burn. That’s not usually why I say that.

Luckily, the hills aren’t too steep. Even leaning heavily on the spear, I can manage to climb them with no issue. I go on like this for miles. How many hills are there? My inspirational music is still playing, so at least this feels like a montage. I just wish it meant that it sped things up.

To keep my mind off the pain, I sing along to the music. My voice rings out through Hel, filling the dark silence as I go, my phone’s flashlight lighting the way. The shield obscures it, so I only have half of a beam, but it’s still enough for me to keep going. I wish I could have the shield on the side of my uninjured eye. I’m having some pretty serious tunnel vision. With the light only being on the left and my sight only being on the right, all I can see is what’s right in front of me. Hopefully there’s nothing creeping next to me about me to kill me or anything.

It takes several hours of walking before I finally realize something. I’d thought about how dark it was before, especially with how easy it was to notice the fires, but it’s far darker than it should be.

The sky isn’t empty. Not quite. There’s only nine stars in the sky. They’re all far bigger than they should be, about the size of my fists, but their bluish lights, and the orange of the fires, give a strange overcast feel to the world. They’re not enough to make out more than the general outline of the hills around me, but even with my flashlight, I can’t quite make the world take on its normal color pallet.

These hills had looked like normal Earth hills in the day, green grass, brown dirt, a few rocks, but in this strange light, the feeling that I’m in some alien place keeps growing. I’m not in the home of the Aesir, I’m not around mead halls, and warriors, I’m in Hel. I’d prefer it over Hell by a massive amount, but it’s not some wonderful magical land – well not wonderful. It’s dangerous. And I can’t see or walk. I’d really rather just have to find Odin.

After miles and miles, the hills finally start to die away. I still find myself having to climb one from time to time, and I can’t make out much around me, but it seems like it’s starting to end up with something flatter. I just wish I knew what to expect.

The shaft of my spear plunges down and water splashes up on me. I have to lean on my bad leg to keep from falling in. It still can’t quite take my weight. I tumble over, screaming in pain as I fall onto my legs, the spear and phone clatter off on the rocks nearby.

Rocks dig into my knees and shins as I clamber around, trying to find my weapon. My phone must be face up, since it’s light is just a dull glow. The music makes it sound close, but it’s still just out of reach.

Unable to find my spear, I crawl to the light and snatch my phone. The land is illuminated as I wave my phone in a circle around me, looking for any threat. The ground is almost entirely pebbles. Jutting out from among them, the shaft of my spear dangles over water. I think it’s a lake, but it’s tough to tell.

I’m so glad I bought a heavy-duty case for my phone when I started super heroing. If I hadn’t, then I’m pretty sure those rocks would’ve broken it, and I’d have to spend however long it takes to find my way out without a soundtrack. I retrieve the spear and finally manage to get back to my feet. The water goes on for a while. At least it’s something new.

I start to walk, my spear tapping loudly on the stones as I go. Just barely, over the sounds of Demi Lovato, I can hear a faint rippling, like something’s disturbed the water.

Apparently, something has. There’s a huge splash, drenching me. I throw myself to the ground. That’s not a good sign.

Just as I land, rather painfully, something thumps down behind me. Two more footsteps sound, as I turn around, holding my spear up. Whatever it is stops. I point my phone toward it and feel a sudden stinging pain as the light flips and spins in the air, my phone landing with a soft sploosh in the water, the music muffling, burbling up from the lake in a distorted harmony. At least it’s waterproof.

I hold the shield up again. It saved my hand from whatever the heck this thing is when it thwacked away my phone. Hopefully it’ll keep doing so while I try to sort out what to do. It charges again. I can hear its feet pounding on the ground. Just two of them. So it’s something that wouldn’t even run on all fours. That’s weird.

I don’t have time to think about it any more, as its full weight slams into my shield. I put my weight on my left leg, pushing it into the grounds behind me, the wet pebbles not giving me the best footing. Holding the spear from the center, I jab it over the top of my shield. I feel like Leonidas! “For Sparta!” I can say that. My girlfriends are Greek gods.

The head of the spear jabs into the creature, I can feel its hide beginning to give way when I hear a sickening snap and my hand plunges forward. My spear broke. Crap.

A few quick slaps with the broken shaft and it runs off again. I turn, trying to track it the best I can by the sound of its steps. If I didn’t have my music so damn loud, then maybe I’d be able to hear it better, but I can’t really do anything about that right now. I hear it charge again. It’s close, I put up my shield, leaning into it, trying to ignore the pain as my right leg struggles to support me.

As it strikes my shield, I can feel the wood buckle under its might. It must’ve been going a lot faster this time. I’m hurled back, smack into the lake. Instinctively, I take in a breath as I hit, filling my lungs with water. Coughing only makes the situation worse. I hear another splash. It must be right behind me. I’m going to die.

Elsa.

Anna.

Please.

I need you.

Skaldi? Please.

The water doesn’t freeze over. It doesn’t all evaporate. There’s no gunshots, no stabbing. There’s just the slight bubbling sound of something else swimming in the water. I’m all on my own, against a monster that I can’t even see. I can barely even make out the light from my phone and I should only be a few feet from it. It’s so dark.

I turn and hold out what’s left of my shield. I’m sure it’s useless in the water, but I don’t have any other options. I don’t have any hope.

I don’t feel an attack. No jaws bite off my head, claws don’t rip away my shield and my arm with it, nothing happens. Instead, I feel something swim by me. Not thinking, I grab onto its back. It’s hairy, and even bigger than I thought. I don’t know why I did it. It’s not even like I have a dagger I can try to stab it with. I wish I still had Skaldi. I could just freeze the water around it.

At least it’ll be harder for it to eat me like this. My music seems to be getting louder. He’s charging right for it. Lenka’s Slow Lane is playing out and I can even see the light. Barely. It’s like it’s foggy down here. The water must be so dirty. Ew. I need a shower.

I feel the creature underneath me swipe at something, its arm moving through the water faster than I’d have believed. I don’t know how something humanoid could move that fast under water. It doesn’t seem possible.

It hit my phone!

My phone floats up above my head and I manage to snatch it. I’m so glad I bought this case.

Wait. It attacked my phone! It attacked me because of the sounds. It’s like Venom or like – my eyes widen at the realization. I’ve got a riddle for you. What’s big, furry, dead, Norse, and hates sounds? Give up? Grendel!

Its turning around, spinning in circles, looking for the source of the sound. I must be so light it can barely notice me. Or maybe I’m just quiet. I unlock my phone and quickly pause the music and turn the light off for good measure.

Rather than grabbing me from its back and ripping me to shreds, it stops, which is a bit of a relief, because I don’t know how much more spinning I could handle. The spinning tea cups always made me throw up. It seems to relax and I release my grip, paddling as quietly as I can toward the surface. It doesn’t seem to be looking for me. Hopefully, it’s not hungry, and even more hopefully it doesn’t change its mind.

When the open air hits my face I have to fight every instinct not to gasp for air. I have to be quiet. I take slow, steady breaths, and manage to not sputter up the water in my lungs. I can cough and hack it all up if I have to when I’m very far away from here. Right now, I just need to make it to the shore.

At the bank, I clamber onto all fours, feeling the rocks beneath me, the head of my spear poking my palm as I feel around. It doesn’t go in, but it still stings a little. I don’t bother getting up. Between my leg and the dark it’s just too dangerous. I can crawl.

The shield only gets in the way, and seems to be missing half of its wood, so I leave it behind. I stick to the edge of the lake, and just hope that I’ll be able to notice before I go in a circle. Feeling my way along, my left hand constantly hitting the water, I crawl for what feels like hours. In fact, it must have actually been hours, because it’s not so dark anymore.

The sun is rising. Oh thank God. Looking around, I can still barely make out the hills that I came from. Great. I’ve maybe managed to make it two miles in the past, what, six hours? I clamber to my feet, wincing as my leg fights me. My shins are scraped and bloody, my harem pants ripped to shreds below the knees, the protective under-layer frayed and exposed. Walking hurts even more than it had before, and now I don’t have anything for support.

That village has to be near here, right? I saw those lights. Even from the top of the hill, they couldn’t have been more than five, maybe six miles away. That would make them somewhere around two miles away now, if I haven’t lost my bearings. I’ll find them. Maybe they’ll even have medicine, something to kill this pain and prevent an infection, but at the very least they should have a spear.

Limping, I manage to make it another mile or so before I need to rest. I collapse. There’s not even a path anymore. I don’t know when I went off of it. I hope I’m still going the right way. There’s a few trees, a hill, and I think I can hear a river, but I’m farther away from that lake at least.

My phone says that it’s midnight. I wonder what the time difference is. It’s battery still says zero percent, and it’s still working like normal. This case was an amazing investment, and being in the afterlife must be helping some too. I start up my music. I don’t feel like singing along, but I do miss home. I put on some Mozart. My father always loved him. I should have dinner with him when I get back. It’s been a couple weeks and I miss him. I know he worries about me.

After about twenty minutes, I pull myself back to my feet and continue on. I’ll find that village, no matter what. It can’t be far. I just wish I could use Google Maps.

Wait. There’s a hill nearby! I pick up speed and immediately regret it. Ow. Slowing down, I limp up the hill, taking my time and being careful not to hurt myself more. At the top, I sit down again. I’m still pretty exhausted. I must’ve been here for at least a full day and I haven’t slept.

The first way I look just shows me the river, a few trees, and another hill, but as I look around, I finally spot it. It’s maybe a mile away. There’s a few houses on top of a mound that could barely even qualify as a hill. It’s not exactly a village, but it’s something. There are people there. Maybe they’ll be friendly.

I’ll go there soon. I just need a nap first.


	5. The Borealis and the Fire Queen Issue 1

            _We don’t have the time._ I can already understand why Elsa wanted to pawn her off on me. Feeling the ice coursing through my veins doesn’t help. I’m not cold, I’m not about to start shivering like Jasmine always did, but the fire inside me is raging all the more to fight it and I can still feel it, like my insides are frosting over. _I do worry about that._

            So you can read my mind?

            _Yes._

            I throw open the door to the little building and find a tavern inside. It’s comfortable, warm, and cozy, with only a handful of people in it. I take a seat at the bar. Will I still be able to use my powers?

            _I don’t know. I’ve never had to find out before. I don’t tend to work with people who already have powers._

            A small flame flickers on the end of my finger. It’s no harder than usual, though it feels silly without a cigar to light. I replace it with an icicle, the long talon extending from my finger.

            “Promise you’ll trim that before you fuck me?” Elsa asks.

            “I’ll consider it.” I was going to just make it disappear, but I can’t have her think I’m doing it for her, I’d rather she spend the next few minutes thinking about exactly what this would feel like. I rake my talon along the varnished wood, carving out a slow circle as I meet her eyes.

            “You two speak English?” a man asks. He has a slight Northwestern accent. Definitely not from New York, but American.

            We both stare at him. That ruined my fun. Oh well, we are in a hurry. _I thought I was going to have to translate for you._ I try to ignore the voice in my head. “Yes, we do. How’d you end up here?”

            “I died. Isn’t that how we all do?”

            Elsa grins. “Not us.”

            “What?”

            “Ignore her.” The icicle scratches a slight cut on her inner arm to silence her. It’ll heal immediately, unlike with my usual powers, but it does the job. It’s about the only place I could hit other than her neck. I guess that’s what happens when you copy medieval armors instead of just wearing a super hero outfit like a normal person. I shove my cape aside. “So, you’re new here then?”

            “Yeah. Did you two die at Comic Con?”

            I don’t even need to turn to know just how clear the offense must be on Elsa’s face. It took Jasmine and I half an hour of convincing before she was even willing to step inside a convention a few months ago, but we’d bought the tickets for Jasmine’s birthday, and she wasn’t willing to disappoint her. She stays silent like a good girl.

            “No, we didn’t. We’re super heroes.”

            I should’ve brought a ball gag. As hard as she tries to hold back, she still lets out a faint groan.

            “Oh.” He nods, trying to act like he knows that’s a normal thing. “Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t you be? Everyone knows um…” He looks between the two of us.

            “The Fire Queen and The Borealis.” Elsa had insisted I don’t go by the name Notos. I can hardly blame her for it, he did kill her. Plus, this way I get to have a matching name with Jasmine, even if it is a little silly. Now if only some spoil sport would give in and get a proper super hero name, then we could have our own Justice League. I like Snow Princess for her. I suggested Pillow Princess when she didn’t like it, but for some reason she didn’t appreciate that one either. _How was I not there for any of this? Did you two leave Jasmine out of super hero discussion? That’s just cold._ Was that an ice pun?

Over Skaldi’s silence, he says, “Right, yeah, of course. I know you guys. You’re the big super heroes that everyone loves. And we all know super heroes exist.”

            “It’s okay,” I say, gripping Elsa’s thigh through her armor. She’s being such a good girl, if there was time, I’d reward her. “We try to keep a low profile. One of our–“ I search for the word, openly being polyamorous and gay isn’t the safest way to get information, “A member of our team died. She doesn’t seem to be here and we need to find her. We’re quite confident she’s in Hel.”

            “Did she die in battle? Why wouldn’t she go to Valhalla?”

            “She died after the battle was over, apparently it didn’t count. I’ve already talked to a Norse god about it.” Killing deities doesn’t tend to go over well either. _I thought it was hilarious. It’s about time those Aesir see what real power is._

            “Well then, she should be at the gate, like everyone else.”

            “How long have you been here?”

            Sucking on his teeth, he looks at the walls for any sort of clocks. “I don’t know. What year is it?”

            “2019.”

            “Oh. So not that long. What month?”

            I sigh. Clearly he’s been here long enough he could have seen her if she passed through, but I suppose there’s no reason not to humor him. “It’s August. So, did a Middle Eastern girl, around five-five, black hair, wearing blue harem pants and a flowy shirt pass through?” _I forgot, you two actually did one other good thing. You talked her into that new shirt that allowed for the chainmail lining._ If only it was lava-proof.

            “No, I think she’d stand out. It’s pretty much only ever people even whiter than me.” He gestures toward a skinhead at the other end of the bar. “I would definitely know if I saw her. I’m sorry, but I don’t think she’s here.”

            “She has to be!” Elsa shouts, her eyes widening as she catches my gaze.

            I pat her leg. I’m worried about Jasmine too, I can understand her reaction. “Is there anyplace else she could be? How large is Hel?” _She didn’t enter the normal way, make sure you mention that._ “If she more fell down here rather than entering through a normal death, could she have ended up someplace else?”

            His eyes narrow as he looks between us. “I thought you said she died after a battle with some super villain.”

            “She did. It was just a little complicated. So, how big is Hel? Is there a directory of some sort?”

            Shrugging, he replied, “I have no idea. I’ve only been here for a few weeks. I’ve been too scared to look into it much. Besides, my goddess, Modgudr is just over there, and I wouldn’t want to leave her.” _We should get out of here before someone tells him._

            Forcing a genuine smile — an ability that comes in so useful when you run a criminal organization — I take his hand. “Well thank you for your time. I’m sure we can find her on our own.”

            He rises with us. “Wait. You could try asking Ms. Hel. Maybe Lady Modgudr would know, I could go with you and we could ask her.”

            “It’s okay.”

            Elsa looks to me for permission to kill him, but I shake my head.

            Keeping my smile plastered, I say, “I wouldn’t want to bother your gods over our mortal affairs. At least we know you haven’t seen her, so we can go look somewhere else.”

            “There’s a lot to look through. We’re still just in Niflheim, all of Hel proper lies ahead. It’s an entire continent. I really think we should ask —”

            “We’ll head to Hel proper then. Thank you.” Snatching Elsa’s hand, I lead her outside, leaving the confused neopagan behind. This is going to take a while.

            _That could have been interesting. I just can’t have you two dying before we rescue Jasmine. I have no way to enter Hades, assuming you’d even go there if you died in Niflhel._

            “People really worship that giant? That’s weird,” Elsa mutters.

            “We seem to make a habit of killing gods.”

            _There will be more to kill before our quest is done, I’ve little doubt. Hel does not appreciate her property being stolen._

The fire surrounding me brushes aside any of her ice. “She’s my property,” I growl. “Hel’s the thief here. If she makes an issue of it, then she’ll die.”

            “Same here, but I have no idea what the setup for the scary monologue was.”  
            “Sorry.” That brat. “Skaldi thinks it’s likely that we’ll have to fight Hel if we’re rescuing Jasmine. I told her it wouldn’t be an issue.”

            “Of course not.” Her cocky grin, the same one she’s had since we were kids, does always make me feel a bit more confident. She’s always stopped everyone in our way, there’s no reason that’ll stop now. “She’s our puppy, and she belongs with us, that’s all there is to it.”

            We pick up speed. It sounds like Pete may have to run the family for longer than we’d hoped, but it just means we can’t dillydally. The wind picks up, whipping snow at us, that promptly turns to steam as it approaches. We head on.

            “Could you please explain all of this for someone who doesn’t study mythology? All I understand is that we’re in the Norse afterlife and — no, that’s pretty much it.” Elsa looks over to me, looking more frustrated than I usually love making her. I knew she never actually did any of that research I’d suggested. I should’ve made it an order.

            “You know who Skaldi is, right?”

            “She’s a Norse god.”

            “A Jotun, technically, but yes.” _I was married in._ “And Hel is the goddess of the dead and ruler of this realm. She’s also a Jotun, more or less.” Right? _Yes._ “She rules over the domain of her name. We’re there — kind of. It’s part of Niflheim, and there’s been a great deal of scholarly debate over that subject.” _Scholars are fools._ “Niflheim is the land of mist and ice, as I’m sure you can tell.”

            She surveys the snowy mountain we’re walking across. “Oh, I thought that was just me.”

            I roll my eyes. “So from the sound of it, we have to get to where Niflheim becomes Hel.”

            “And Jasmine will be there?” I can hear the concern in her voice. It’s so cute. Even after this long, I still can’t get used to her actually caring about something or someone.

            I wish I could give a more solid answer. _She will be. She has to be. We will find her._ Nodding, I say, “She should be. I don’t think a valkyrie has ever dropped someone before, it’s tough to say what happened, but whatever it was, we’ll find her. If she’s not here, then we’ll go to Asgard, to Vanaheim, Svartalfheim, whatever it takes. She’s ours, and we won’t give her up.”

            “Right.” She doesn’t sound convinced.

            “Elsa, we will find her. You don’t need to worry.”

            She pivots, her heel digging into the snow as she stares at me. “How can you say that? She was our responsibility. She’s our —” choking back a sob, she manages “Our pet.” She swallows, blinking away freezing tears. “We should’ve kept her safe.”

            Cupping her cheek, I reply, “We’re bringing her back. She wanted to rush into danger, you know her. Don’t blame yourself, just don’t let her die.”

            She nods, swallowing another sob.

            I wrap my arms around her. The coldness of her presses against me, joining the feeling of Skaldi’s own cold coming from inside. If I wasn’t fire incarnate, I think I’d be a tad chilly. I bury my face against her chest, taking in her feeling the best I can. I’m worried about her too. Of course, I am. I’ve just learned to stop letting it get to me. It’s a skill that I had to master when she put me in charge of the Arlotti family, and it’s quite useful when someone kills your girlfriend. I wish I‘d already possessed it when I killed her.

            Her fist clenches around the Kevlar and spandex of my costume as she collects herself. “You’re right. There’s no time for tears.” Her voice is hardened, she’s back to being my soldier. Only this isn’t a job.

            I pull back, looking up into her eyes. God, she always looks so kissable when she gets emotional. “Don’t do that. I do that enough for the both of us. This isn’t just some hit, we’re trying to save the woman we love. This should be personal, it should be getting to us. Let me do my thing, you can stay pissed, just don’t harden yourself like that.”

            “Hypocrite.”

            “A little.“ I hook my hand behind her head, pulling her down into a kiss. As she points out, there’s no time to linger, but I think I needed it. It does, however, ensure that my fire isn’t the only heat in me. “You’ve changed so much, Elsa. I just don’t like seeing you close yourself off again. I can’t even think of the last time you let yourself care about a new person.”

            “Well, you know what they put me through when I did. For most of my life I let myself care about three people. One of them ordered me to kill another of them, then I killed that one, and the remaining one killed me. Caring is just not worth the risk.”

            So she really is still pissed about that. We were just joking about it; I thought she was doing better. “I’m sorry.”

            “I tried before then,” she continues, seemingly not even noticing my apology, “I tried to make friends, I tried to just be part of the family, but you know how that went.” Her gaze trails down over her body. She’d lucked out pretty well with her transition, especially since Pete had helped her start when she was sixteen, but I know how much the changes she’d already gone through had bothered her, and just how much kids at the orphanage and dicks in the mafia both loved reminding her of it.

            “And then you met this adorable puppy who you just couldn’t help but care for. A girl who you wanted to look after, who you love.”

            “And now she’s dead.”

            Instead of slapping some sense into her, I settle for squeezing her hand. “She won’t stay like that.”

            Elsa nods.

            “Say it.” I let my play voice creep in, commanding my slave. Maybe she won’t listen to her wife, but she’ll absolutely listen to her Mistress. Or else.

            Pale blue eyes widen as she stares down at me. “Yes. Sorry. She won’t stay dead. We’ll save her.”

            “Exactly.” Standing on my tiptoes, I barely manage to kiss her chin. “Now come on. Let’s get moving.” I tug on her hand, leading her on, walking through the unending blizzard.

            “Anna?”

            “Yes?” She sounds so unsure. Maybe I should order her to believe in us. I manage not to chuckle at my joke. She sounds too serious and I don’t want to hurt her feelings.

            “You’ve changed too. It’s wonderful to see.” She manages the first genuine smile I’ve seen since we began our journey. “It’s almost like you’re that girl I first fell in love with again. You’re full of hope and energy, and you only want to make things better. I love you, no matter who you become, but it is nice to see that. I’m sorry that I helped so much in moving you away from that person in the first place.”

            “It’s okay, honey. I became the woman I needed to be to survive this family, and to manage running it. It’s not your fault.”

            “I did put you in charge.”

            “It’s partly your fault.”

            She snickers, the smile growing warmer.

            I can’t help but chuckle and smile back. I’ve never been able to resist her. She has such a cute little smile. “I think being a super hero has been a really nice break from all that. I feel like I’m actually doing good, and I’m having fun, and spending time with the women I love. It’s a nice change of pace from having to make business and war decisions all the time.”

            “Well, you did manage to take over the entire state in just over a year. You’re clearly pretty good at making those decisions.”

            “We have two immortal gods and a super hero. Or I guess three super heroes, all of whom have the powers of gods.” I love thinking of myself like that. _Now if only you’d act like it and stop being a murderer._

I glare at the bracelet. Oh, so you never murdered?

            _Not around Jasmine. She’s better than that. She’s better than all of us, and I don’t appreciate you two dragging her down to your level._

            Well, she’s raised us up to hers too.

            “Anna?”

            “It’s nothing.” I flash another smile, but by the continued look of concern on her face, I can tell that it’s not convincing. “You know how she can be.”

            “Yeah, it’s why I gave her to you.”

            “You just love getting rid of anything annoying, don’t you?”

            “Please, if that was true I’d never have ended up with Jasmine.”

            _Kill her._ “Be nice to our puppy.”

            She conjures some skis as we approach a downward slope. Super powers can be so much fun. “I’m always nice to her.”

            “Right.”

            “I am.”

            I use Skaldi’s powers to create my own pair. It’s strange, I keep wanting it to come out fire, and it takes a bit of work to make them perfect. Definitely not as easy as that icicle had been. “We’ll ask her when we find her.”

            Rather than answering, she just smirks, waves, and speeds down the mountain, making the path before her harden into ice to help her pick up speed. I knew what to expect. When she first came out to me she had to go beat someone up just to process all the emotions. I follow after, using Skaldi to imitate her plan. Other than the trees and rocks flowing by, it’s a relaxing trip. I can see dozens more mountains stretching out, all covered in snow and obscured by mist. This may take a while.


	6. The Ice Queen Issue 3

The sun is almost touching the horizon. Oh poop. I didn’t mean to sleep that long. I scramble to my feet and to my great surprise, my foot holds my weight! I try putting a little more onto it and it hurts, but I don’t fall over. Yes! It isn’t broken. Just bruised or sprained, whatever it is, I can manage. My left eye is can open about halfway. Good nap.

I find the roof of the house peeking over a few trees, with another house barely visible behind it. The third house is at the base of the hill, but there’s a light fog and I can’t quite make it out. I hadn’t noticed it before I fell asleep, but they look a lot more modern. They’re made of actual bricks, they have proper paned windows. Maybe they’ll have food and some painkillers too.

Going downhill it hurts a bit more, but it’s nothing I can’t manage. I can walk like a normal person again, just wincing every other step. It only takes me about twenty minutes to reach the hill. There’s music playing, I can smell food, there’re voices drifting down hill. Oh, thank you. My stomach groans hungrily at the scent of sausages.

I pause my music in the middle of Let Me Down. It just seems rude to play it over their classical music. I’m a guest and I’m about to be begging for food. My father taught me better than that.

I know this song. It’s Wagner. Oh, my god! It’s Ride of the Valkyries. I just went on one of those. Beaming, I head around the house to where the music is playing and my stomach drops out. I feel like I rode the Tower of Terror or something. Like I’m free falling. I fling myself against the wall, squeezing to it for dear life. I don‘t think any of them saw me. Please say they didn’t see me.

No one sounds excited. I can’t quite understand what they’re saying, so if they saw me, they’re being calm about it. The language sounds a little like English and Old Norse, but not enough that I can recognize what the words are. I know what language it is, though.

Those uniforms are genuine. The guns at their hips must be real too. It’s like something right out of a history book. I swallow, trying to keep my heart from beating out of my chest.

I don’t think the Nazis are gonna share their bratwurst. Especially not with me.

Sinking down to the ground, I let out the breath I was holding. What am I going to do? I need that food, and Elsa would never forgive me if I didn’t take the chance to fight Nazis, but they outnumber me and have guns, I have a cell phone and some bruises.

Who the hell has dinner in an SS uniform, anyway? It’s just tacky.

I crawl back down the hill, letting the fog conceal me. The two houses at the top are barely visible and the one at the bottom is on the other side. There’s no reason they should come down here. I’ll wait. It’s almost sunset. They’ll probably go to sleep before too long. Then I can take their food, some weapons, and maybe take a few Nazis while I’m there.

Wait.

Do I mean I’ll kill them?

I miss having Skaldi answer my questions. I sit on the ground, curled up to be as unobtrusive as possible, and let that sink in. I’ve already killed one person, and we’re already dead. Plus, they’re Nazis. Is it really so bad to do it? I don’t think I can win a fight against them without doing so, but that would make this premeditated. Maybe I should just take the goods and leave.

But they’re Nazis.

Actual Nazis.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and mess around with it while I wait. I have a few ebooks on Greek and Norse mythology on here and a couple romance novels that Anna suggested when I was first coming to grips with my sexuality. I read those. I miss her. I miss both of them so much. It’s only been about two days, but it feels like so much longer. My hand shoots up, clutching at my collar. Never again. I’m theirs, and I don’t want to have to go so much as a day without them if I can avoid it. Not because I need them, I can apparently take care of myself, even without Skaldi, but because I love them and they mean everything to me.

Just when the book starts getting steamy, the voices die down. I give it another hour, until my phone says it’s 2:30 in the afternoon, before I creep back up the hill.

There are a couple people outside, tending the camp fire. Neither of them have the fancy leather jackets, but they are in uniform. One of them has his holster on, but the other doesn’t. If I can just disarm that one, I can take out the other.

And wake up everyone. You’re smarter than this, Jasmine. I’m just here to get some food and equipment, that’s it. I don’t need to kill Nazis. Even killing Nazis has to be at least kind of wrong. Right? Reich?

One of them turns around at the sound of my giggle, but I duck back behind the house just in time. I creep around the outside, keeping low to avoid being visible through the windows.

On the front side of the house, I take a risk and peek through the nearby window. It looks like a kitchen. There’s a table, some cabinets, and a very old fashioned refrigerator. There’s no one in it right now. I try the door and find it unlocked. There’s an icebox with some left over sausage inside, along with an assortment of other foods. I chew on a cold bratwurst as I look around. There’s bread, beer, sauerkraut, some lettuce, meat that I can’t quite place, a few carrots and potatoes, and a pitcher of juice. I wash down my second sausage with the juice and look around for something to keep their food in.

Footsteps come from somewhere above me and I duck under the table, finding myself more thankful for a table cloth than I ever was in life. The footsteps head toward the fridge and I risk a peek. He’s in his night clothes, which tragically lack any Nazi insignias. It makes him look almost human.

He doesn’t have a weapon, so I sit and wait for him to head back upstairs. Instead, he pulls out one of the chairs, a plate of food in his other hand. There’s no way he won’t notice me, and if he does, then I‘m dead. Deader. I only have a second to react.

I dart out from under the table, pinning him to the wall by his throat and covering his mouth with my other hand. I don’t have my normal strength, but a combination of adrenaline and his being half-awake and surprised seems to amount to about the same.

He struggles, squirming, making as much noise as he can, but no one else comes. They must be sound sleepers, or else they’re used to a bunch of drunk Nazis running around.

The life fades from his eyes as his body goes slack, but I don’t let go. Not until I’m sure he’s dead.

I collapse in the chair he’d already pulled out. I’m a murderer. That’s the second person I’ve killed. Elsa will be so proud. Letting out a sardonic laugh, my eyes land on the beer he had already set on the table. I down it in a single swallow. It tastes like butt, but that’s exactly what I deserve. Not butt, something unpleasant. I don’t deserve butt, that’d just be weird.

I want to drink a second beer, but I’m about to fight an army of Nazis and I can’t risk being sloppy. Just the one already has me feeling a little lightheaded. Probably about how the guy I strangled to death felt. I manage not to throw up as I head back outside. Screw it. I’m already a killer. I need their gear, and they’re fucking Nazis. At least it’ll be a good story to tell Elsa.

Outside, it’s still empty and dark. The two around back are telling some sort of story and loudly laughing. I need that gun.

On one side, I set my phone on the ground and slide through a few screens. Elsa put some movies on my phone for the plane ride to California over the summer, and they should still be on there. Yes. Perfect. One of her favorite movies.

Finding just the right scene, I turn up the volume and head to the other side of the house, and watch the two. They’ve been talking loudly enough that they still haven’t heard the movie, but I can almost see their ears perk up when they hear the line I’d been waiting for. “Each and every man under my command owes me one hundred Nazi scalps. And I want my scalps!”

I couldn’t resist.

The unarmed one moves first, heading toward the sound while the one with the gun draws his weapon and follows, keeping his distance.

The distraction is working perfectly. I sneak up behind the armed one and try to snap his neck. That, however, doesn’t go as planned. It’s not as easy as it looks and I’m a lot weaker than normal. I have one hand on his neck and the other on his chin and I jerked his head to the side, but he’s just alive. Movies always made it look so easy.

He starts to shout, but I cover his mouth. Too late.

The other one spins around, his eyes going wide as he sees some brown woman tussling with his dear old racist buddy. He rushes forward, so I stop trying to break necks or cover mouths and simply snatch the gun. He must not have been expecting it since it comes away in an instant.

I jump back as they head toward me, my hands shakily holding up the weapon. I have to do this. They’ll kill me otherwise. And they’re Nazis. Elsa taught me to shoot. Anna taught me to shoot better. I squeeze the trigger twice and they each go down with a spray of blood and brains. They didn’t even make a sound.

This time I do throw up.

Lights come on in the other two houses and I rush back inside through the back door. I find myself in a living room – or would it be a parlor?

Whatever it is, it isn’t empty.

Another Nazi in pajamas must have been running for the door after hearing those shots. His gun is drawn, but he looks surprised to see me. Rather than waiting for a response, I fire two rounds into him.

I drop my weapon and grab his, then head upstairs. It’s more easily defendable if more people are coming, and more importantly, I need to look around. I want better weapons, and a bag to carry the food.

Upstairs, in one of the two bedrooms I find more than a bag. There’s a canvas satchel, with a nice little SS lightning bolt insignia on it, because of course it is, but there’s also a spear. Just what I wanted.

The new weapon in my left hand and the pistol in my right, I head back to the bedroom door. Across the hall there are just two more empty beds and a couple of pistols and magazines. With the extra ammo stored in my cell phone pocket, I wait at the top of the stairs to see if any more are going to come join me. I’m ready. I’m a badass Nazi killer. I’m whatever I have to be.

It’s a surprisingly long wait. Several minutes pass and I can still faintly hear the movie playing outside. Then the sound stops. I knew I should’ve grabbed my phone. At least I know they’re here. Maybe they didn’t destroy it. I really don’t want to be without my music if I’m stuck here for eternity.

Finally, a man shows up at the bottom of the stairs. I don’t even hesitate. The spear flies through the air, soaring right into his neck and pinning him to the wall. Then a funny thing happens.

The spear comes back to my hand.

Huh. I’m gonna need to look into that later.

Another one shows up and I try throwing the spear again. I didn’t think to aim, yet it still went right through his head. That’s – I think I’m going to be sick again. Holy shit. Shooting people in the head is less horrifying.

It flies back to me and I try to ignore the brain matter just a foot above my hand. I rush down the stairs. The next person won’t be so dumb, they’ll notice the dead bodies and come out shooting.

Apparently I’m right. The second I enter the kitchen, a gunshot sounds and I feel a hot burning sensation in my left arm. The spear clatters onto the floor but I fire back. My aim is better. More brains spill onto the wall.

The spear flies back into my hand, but I can’t lift it too well. If it hurts this much when my body is full of adrenaline, I am not looking forward to what it feels like when I crash. I hear footsteps behind me and fire on instinct. The second shot kills him.

Let’s see. That should be eight Nazis. I’m only 92 short. If each of the three houses is about the same, with two bedrooms and two beds each, then I should expect twelve. I can manage. My arm is killing me and I can barely use it, I still can’t see fully out of my left eye, and my right leg is less reliable than I’d like, but I can do it. I’m the Ice Queen. I’m a god damn super hero. I can take on a whole army of Nazis. And I’ll kill them all.

I grab a washcloth by the sink and wrap it around my arm, trying to stop the bleeding. Should I wait here or go look for them? They have me in numbers. What would Pete say? No, what would Elsa say? She did this for years with no powers, just like I am right now. That actually makes me feel a little better. She’d go out to them. They won’t expect it and I can pick them off.

The back door is closer to the other houses, so I take the front instead, startling two more Nazis. That was quick.

They both raise their guns and fire as I dive back in through the doorway at the last second, hitting the floor. I fire through the wall, at what I can remember of where they were. One of them screams.

Jumping to my feet, I only wince slightly as I dash to the side just as they open fire again. Bullets tear through the wall, but I pop out of the door and place two rounds in the one still standing.

The one on the ground is crawling toward something. He must’ve dropped his gun when I shot him. One more bullet and he stops moving.

After half an hour of looking, I still can’t find the last two, and my washcloth is almost completely red. I go through each house, expecting to be shot the second I open each door. The windows would be too loud and awkward. It’s better to just open the doors from the side like Elsa taught me.

There are only two beds in the house at the bottom of the hill. Maybe they were the officers. At least it means I probably killed all of them, even if I wasted all of this time bleeding out as I tried to find two nonexistent Nazis.

This house is a little nicer and isn’t full of dead bodies. I drink some tap water then stop to stare at it. How is the water running? Where is it coming from? What even is this house?

There’s a first aid kit in their bathroom, so I take off the washcloth and down a handful of aspirin. There’s also some Bayer’s Heroin in the kit, but as far as I’ve fallen in the last two days – both literally and figuratively – I’m still not quite there.

This is far from my first bullet wound. I still have the scars in my side and my thigh, but Skaldi had helped with the pain and wounds before. This hurts a lot more, even after the last forty minutes. I clean the injury with some rubbing alcohol, which hurts even more, and take a look at the entry and exit wounds. They’re small, so at least it wasn’t a hollowpoint. This time.

There’s cloth, and likely a bit of chainmail inside. My eyes water as I use the tweezers, but I manage not to scream. Cotton rounds stick easily, since the blood just won’t stop, and I wrap a bandage around my shoulder, as tight as I can manage without restricting blood flow. I throw on another layer of bandage on top of it to keep it secure. Now, I hopefully won’t die from blood loss before a monster can eat me.

I don’t want to eat yet. I need some more food in me after how much I threw up and all that blood loss, but I have to find my cell phone, and if I’m going to be looking through a bunch of dead bodies, I don’t want to have just eaten.

Five bodies later, I find my phone. It somehow avoided getting any brains on it, but it’s in the jacket pocket of the guy in the stairway who was missing most of his head.

Barely managing to keep the meager contents of my stomach down, I rush back to the officer’s house. After drinking two beers, I grab a third and make myself a salad from their cabbage. It stays down, so I add cold cuts to the meal. I guess I can live with sleeping in a Nazi bed. I did kill its owner, so hopefully that cancels out any racism left in it.

Since I’m already in the kitchen, I wet a new washcloth and try to clean off the spear. I hadn’t really taken the chance to examine it before. It’s a beautiful weapon. About six feet tall, its blade nearly a foot itself, and the material doesn’t seem to be just wood. It’s sturdier than that, but it still feels wooden.

Wiping away the bits that I am trying very hard not to think about from the tip, I unveil some symbols. Just below and going up the blade, are a series of Norse runes. Oh. I’ve read about this weapon. How are we so good at making enemies of gods? Odin is going to be pissed.


	7. The Fire Queen and the Borealis Issue 2

            We’ve been walking through these endless mountains for well over a day without rest. I’m not exactly getting tired just yet, we’ve had longer, more strenuous marathons, but it’s definitely up there, and we don’t have any caffeine. _You can sleep when we find her!_

            Skaldi, I’m not saying we need to sleep yet, but it’s going to happen eventually. Jasmine is a strong girl, even without the three of us, have some faith in her. She’ll be okay until we find her. All she has to do is set up a camp someplace and wait.

            _I know._ She sounds hesitant, sad, almost apologetic. _She means so much to me. She actually respects me, unlike anyone else who has ever used me, and she’s a good person._

            Wow, you’ve grown, the ‘unlike you’ was only implied.

            _Are you arguing otherwise?_

            It wasn’t that long ago I really thought I was a good person. Then Notos tried changing that, and the mafia did the rest, so no, I’m not, but both Elsa and I are absolutely good for Jasmine. We’ve helped her realize who she is, we do our best to keep her safe, and I’m getting her better armor, no matter how much she protests that it makes her feel ‘less super’ this time, and we love her.

            _I’m not saying you don’t love her, in your own twisted way._

“Wait.” I stop mid-step in the blowing snow to stare at my wrist. “Is this a kinkshaming thing? I always assumed it was the murder.”

            Elsa stares at me. “Skaldi? Called it.”

            “You did not.”

            _The murder never bothered me, it bothered Jasmine and that bothered me._

            “That’s not an answer.”

            Silence.

            “Well, I guess I can just take this bracelet off and leave it.”

            _Wait! You wouldn’t._

            “Just watch me.”

            _Fine. She’s her own woman and I don’t particularly appreciate the way you treat her. She’s not some dog._

Have you seen her tail? I think she might be. Okay, it’s too cold to be as turned on as that image is getting me.

            _Maybe you’re even worse than Elsa._

            I move my hand to rip off the bracelet. Okay, that’s about enough of that. I’m sick and tired of how you talk about my wife. I can put up with your treatment of me, as you at least act like you respect me, but Elsa is the entire reason Jasmine is in my life in the first place, she’d die for her, and you act like she’s some abusive bitch.

            _I didn’t say abusive. I would more say she’s a monster._

            This better not be transphobia.

            _I don’t know what that is._

            Okay. You can apologize to Elsa or I’m taking you off and melting you. I think my powers could manage that just fine.

            _She’s an idiot._

            No. She isn’t. At all. She just doesn’t care that much about most things, she was taught not to pretty early in life. But she cares about me and she cares about Jasmine. If all you care about is Jasmine, then maybe you shouldn’t be so mean to someone who she’s madly in love with. You live in her head; you know exactly how she feels.

            _That’s precisely my problem._

Oh, grow the fuck up. Is there seriously nothing you like about her? You’ve been living with us for over a year, seeing everything that we all do – do you see? _Yes_. Feeling everything that Jasmine feels, and you’ve had more than enough time to learn how wonderful Elsa can be.

            _Then she’s very good at hiding it._

            So, nothing? You can’t find a single redeemable thing about her?

            _She has nice feet._

            I’m not even sure how to respond to that. I just stare at the stupid sapient bracelet. You’re gonna need to do better than that.

            An annoyed groan echoes through my head. _Fine. I know how much Jasmine loves her, and I understand that she’s trying to be good for her, even if it doesn’t always feel like it. I’ll try to play nice._

            Or you’re getting melted.

            _Understood. I’ll try very hard._

            I smack the bracelet against my shoulder on the off chance it’ll hurt her. At least it’s something. Maybe she’ll actually come around if we have long enough. “I’m gonna try to take a look and see how much farther we have to go.”

            Elsa nods, straining to stare out through the blinding snow. I’m not sure how much I’ll be able to see, but it can’t hurt.

            Using jets of fire from my hands and feet, I hurl myself into the sky. It’s a lot harder than on the bridge, I can only manage tiny jets and I’m not rising nearly as fast, but it still works. The mountains really do seem to just go on forever. There’s so many of them. And some of them seem to be moving. It’s tough to tell, and I have to squint through the blizzard, but I’m certain of it. What the Hel?

            Landing in a puddle — apparently I came in too hot — I say, “This should be interesting.” Any thoughts?

            _I haven’t been to Hel before. So, either we have some frost giant visitors, or there are sapient mountains here. Neither would surprise me too much._

Should we try to avoid them?

            _I doubt they’ll attack us. We’re not Aesir, they have no grudge against us._

            If you insist. “Come on.” I wave for Elsa to follow, which she does, like a good girl. We ski down the mountain and let the inertia carry us a good halfway up the next one. Elsa’s ice trick works so well, I’m a little disappointed I didn’t think of it. I decide to one up her, letting a quick burst of flame propel me forward, bringing me to the top and leaving my wife in my wake.

            The mountain seems to have something to say about this.

            It shakes, knocking me off as it rises up. Something resembling a yawn bellows forth from it, shaking the snow from the other mountains, and revealing that a few more of them aren’t made of dirt as the avalanche softens my landing and envelopes me.

            Snow melts around me as I free myself. Several creatures, resembling misshapen humans, with broad shoulders, a dozen stories tall, and made from ice and flesh stand over me. “Who’re these marshmallow looking fuckers?” Elsa asks, sliding to a stop behind me. Of course an avalanche wouldn’t stop her from looking cool, nothing else ever has.

            “Frost giants.”

_Repeat what I say._ I do so, saying something in some language I can barely manage to pronounce. She translates after. _I bear Skaldi, goddess of the snow and the hunt, and a fellow Jotunn. I bid you good tidings._

            Their response shakes the valley, causing more snow to thunder down. _An obvious lie from one of Hel’s minions. You shan’t stop us from our quest. You shall not interfere, we will bring Bergelmir back to Jotunheim, and crush any who oppose us._

            _Stubborn idiots,_ she mutters in my head, before replying, _We are no friend of Hel. We’re here to rescue one of our own. Why don’t we work together?_

            _Filthy lying Aesir. Why would I ever trust you?_

_What did he just call me? There is only one good Aesir, and Njord is clearly not here._ She gives me another reply. _You have me mistaken for one of Odin’s flock, a comparison I do not take lightly. I offer again: work with us, we can rescue our friends far more easily together. You do not want me as an enemy._ I conjure one of Jasmine’s ice spears to drive the point home.

            His laughter is like the sound of a jackhammer in a confined room. The last time I had to go through that I had tinnitus for the better part of a year, fortunately my god powers seem to counteract that effect. _And allow you to betray us when we’re almost there? Never._ His fist slams down, exactly where I’d be if I didn’t have a built in jetpack.

            Elsa wasn’t so lucky. She seems to have made due, however. An almost exact replica of the giant, but half his size and without the flesh bits, is standing in his way, holding his fist in its hand, and following up with a punch that sends the giant flying. The ground visibly quakes.

            I try to hurl some fire their way, but without my normal heat, just the jetpack is already taking a lot out of me. I’m just not sure how useful javelins made of ice will be against giant monsters made of ice. _They’re not monsters. Though we should kill them either way. They called me an Aesir._

            Okay, any suggestions? I can’t do any of my normal tricks and I’m doubting my gun will help much either.

_Punch them._

            Well, fuck it, no harm in trying – unless I break my hand. I propel myself, as fast as I can, rocketing toward another of the giants as he tries to enter a fighting stance. It must feel like trying to fight a fly.

            My punch shatters his glass jaw. The fuck? I stare at my hand, the shards of ice spraying into the air. _Drop._ What? I stop the flames and narrowly miss two hands clapping together where I had been. You have the strength of a Jotunn. With your speed and size, you’re effectively a cannonball.

            Nice.

            I fly back up, wishing I could manage a bit more speed, and shoot straight up through the monster’s head, ripping away a chunk of ice and flesh that must have been its brain. I wonder if this would work without Skaldi? I’m still fast, I could use a fire dagger instead of my fists. That could be fun.

            _Wanting to get rid of me already?_

            Our powers don’t really mesh that well, and you belong to my puppy.

            A fist hurtles toward me faster than I’d have thought possible. It strikes my entire body, breaking a few ribs and sending me hurtling backward through the sky. It takes me a few seconds to gather my senses. The mere act of breathing is agony. It must have been more than a few ribs. Feels like all of them.

            Flames spurt out of my hands, but they’re weak and can barely manage to slow me down. I keep trying, sending a blast of fire out through my entire body, but with her ice and just how much I’ve already expended, it’s all but impossible. Normally I’d have near unlimited stores, but we’ve been in a land of constant snow and that jet pack trick seems to take a lot out of me.

            _Take me off._

            The movement is agony, and I wince, the wind still buffeting my face as I reach over and snap off the bracelet. Instantly, I can feel my power returning.

            The wind. I harness it, I am a god of the wind, after all, even if this one feels a bit more Northern, and use it to push back, then hurl flame forward with it. My momentum ceases instantly and I have to correct to not go sailing back.

            Elsa can take care of herself for a minute, I need to find Skaldi before the snow covers her up. As I fall, I can see a divot in the ground, already half covered up from the unending blizzard. I snatch her up and set her back on my wrist. “You okay?”

            _You didn’t have to come back for me._

Don’t take it personally. Jasmine would never forgive me.

_I appreciate it._

            This mean you’re going to start playing nice?

            _I’m trying. I do understand that you two both want what’s best for Jasmine as well, but can you forgive me for being a bit protective when she falls in with the mafia?_

I felt about the same way for a long time, so no, but we love her.

            _I know you do._

            Ready to help me save Elsa?

            She sighs dramatically. _If we must._

            It takes a bit longer to make it back than it did flying through the air off of a giant’s punch, but by the time I’m back, I can breathe without hurting anymore. Though Elsa does seem to be managing just fine on her own. Maybe I should take a break.

            Three of her pint-sized giants are going toe to toe against two of the normal-sized ones. I don’t actually see her anywhere though. Maybe she’s inside one of her creatures? Another earthquake rocks the ground as the biggest frost giant I’ve seen yet slams down behind me.

            Smirking, with her sword shimmering with bits of ice and giant blood, Elsa lands on her feet, flinging the blood from her weapon. She spent a week practicing that move after she showed Jasmine Kill Bill for the first time, but I do have to admit, it’s pretty damn hot. “Hey, honey, you okay?” she asks, grinning broadly and cockily as she walks over. “I was worried when I hadn’t seen you for a bit.”

            “Got punched. I’m fine now.”

            “Which one?” She looks toward her giants as they duck and weave around the attacks of the bigger creatures, raining blows like thunder upon them, the sounds filling the mountain range. “I can make an example of it.”

            “It doesn’t matter. Are there any more?”

            She shrugs. “If there are, I haven’t seen them. Want to kill them?”

            “Your toys can do the work.”

            “Wow, is the don actually taking a break? I didn’t think you even knew how to rest.”

            “I do. Normally I just do so when I have you tied up in the other room.”

            “So that’s why I’ve never seen it.” She wipes the blade off on the snow for good measure before sheathing it. “Any idea what that was all about? I don’t speak whatever that language was.”

            “Yeah, they think we’re Norse gods.”

            “The dicks.”

            “Skaldi’s sentiments exactly.”

            “Brendan, Bruce, Jackie, hurry it up and make it hurt.”

            I look from the snow monsters back to her. “You named them?”

            “Of course. The big one is Brendan, the one with the chin is Bruce, and the fast one is Jackie.” She pointed at each one as she went, but they all still looked exactly alike.

            Both of the remaining Jotunn fall simultaneously and Elsa’s new friends grin at her before promptly melting down. “I’m gonna have to remember them. They were fun.”

            “When would you ever have a use for giants?”

            “If we ever move.”  
            I have to give her that one. That would be really convenient. “Elsa, would you mind taking Skaldi?” _Again?_

            “Any reason?” She looks worried, I suppose I can hardly blame her, though I’m not sure if it’s because she’s going to be stuck with her or because she thinks something prompted this.

            “I can’t use my full powers like this. I had to take her off in order to not just go sailing into a mountain. She works fine for you and you can have the super strength in addition to extra ice powers, instead of just having weak everything else. She’s even promised to play nice with you.” _I didn’t think you meant having to be in her again._ I roll my eyes. Be nice to my property. “I just need to be able to fight properly if we’re to rescue Jasmine.”

            Gritting her teeth, she nods. “Fine. Whatever you say, Mistress.”

            “It’s not an order, don’t give me that.”

            “I just really don’t want to.”

            “Please?” I don’t pout or lower myself in any other such way, but she can still hear how badly I need this.

            She nods again and holds out her hand. I pop Skaldi off and hand her over. “You gonna keep quiet this time?” she asks. “Of course not. Yeah, fine, I forgive you. I know. I get it. Yeah.” She shrugs and looks to me for any input.

            “Let’s go rescue our puppy.”

            We have to climb over the dead mountains in our path, and can’t ski as easily after so much of the snow has been shaken loose, but we continue on, as determined as ever. “Are you tired?” I ask, after a few more hours of walking.

            She stays silent. Between her pride and her desperation to rescue our love, I’m not at all surprised. She hates admitting weakness, but the lack of an answer is as good as screaming yes. “Next place we find, let’s try to get some rest.”

            “I could make us an igloo if you’re tired.” Her reply comes the second I finish my words. She must really be exhausted. I won’t make her suffer, not right now. She can keep her pride. I’m pretty spent anyway.

            “I am. Let’s just try to rest for a few hours. I’ll set an alarm, and we can head back out first thing.”

            “Yeah.” An igloo appears before her, just as promised. “You’re welcome to make a fire inside if you need, I took the chance to learn how these things work.”

            “Because you had a sleepy puppy waiting in line to buy you a Kimber.”

            “I told her to just go home.”

            “You know her better than that.”

            She smiles, faintly, treasuring the memory.

            “We will find her.” I take Elsa’s hand and lead her inside the structure, holding her in my arms. She doesn’t even make a show of resisting my guidance. “You don’t need to worry. She’ll be back, running around and yipping, trying to keep us happy, before you even know it.”

            “I hope you’re right.”

            “Am I ever not?”

            She lays her head on my chest and I run my fingers through her shoulder-length blonde hair. I do love it when she actually lets herself be vulnerable. “Just a short nap,” she murmurs, already half-asleep.

            “Okay.” I set an alarm for four hours from now and lean back, slowly, keeping her head in place as I rest against the snow, letting my powers keep me warm. Her arm flops over me, her breathing slowed. I hold this beautiful sleeping woman in my arms and let the last two days of exhaustion fall away. Within seconds, I’m out too.


	8. The Punishette Issue 1

I wake up in the bed of a dead Nazi. He's not here, at least. His body is rotting – do things rot in Hel? Either way, his body is a few dozen yards up that hill, along with all of his friends. I can't say they didn't deserve it, they were Nazis, but I still can't believe I did this. Plus I killed that other guy too. Maybe I really am just a mafiosa now.

I shake my head. We're all already dead and I have to get back to Anna and Elsa. If this is what I have to become to do it, then it's worth it. I'm not willing to be without them. I just can't.

Loading up on food and supplies, I make my way through the house. A tactical belt found in one of their drawers, along with a left-handed holster from up the hill lets me carry two pistols in addition to my new spear. Watching my reflection in the mirror, I practice drawing the guns. I've only had to use a holster a few times before and it takes some getting used to.

After a few tries, I can manage the right pistol just fine, but I can't manage to grab the left pistol with any degree of fluidity. Trying to draw it is sluggish and painful and actually aiming it seems impossible if I'm not trying to shoot something somewhere around my feet. Damn bullet hole.

The bandages are redder than they had been when I woke up. I must've reopened the wound. Once I've replaced the bandages, Gungnir flies back to my hand and I head out the door, the bag on my back bumping against me as I walk. Music just feels wrong at this point. I know Elsa could do it and she's killed a lot more people than I have, but she can handle that so much better. She's basically a 90s comic anti-hero.

I tried so hard to not be that. I wanted to be the Spider-man to her Venom, but instead it's like I'm Anti-Venom at best, but probably more of a lethal protector.

Right. Because I was protecting people. Of course I was. Who knows how many people that barbecue could've killed? They were eating bratwurst, and you only eat bratwurst before a murder.

Even though I was being sarcastic, this only makes me feel worse. I did eat some bratwurst and kill some people. Maybe it's true.

Yeah, it had to be. They were Nazis. I might not be the hero that I wanted to be, at least not without Skaldi, but it's not like I was killing innocents. I had to be keeping people safe. They were honest to goodness Nazis from World War 2 Germany. I was just doing my duty as an American. I had to fight them for the greater good.

The greater good. I really do sound like an anti-hero. The image of me in the mirror, new scars to add to my nose, guns on either side, my hair pulled back in a sharp pony tail, making my face look all the narrower, my swollen eyes having gone down to just a black eye. I looked like an Image comic character or something. Or maybe just a really dark DC or Marvel character. Like I could be The Red Hood, or Cable.

My left hand rests on my hip. Two pistols and a bad eye, maybe I'm Jonah Hex. Not quite a super hero, but at least I get to time travel. I'm a cowboy and I'm going to come and bring justice to this town. Wait, no! I know! The two guns and a spear, it's like I have an arsenal – not that I'm Arsenal – I've got it. The edgiest anti-hero that even Elsa loves. She watched through the whole series with me. I'm The Punisher.

I can imagine wearing that skull. It's perfect. Plus this way I don't have to eat people like if I was Lethal Protector Venom. And I get a grave stone, which I might already have back in Midgard, so between that and the guns, I'm basically there. I just need a no nonsense attitude. I'm grizzled, hard, the kind of woman who has no pity for criminals or Nazis and just shoots them without thinking about it.

They had it coming.

They only had themselves to blame.

Wait.

The hills fall away as I, the fearsome avenger of wrongs, continue across them, spear in hand and my gun at the ready, watching for any criminal scum. Rather than another set of woods or mountains, it seems to grow flatter and I can smell salt. A few gulls call out from the sky as they circle above, looking around. I found a coast.

Is that a good thing?

I know that one can apparently take a ship out of Hel, but would it get me any closer to New York, or have I been heading the wrong way? I need to find out. Maybe there's someone here I can ask – I mean interrogate. Some other scumbag hiding out around here – maybe another fascist. I'll let my guns do the talking. And also my mouth, because if I don't make sure that they realize I'm asking where the exit is, then my guns won't get any useful answers.

For a few hours, I walk up the coast, the sand crunching under my boots. Speaking of, I should probably change my outfit. Anti-heroes wear leather jackets and jeans, not belly dancer super hero outfits. I should've grabbed one from that SS officer. Dang. Damn!

The waves splash against the sand, their sound a calming and not at all badass soundtrack. At least it's pretty. The sun, or what passes for it, is starting to set across the water, and it gives the world a nice orange tint. The limited color pallet adds to the Frank Millerness of my life.

Just before I can find a rooftop to perch on while I narrate my life and stare out over a gloomy city, I smell something cooking. Someone's roasting meat nearby. Maybe they can give me directions. I mean, I'll beat some answers out of them!

The smell seems to be coming from a house a little in from the shore, which looks like something straight out of Downton Abbey. Anna made me watch it, I'm a badass now and would absolutely not watch that kind of thing otherwise. Cause I'm The Punisher. I narrow my eyes, looking as threatening as I can while I head toward it.

As soon as I knock on the door I realize that I should've kicked it down instead. Then I could've drawn a pistol and held the person at gunpoint and gotten information that way. Before I have the chance to try a different tact, the door opens and a man around my height, with darker skin, and only wearing black trousers, beams out at me. He says something that I can't understand.

I try replying in Old Norse. His smile falters.

His response is a little more intelligible. It definitely shares some words with Old Norse, but not enough that I have any clue what he's saying. Getting those directions is not going to be as easy as I thought it was going to be.

Well his little villa looks English, so let's give this one last try. "Sorry, I have no idea what you said."

His face lights up again and he pulls me into a tight hug. "English! Perfect. Oh, it's so good to see another Persian here."

"I'm not –"

"Please, come inside. I was just finishing making dinner. You're more than welcome to join me." He steps back, waving toward a table with a roast and a few other dishes on it. "I'll only be a minute."

We sit across from each other at the small table, with him now wearing a white shirt and a second plate having been provided for me. "Tell me," he says, shoveling some pastries onto his plate, "What year did you die?"

That's still such a weird question. I take a bite of a jelly-filled pastry and grab a slice of the roast beef. "2019."

He chokes on his roast, coughing up a bit of meat into a napkin. "Really? It's been that long? Wow. Almost two hundred years."

"So you've been here for a while. Would you happen to know the way out?"

"Same way we all came of course. What a silly question." He chuckles, managing to collect himself as he has another bite of roast.

"And that would be?"

He waves his hand in the direction I came from. "Back up the mountain and across the bridge. Though of course I doubt Modgudr will let you out of here." His eyes fall on the spear that I've propped up against the wall, near enough that it can fly to my hand in an instant. "Though with that weapon you might stand a chance against her. Tell me, what would a beautiful girl like you need back there? I was a sultan in life and I'm sure I can offer you far more than any man who could be mourning you."

"I'm gay."

"I'm so pleased to hear that. So forthright as well. If you're so gay at my offer, then I'm quite gay to have you stay here."

"What?"

He stares at me. "Come, be my queen."

Where was he when I thought I was straight? Oh, right, he was dead. And a bit of a creep. "If you're a sultan, why are you speaking English, and why would all of this look Victorian? I get that England kind of invaded everyplace else, but that doesn't make any sense. The Nazis had German looking houses."

"I spent a good while in England. Oxford, of course."

"But other people had castles. Wouldn't you get a palace if you were a sultan? It doesn't seem like it's giving everyone their college houses, it's making their life normal." It's why Grendel was still living in a cave in a lake and why that crazy asshole was still in a castle. This just doesn't add up.

He offers an unconvincing smile.

"Who are you, really? I never did catch your name."

"Nor I yours. I do believe it would be polite to introduce yourself before you ask mine."

The spear flies into my hand. "Who are you?" I bellow, glaring at him across the table and the small feast. I want to have another pastry, but I think that it would severely diminish how intimidating I look, so it can wait until after I kill him.

He holds his hands up, that smile still there. "My name's Al. I suppose I was something of a thief, it's just not how I'd prefer to introduce myself to a beautiful woman."

"Right. And a Persian thief ended up in Victorian England?"

"Oh, I stole from the wrong people. I'm sure you know how it is –" he looks me up and down, "Well, maybe not." What's that supposed to mean? I'm a hardened criminal! "So I left the country, went all over the world, ended up in England. It was a nice place. I spent a good few years there before I had to leave again."

"Of course you did."

"Mind setting that spear back down? I promise, I'm no threat."

"I think it's good where it is," I growl, trying to sound as gravelly as I can manage. "So how'd you end up in the Norse afterlife? We are in Hel after all, and that hardly matches your story. Did you convert?"

"Oh, now that is an interesting story. May I have a sip of my tea so that I may tell it?"

I nod, but keep the spear ready.

He drains half the cup and turns back to me, his smile more convincing. "Well I was in the kingdom of Norway. This noble had found some very interesting items from antiquity, that I intended to relieve him of. I already had a buyer back in England, and with the money I'd be able to start a new identity there and not have to worry about when I'd next have to go on the run."

"So because you stole something in Norway you ended up in Hel? That doesn't make any sense."

His teeth flash in a playful grin. "Then let me tell the story, why don't you? I've always thought I had a knack for it. Though of course I'd like to know that I'll live. Maybe I should leave off the rest of the story until after dinner."

I set the spear down. I do want to eat the food before it goes cold. "Tell me what happened and I probably won't kill you."

"So reassuring." Taking a bite of his roast, he leans back, staring off as he recollects the tale. "Well, one of the artifacts was interesting. When I touched it, a djinni started talking to me – at least that's what I called her at the time."

"What was it? A lamp?" I roll my eyes. The fucker thinks he's Scheherazade.

"No. It was a bracelet."

My mouth drops. Wait. He doesn't mean.

"As soon as I touched it I heard a voice in my head. She said her name was Skaldi. She taught me so much, and she gave me so much power. I'll admit, it made me a much better thief, and I guess it's why I ended up here. She was a Jotun and it's tough to doubt a religion you've seen firsthand."

"You knew Skaldi? You – you were her previous wielder?" Skaldi helped out a thief? Where does she get off being mean to Elsa and Anna for being mobsters?

He blinks, staring at me. "What do you mean?"

"I found that same bracelet. My father had taken me to a museum, he was considering buying some art from their new display, and it was like I could feel her calling to me. We've been inseparable ever since. After two and a half years, it's so strange not having her voice in my head."

He blows out his breath, flashing the biggest grin I've ever seen. "By all of life's twists and turns, I never did expect this. So she's okay? The bracelet didn't break? I'd been so worried. I never knew what happened to her. She just wasn't with me when I ended up here. I'd assumed she was dead – though I suppose then she would be here."

I shake my head. "No. I mean yes. She's fine. She's not dead. At least she wasn't when I died."

"Then maybe that's the problem. She can't be here."

"Yeah. Maybe." I nod, taking a bite of the incredibly delicious beef. I hadn't even realized that I'd been afraid of that. I knew she was gone, but I also knew that I was going back home. I just assumed she'd be there waiting for me. Now that I know for a fact that she will be, I feel so much better.

"It's a shame we can't see her again."

"I will."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm leaving. I'll fight anyone in my path, including that bridgekeeper you're so afraid of." I try to flex as I bring the fork to my mouth, and barely manage to avoid dropping the meat on my lap in the process. "I have to get back to my girlfriends. And to Skaldi." Thinking of the three of them almost hurts. They're still so far away, but I'll do it, I'll return to them, no matter what it takes. "So you said it's just up that mountain?" I point off to the west, where I'd come from. I can't believe I picked the wrong way.

"Do you not remember crossing the bridge? You should know that's the way."

I shrug. "I didn't exactly cross it."

"What?"

"It doesn't matter. Thank you for the directions." I take a few more bites of the food and start to stand. I don't have the time to waste here. "I should leave."

"Wait. Please. At least stay the night here. It's been so long since I had anyone I could actually talk to."

"I already told you I'm gay."

"I still don't understand what that would have to do with anything."

Oh. Right. He's from the 1800s. I'm dumb. "I'm into women, not men. I have two I have to get back to. Well three, but I'm not dating Skaldi."

"Ohhhhh." Understanding dawns on his face, as well as a look of embarrassment. "So you're a shield-maiden, as Skaldi would say. Then please forgive me. You're still welcome to stay the night though. This place can be very dangerous in the dark. Plenty of people around here that love to hurt others."

I shake my head. "I already took care of the Nazis, and I don't have time to spare, I've been going the wrong way for the past three days. They miss me, and I'm not going to just let them wait any longer than they have to."

"All right, get back to your harem. I'll be here if you survive your fight with the bridgekeeper."

Gungnir flies into my hand as I stand up. At the door, I turn back. "Can I take some of those pastries with me?"

Laughing, he stuffs them into a bag for me. "Of course. I wish you safe travels. I'm sorry I couldn't convince you to stay the night."

"Thank you. I hope you'll have a bit less trouble now that there aren't crazy people with guns near you."

"Oh! That's who you meant. The guys in the leather jackets and the funny looking suspenders."

"Yeah."

"Thank you. They've been a total nuisance the last few decades. Maybe you really do have what it takes to get past Modgudr if you took them all out. I must have underestimated you. Maybe Skaldi finally found a worthy wielder."

"I'd like to think so."

"It does get very cold. Could I at least convince you to wait long enough for me to make you some hot chocolate?"

I falter, my hand already on the doorknob. "Okay, fine, but I'm leaving as soon as that's done." I sit back down and have some more of the roast. A full stomach is probably a good idea anyway.


	9. The Borealis and The Fire Queen Issue 3

            I wake up to find Anna’s arms still around me. With some difficulty, I manage to pry myself free from the tiny sleeping dom/don and rise to my feet, stretching my arms out to the strange unearthly sky. We don’t tend to see the stars too well from our apartment in New York, but seeing these new giant ones is still a little disconcerting.

            _Are you ready to go_?

            Fuck, Skaldi, let a girl go find someplace to pee in peace.

            _She’s been down here for days! Unlike your peaceful time in the Elyssium Fields, we have no idea what might be happening to her and if she dies here then she’s dead for good._

            She can look after herself. Anna and I may be immortal killing machines, but we’re still nominally human. We need to sleep, eat, and occasionally even answer nature’s call, so shut up while I find a place or I’ll give you back to Anna to melt.

            A few minutes later, I wake up Anna and offer her some pound cake that Lisa had made. We haven’t taken the time to eat a proper meal in quite a while, and at this point we probably need it. All of this fighting even starts to wear on me eventually.

            “Morning,” she mutters, yawning as she snatches the cake from my hand. “You sure carbs are the best option right now? The protein from the nuts and jerky are a lot better for another full day of adventuring.”

            I swipe the cake back from her. “Well if that’s how you feel, I’ll have the cake all to myself.”

            Her eyes narrow. “You have five seconds to hand that back or I’ll spank you so hard that you won’t be able to sit down.”

            “I heal.”

            “Elsa.” The word is clipped, and her tone promises that she’ll make sure it hurts well past what I can heal.

            I hand the slice of cake back.

            “Good girl.” Sitting up, she takes a bite of the cake. “I swear, no one can bake like Lisa. Do you see what we would have lost if you murdered Pete?”

            “You’re right. I hadn’t taken baked goods into consideration when I was planning to kill the man who practically raised me. I don’t know how it didn’t occur to me.”

            “At least you’ve learned.” Giving me a quick peck on the cheek, she returns to her meal. “Do try to eat something else too. We have a long day ahead of us. We have to find that puppy before she gets herself into any more trouble.”

            “Cake and jerky is a weird breakfast.”

            “Then have some pistachios, and maybe some bananas. I think I saw a few in my bag.”

            “I guess they are safe to eat now,” I say, grabbing the fruit from her pack. I take a banana, a handful of nuts, and at least a pound of pound cake. That’s still a balanced meal, right?

            _You’re an animal._

            No, you’re thinking of Jasmine.

            Once Anna is fully awake and ready to go, and has brushed a crumb I missed from my mouth, we set out back down the mountain. _It shouldn’t be much further. Maybe a day’s walk at your top speed before we reach Hel proper. I’ve never made the trek myself, but I once had a woman in my lap who had._

            Skaldi, you’re gay?

            _No, she’d just castrated herself with a goat. It was a strange wedding._

            What?

            _Suffice to say that you’re not the first like you I’ve known._

            Trans women or badass warrior gods?

            _One and the same._

            Wow, that’s the most positive thing about me I’ve heard from you.

            _If you knew her, you wouldn’t take it as a compliment. But hold, who’s that?_

            I shield my eyes to peer through the blizzard. “Anna, mind doing something about the snow?”

            A bubble of heat suddenly evaporates the snow for a good fifteen feet in every direction disappear, causing us to drop down a couple of feet and stand in a newly formed river. “You know you can control snow. Why don’t you do anything about it?”

            “Can I?”

            _Between you and me? Perhaps. But I’d rather not make things any easier for the intruder. I still can’t quite tell who it is._

            Before us, apparently unfazed by the weather, his hands at the weapons on his hips, stands the figure of a man in a heavy cloak, a hood concealing his face from both observation and the flurry of snow. Let’s try the opposite. With a twitch of my hand, I force the wind and a mass of snowflakes forward, smacking him in the face with it and knocking the hood off. I’m great at subtlety.

            “I see you’ve found me,” he says, staring straight at me through the newly-amplified blizzard.

            “You’re not who we’re looking for,” Anna explains. “So we apologize for the weather, but we’ve business with someone else and an appointment that we must keep.” She attempts to walk past him, but he grabs her wrist, stopping her cold. “Take your hand off me.”

            “I’m afraid I can’t let you past. My new lady would not approve of that. Ragnarok nears, and Lady Hel wants all of her forces at the ready.”

            Her arm catches fire and he leaps back, his palm red and steaming. “Well, when you put it like that, I suppose we can manage a slight delay.” Daggers of fire appear in her hands as she leaps at him. She’s so sexy when she really gets into the violence.

            He brings up a small dart, tipped with something green, tinged with the dark brown of dried blood. With just the tiny shaft, he manages to block both weapons, holding them in place over his head. His burnt hand catches snow out of the air to ease the pain. “I don’t know who you are, but I’ll allow none to take what is Hel’s.”

            She kicks him.

            He leaps back, narrowly dodging the strike. Who is this fucker?

            _I know him. He was at my wedding, laughing away, right alongside me at Loki’s show. But he was blind. That’s Hodr, brother of Thor and Tyr. What has happened in my absence?_

            “Hodor, how about you go look for Bran and let us find our pet.”

            He turns to me, dark green eyes burrowing into me. Safe to say he’s not blind anymore. In a quick fluid motion, he sends the dart flying toward me. I barely manage to catch it, scarcely an inch from my right eye. I snap the little twig in half.

            Undeterred, he grabs the weapon from his right side with his left hand and holds up another weapon, a larger clone of the precious dart. Before I have the chance to quip, he crosses the half dozen yards between us and takes a swing at my face.

            My forearm stings as I block the blow with an ice gauntlet and answer it with a short jab to his gut. He’s not wearing armor.

            He starts to topple over but uses the momentum to drop down, sweeping my legs out from under me. A ringing sounds in my ears as my head knocks against the bottom of the river I’d made a minute ago. At least most of the water’s already gone.

            I clamber back up to my feet and have to catch a dart as it hurtles toward my throat. Fucker just doesn’t stop. “Okay, dickhead.” I’m still seeing stars, my snarking is not up to its normal standards. I break the dart in my hands. “You’re out of weapons now. How about you just let us past and we can forget about this whole thing.”

            “I will rest when you’ve joined Hel’s ranks.”

            “We’re Greek gods,” Anna points out. “We’d just go back to Hades if you killed us. Your Mistress would gain nothing. But if you let us find our pet, there’s a very good chance we’ll have the opportunity to kill a whole bunch of more gods, and she can have them.”

            “Gods do seem to enjoy attacking us.” Actually, now that I think about it, it’s just servants of gods that like attacking us. Hera didn’t attack me, Hans did. Now two of Hel’s henchpeople have attacked us. At least that one Greek goddess seems intent on attacking us because Anna lied to her, so we have that going for us. _Modgudr was a goddess in her own right. Don't underestimate your ability to piss us off, you're great at making enemies of gods._

            “Do you think me a fool?” he snaps. “You’d kill them in combat, they’d go to the halls in Asgard.”

            _He’s here. No god that falls goes to Valhalla and he knows it._

            “That’s not how it works. Same reason you’re here. Any Aesir that dies goes to Hel, so if we can just piss off two gods, then you and your Mistress are already better off than you were before we took Jasmine,” I offer, rubbing where the bruise would be on the back of my head if I hadn’t already healed. It still feels like it should hurt.

            Anna looks impressed for a second before she realizes that it’s Skaldi. Thanks. Like I can’t come up with anything on my own. _You can’t._ Fuck you too, Skaldi.

            He smirks, staring between the two of us. That’s not the face of someone considering a deal, that’s someone sizing up their opponents. I don’t give him the chance to act. Tiny snowmen seize his feet, grabbing him from all over, holding him in place. “What is this?” he asks, jabbing at them with his fists. Bet he wishes he hadn’t thrown away both of his weapons now.

            The sound of a gunshot echoes throughout the mountains. Snow shifts around us, threatening an avalanche, but it seems to think better of it, as nothing more happens.

            Blood dyes the snow as Hodr falls over, a hole showing clear through his head. Anna takes a few steps toward him as she places the gun back in her bag. “I know that seemed a bit excessive, but I was growing so tired of his bullshit. I would have never forgiven myself if we had our asses kicked by a blind man. That was Hodr, correct? You weren’t simply making a ridiculous Game of Thrones joke.”

            “Skaldi said he was.”

            “It makes sense. Especially with the mistletoe darts. What’s next? Are we going to run into Baldur?”

            “Like the old computer games?”

            “You have the strangest set of knowledge, Elsa. You have been together with a Norse powered woman for over a year, and had a Norse goddess in your head for at least the past day, how have you not bothered to learn anything?”

            “I learned how to kill them.”

            She stares at me for a long beat before rolling her eyes. “If you’ll notice, I’m the only one here who’s killed any gods.”

            “I killed that giant lady on the bridge.”

_‘Tis true. You slew a Jotun, a feat far more formidable than the slaying of a single Aesir. They are a weak and pitiful people._

Having you on my side feels weird.

            _The feeling is mutual._

            “Fine, you killed one god, but –”

            “If you even think about trying to use me as evidence of your god-killing prowess, then you might just have to do it again.”

            Her face falls and her gaze joins it, trailing down to her feet, and the puddle of blood. “I wasn’t going to, Elsa. I’m sorry I did yesterday, I wasn’t thinking.”

            “Then what were you going to say?” I spit back.

            “I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

            Grumbling, I stomp off. I feel like a petulant child. I can handle her teasing me for not knowing stuff that I should really know by now. At this point I’m just refusing to learn more out of stubbornness, because I haven’t for so long. Being reminded of that day – of seeing her face staring back at me as her flaming hand shoved through my chest and ripped out my heart – that’s simply too much for me. It took a long time for me to be mostly over it, and her bringing it up like it was an old joke the other day was just a bit much.

            _So you do have feelings._

            Not now.

            _I was with you when she made the joke, you seemed far less concerned than you do now. It’s strange seeing just how much it gets to you. I’m used to you being this uncaring, largely terrible figure who just looms over my dear Jasmine._

            Sounds like someone has a crush. I can hear Anna calling for me, but I’m not ready to talk to her yet. I pick up pace, snowboarding on an icy path down the mountain. She’ll catch up eventually, but it can wait a bit.

            _I do not have a crush. She’s like a daughter to me._

            Okay, I can kinda see how it’d be weird watching your daughter be treated like a dog while she has kinky sex.

            _Only kind of?_

            I’ve never had a kid. I’m just assuming.

            _You can be truly vile._

            Gee, it’s like I’m a hitman or something.

            _But when you act human, you’re almost likable. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen your facade break down as it has now. Even from your own head, you tend to hide all of your feelings._

            I shrug as I hop off the board, midway up the next mountain. “I had to. Try being the trans daughter of the head of a crime family. If I wanted to eat, let alone to actually be able to stick around and transition, then I had to show that even as a woman, I could be twice the man any other son could be. If I couldn’t cut myself off, shut myself down, and be the cold-blooded killer you hate so much, then I’d have been tossed out on the street.

            _I know a thing or two about terrible parents._

            You do? I didn’t even realize you had parents? What made them so terrible?

            _Well, it was my father’s title for one thing. Even in poems, which take their name from me, he’s still known as ‘Thjazi, the terrible giant.’ It wasn’t wrong, but it was a good many centuries before I could view him as anything but my father – cut down far too early by the Aesir._

Is that why you hate the Aesir?

            _No. I forgave them for that. They gave me a husband, a good show, and placed my father’s eyes in the sky. It’s strange not being able to see them from here. I hate the Aesir because they’re cowards intent on their own destruction. And, I suppose, because my father raised me to believe that they were just that._

Is he why you’re a bitch?

            She chuckles, the light laughter ringing inside my skull. _Perhaps. Mayhaps I only hate you because I understand you so._

            “You hate me? Wow, I figured it was dislike at most.”

            _It’s growing to a begrudging fondness if that makes you feel any better._

            “The feeling’s mutual.”

            “Elsa, would you wait up?!” Anna calls out, dropping in from the sky to settle in front of me. “I’m sorry. I know how sensitive you are about it. I think it’s just on my mind because we’re basically repeating the whole thing. A woman I love, with ice powers, is killed by fire, and I have to go through the relevant afterlife to bring her back. It’s hard not to think of the last time it happened – and just how much more it was my fault. It’s easier to make jokes about it than it is to deal with the idea that I killed the woman I love. A woman. My wife.”

            I grab her by the hand, pulling her flush against me, and kiss her softly before pulling away and staring into those fiery eyes. “You didn’t kill me. Notos was just using your body. We also didn’t kill Jasmine. Though we did pre-emptively avenge her. Maybe we can find whatever afterlife that asshole went to and kill him again.”

            “Maybe.” She laughs, but it sounds hollow. “Please forgive me.”

            “There’s nothing to forgive. It’s just a sore spot for me.”

            Her hand falls to my chest, the literal sore spot. I can almost feel it. At least it was a quick death. “I love you.”

            “I love you too, Anna.”

            She leans against me, her head nestling between my breasts, or at least it would be if I wasn’t wearing armor. “You’re sure you’re okay?”

            “Yeah, I just needed a minute.”

            She nods, but doesn’t attempt to move away.

            I run my fingers through her hair. I don’t know how I ever manage to be mad at her. She’s just too beautiful, it’s a little offensive. It used to actually really bother me, but I don’t have those image issues anymore.

            After a long few minutes in each other’s arms, we climb up the rest of the mountain. Before us is the most wonderful sight we’ve seen in days.

            “It’s beautiful,” Anna says.

            _So this is Hel._

            What had seemed like endless mountains finally halts just another mile or so away. There’s only a few more like this, then there’s the summit of another, even taller mountain, but past it, it all drops off, and it looks like there’s a whole world stretching out below us. If that really is where Jasmine is, then we’re so much closer.

            “We’re almost there.”

            I nod. “As long as that guy who worshiped the goddess we killed was both right and honest.

            “He didn’t know we’d already killed her.”

            “He might’ve.”

            Sighing, she turns away from the view, back to me. “It’s the only lead we have.”

            _She has to be there._

            I take her hand in mine. “Then let’s find another lead.” We could just fly down there with her power, but that won’t help find Jasmine. As loathe as I am to resort to any option that isn’t over the top violence, we need to go find some answers, and soaring over everyone won’t solve that. So, giant mountain it is.


	10. The Punishette Issue 2

            I know exactly where I have to go. I can’t believe I wasted two days going in the wrong direction, but it’s fine, I’ll manage. I just have to get past Grendel again.

            Kicking open the Nazi door, I walk inside. This isn’t the house with all of the decaying corpses in it, so it only smells like racism and sauerkraut. I’d loaded up before, but I was expecting a lot of travel, not fighting a big scary monster. I only made it out the last time because I was lucky, this time I have to be prepared.

            If this really is Gungnir, it should be able to pierce his flesh. It’s certainly no mortal weapon. As I am now The Punisher – maybe Punishette so Marvel doesn’t sue, but we are criminals – I have to kill that horrifying thing. Maybe I can prevent more people from being eaten by it.

            Yeah. I’m still a hero, I’ll be keeping the citizens of Helheim safe! I pick up a grenade by its handle, staring at the shaft as I try to figure out how to throw it. Maybe that’s not the best plan.

            Setting it back down, I go through the rest of their supplies. A few more clips and some more food fill my pack to the point I’m worried I may lose some of it. There just has to be something else. Maybe a rifle? Or a bazooka! Did Nazis have bazookas?  
            Oh. My eyes settle on a strange device on a wall in their closet. I don’t know why they had it, or maybe it just came with them like the houses, but even I know what that metallic tube attached to that backpack means. I’m grinning so wide my cheeks hurt. Elsa is gonna be so jealous!

            My bag falls to the ground and I strap the new device to my back. It’s heavier than I’d expected. But I’m a badass now, I can definitely manage. I step toward the stares, eager to try out the weapon before my big fight with Grendel. Beowulf, eat your heart out.

            Outside, I take a few steps away from the house and point the nozzle up, over the house where the two in the trenchcoats had lived. My shoulder screams in pain, but I manage to hold it up. Jesus, I miss Skaldi, just going down the stairs already has me winded. This thing has to weigh at least a hundred pounds. As I pull the trigger, I hear the gas in the backpack shoot forward. In an instant, a massive jet of flame shoots out, stinking horribly of gasoline.

            Holy shit.

            I love it!

            I sag onto the ground, exhausted just from hauling it down here. The pain in my shoulder isn’t exactly helping. I wonder if this will work on Grendel? It’s probably a mortal weapon, but it’s also way fancier than anything that that term could’ve referred to. Plus it worked in Buffy.

            I stand back up and pull the trigger again, watching as the stream of flames pours out before me, shining over the hilltops. Okay, I can stop now. A little bit of grass seems to be on fire, but it should be fine. Not like there’s anyone left to worry about these houses, anyway.

            The weapon falls out of my hands, as another burst of pain shoots out from my shoulder, spreading across my entire body. Why does it hurt so much?

            Oh. The entire shoulder of my costume is stained a dark red. I must’ve reopened my injury. Poop.

            I shrug the pack off of my uninjured shoulder, so I won’t have to lug it back inside, and my vision goes white as the left strap digs into the bullet holes. When I manage to blink the world back into existence, I find myself on my knees. I reach my right hand out and Gungnir flies to me. It only takes a few seconds to saw through the nylon strap with the weapon’s blade, and the backpack falls off, slamming onto my heel. Ow. I’m okay. But ow.

            I have to look around for a bit, as apparently these Nazis didn’t keep their medical supplies in the same place. Can’t they all just be the same? I’d rather think of them as robots. In the second bedroom, I manage to find a box of supplies and I try to tear my shirt off, only for the chainmail to stop me.

            My scream fills the room as I pull it over my head, having to peel it off my arm as I go, and toss it onto the floor. Once I clean and disinfect the wound, it still actually looks worse than it did two days ago. I’m gonna have to sew it shut, aren’t I? I’ve done it a couple times before, but I hate it so much.

            I stuff some bandages in my mouth and bite down on them as I dip the needle into the alcohol. At least they had that.

            I notice the bottle of Vicodin and drop the bandages into my lap. With a beer from my bag, I take two of the pills before I replace the gag. At least my Mistresses got me used to using one. My muffled chuckle is cut off as the needle passes through my skin. Tears well up in my eyes.

            I don’t know if it takes me a couple minutes or a couple hours, but I manage to sew up both of the small holes, and wrap my shoulder in a new clean bandage. I close up the kit and stuff it into my already overflowing bag. It’s starting to seem like I may need it.

            Grabbing an oversized button-up shirt from one of the racist closets, I button it up the best I can, before finding that I missed a button, and the whole thing is lopsided. Oh, well. That hurt too much to try again.

            With my bag and spear, I run back out of the house, and find that the grass outside has become a small inferno. The smoke fills my lungs, and coughing, I dart down the hill and crest the next one. Behind me, the smoke and flames show, eating away at the hill, and the bodies I’d left there. Damn. I wish I still had Skaldi, then I could put it out easily. As it is, I’m just gonna have to hope that it doesn’t hurt anyone before it manages to go out on its own.

            Burying my conscience like the anti-hero I am, I set back out on my journey, and head back where I came from days ago. The path I took was a little off from here. I know I could try going around, but this way I at least know what to expect.

            Besides, if I can’t even handle Grendel, then how am I supposed to manage breaking out of Hel? Who knows what might be waiting for me up that mountain? My gaze travels up the imposing cliffs on the horizon. It’s largely obscured by fog and distance, but I can just barely manage to see it. It’s probably still a full day’s walk from here, but there’s no time to rest.

            I eat some cold sausage as I walk. It’s nowhere near as good as the cooking from the other night, but it keeps me going on my trek.

            The sun – for lack of a better word – is already dipping down below the horizon as the hills fall away to straight paths and lakes. If I keep going from here, then I’m going to have to fight Grendel in the dark, and that’s a recipe for disaster.

            I should’ve just taken another nap in the racist bed.

            Well, what would Frank Castle do?

            I sit down and pull an apple, some sausage, and a beer from my bag, before reclining against it. He would go when Grendel would least expect, when he had the advantage. Clearly, Grendel hates loud noises, and from what I know he seems to be nocturnal, so he likely has better night vision. I wish I’d brought that grenade, but I still have my phone.

            I make like The Punisher and bivouac. There’s not much of a camp to set up, it’s pretty much just sitting on the ground, but I feel like a soldier if I talk all fancy. Or maybe Frank wouldn’t talk like that. Does he even really sleep?

            No, of course not. I rest my eyes, but I’m alert as ever, prepared to pounce upon any threat that would dare approach in my sleep.

            Time must pass really quickly when you’re completely prepared, as the sun is already up. I guess it’s time.

            I have a breakfast of bread and fruit, washing it down with beer and pills to kill the ache in my should, and sling the bag back onto my back, wincing as it bites into the wound. It was not a comfortable pillow, but it was better than the ground.

            In less than an hour, I find a familiar lake. Pieces of my old shield and spear sit on the other side. This is the place.

            On my phone, I have a few action movies. I wish I had them better memorized, but that’s more of Elsa’s thing. I’m just lucky I remembered that scene from Inglourious Basterds. Muting it, I go through the movies, looking for something with some good explosions.

            Two minutes from this point, where it looks like they’re just talking. That should give me enough time, as long as he’s not too sensitive. Let’s hope I’m that lucky.

            I set my phone on the ground, the volume turned all the way up, and let the movie play as I creep around the lake, as quietly as I can, my spear at the ready. I manage to make it halfway around the lake before a massive boom fills the quiet morning.

            The sound is joined by another, as water splashes everywhere and an imposing, dark-furred humanoid form leaps from the lake, hurtling toward my phone, carrying night with it.

            With a fluid well-practiced motion, I hurl Gungnir in his direction. It sinks right into his ass, before he can attack my phone, and he turns around, baring his fangs.

            “That’s right, Fuckface!” I call. I finally understand why Elsa says that sort of stuff. It just feels so great. No one cares when you call them a criminal, but when you just call them a string of expletives, it seems to get under the skin. Plus you feel like a badass.

            Apparently Grendel understands modern English curses, as he looks pissed. Though that could just be the spear in his rump. I pull the spear back, letting it fly into my hand, and he seems even more upset. It may have just been the spear.

            His paws beat at the ground, thundering as he charges for me, darkening the space between us. I hold my spear out defensively with my right hand. If I could use both, I’d have a bit more reach, but the blade’s long enough that he can still easily impale himself.

            Grendel turns at the last second, pivoting on his hind legs and throwing himself past, turning in mid-air to claw at me with one of his arms. I jump back.

            Into the lake.

            I throw out my hand, tossing Gungnir into him as I reach out with my left and grab onto the bank, pulling myself up. It doesn’t hurt like it should, but it still hurts. My arm feels tingly.

            Come to think of it, I know how fast he is, I should have been able to dodge that attack easily, as heavily as he projected it. Wait. My arm doesn’t hurt that much.

            Shit. That Vicodin and beer I had earlier. That’s a bad combination, isn’t it?

            Apparently, the monster didn’t want to give me time to consider my own stupidity. He’s already charging at me again, and I don’t have a shield. Or a weapon.

            I run to the side, calling my spear to me, ripping it out of his shoulder as it soars back. The pain stops him in his tracks, and he snarls at me, spit showering the ground between us. His eyes burn with an angry red light as they meet mine, his teeth reflecting the mid-day sun.

            “Nice puppy,” I try, holding out my left hand as high as it goes, managing to bring it just above my belly.

            He roars and leaps into the air, far above my head. I barely manage to roll out of the way before he lands with a thud, his weight shaking the ground beneath us. I jab at him with my spear as I try to keep my distance.

            He swipes at it, knocking it out of my grip. It flies back as he lunges, stabbing into his shoulder. He’s almost as beat up as I am now.

            As the weapon returns, I dash forward, jabbing at his face. I don’t know how smart Grendel might be, but he definitely wasn’t expecting that. He only manages to pull away at the last second, and my blade leaves a long gash across his neck and chest.

            One of his paws drags the spear down to the ground, yanking it out of my grip as he charges forward, pinning me to the ground and sinking his teeth into my already injured shoulder.

            I scream over Bruce Willis’s scream from my phone, a few yards away. I don’t recall summoning it back, but the spear is back in my hand, and digging into the thick muscles of his torso. I push up on the spear, trying to shove this monster off of me, but his jaws stay firmly clasped on my shoulder.

            I pull the spear out again, feeling his body press closer against mine, as he pulls back on my flesh, trying to tear it off. The spear sinks in again. Hopefully somewhere near his heart.

            I’m not that lucky. A paw flies at my head, leaving a series of red-hot stings on my cheek.

            Wait! I’ve got it. With some effort, I draw my gun with my left hand and fire off to the side. His teeth finally release me as he jumps in shock, landing right back down on me. I pull the trigger twice more and he dives into the water, the splash drenching me as I try to pull myself back to my feet.

            I take the chance to look at my shoulder and immediately regret it. I’m still in one piece – somewhat – but I’m going to have to treat it soon, and I don’t think he’s going to give me the chance.

            I hate being right. His form rockets out of the water, hurtling toward me. I don’t have the energy to run.

            Gungnir’s blade dips for a moment as I bring it up, but I manage to set it right, bracing it against the ground, so that he impales himself as he lands, only managing to scratch at my chest. I miss my chainmail.

            He swipes at the air as I step back, trying to pull himself toward me. His teeth gnash, my own blood spilling forth from his jaws as water drips off of him. With my right hand, I raise up one of my guns and begin to empty the clip into his open mouth.

            Whimpering, he tries to run away, but he’s impaled himself further on my weapon as he’s driven the handle further into the ground. He only manages to rotate himself halfway, his feet kicking pitifully at the ground as he tries to escape.

            What am I doing?

            I walk around, dropping my weapons and holding my hands up as I meet the terrified black gaze of this creature, the previous anger all but gone. “You just want a quiet life, don’t you?”

            He whimpers, pawing at the magical weapon holding him in place.

            “If I let you go, do you promise to do the same?”

            His eyes meet mine, a strange intelligence behind the fearsome lights.

            “I’m sorry.” I hold my hand out and the weapon snaps free of him, prompting a pitiful mewl of pain as it flies to me. “I don’t want to fight you anymore.” I let the spear fall to the ground. “This isn’t who I am. I’m not The Punisher.”

            He doesn’t seem interested in discussing comics and morality with me, as he bolts back for his lake. It's high school all over again. As I stare out, I can see his dark form going deeper and deeper into the water until it disappears to the back of the lake.

            Rather than tempt a third round, I grab my phone and guns and walk as far as I can as the adrenaline leaves me and the pain in my shoulder begins to grow overwhelming. Just out of sight of the lake, I collapse on the side of the trail, leaning against a tree as I fish out the medical supplies from my bag.

            I’ve been trying to avoid checking out my injury again, but I can’t avoid it at this point. The hamburger meat that passes for my shoulder brings bile up in my throat, but I manage to hold it down.

            I bite down on more bandages as I pour alcohol over the wound. Holy f – Darn, that hurts. There aren’t any antibiotics in the bag, unfortunately, and there’s a good chance I’m going to need them, but for now I just bandage up the wound the best I can and inspect the cuts on my chest. They’re not bad, but this shirt is ruined. I pull it off, leaving me in only a sports bra, with a slight cut at its bottom, as I rub alcohol on the slashes.

            When I’m done, I pull out my phone and put it in selfie mode. The cuts on my cheek are deeper than I was expecting, I can see the muscle, but there’s not a lot I can do. I clean them, and bandage all of my cuts, and have some more of the German food. I’m going to need to hurry up if I don’t want to risk fighting monsters with a fever and an infection. Climbing that mountain is going to be fun.


	11. The Borealis and the Fire Queen, Issue 4

As we approach the tallest mountain I’ve ever seen, we see a few buildings scattered around. They look almost modern. Not at all what one would expect to find at the top of Hel. It’s the closest thing to a town we’ve seen this whole trip. Once we’re closer, we can see just how rundown they look. Everything just seems so decrepit. It’s more like a ghost town than anything else. Where’s John Wayne?

_ I’m not familiar with him. Was he a Norse figure?  _

Yeah. Basically. 

As Skaldi asks me follow up questions, I ignore her and charge on ahead. “Maybe we’ll get lucky and someone here has seen Jasmine.”

“I just hope we haven’t missed her.”

I can’t help but smirk. The idea of Jasmine managing to escape on her own, without our help, makes me so proud of her. I think she could really do it, even without Skaldi. She’s a lot tougher than I ever expected her to be. 

No one answers when I knock on the nearest door. There’s no light inside and I don’t hear any movement. It looks empty. We try the next one and have about the same result. 

Anna runs over to the other side of the little town. We can find out quicker this way, I suppose. 

On the third door, someone finally answers. “Yes?” A woman asks, peering out at me through the half-open door. “Can I help you?”

“Hi.” I throw on my most charming smile, letting my armor vanish to reveal the fitted suit beneath it. Jasmine helped me figure out how to make it work in such a way that I don’t have to strip to wear my armor. I’ve no interest in adding another woman to my roster, but I’ve been told I can be quite smooth. Maybe it’s the suits. I toy with my tie as I lean against the door frame. The only other way I have to get information is shooting people, and there’s an annoying voice in my head that will complain if I murder someone. “We were just on our way through your little town – if that’s what it is – and I was wondering if you’d seen a friend of mine. She’s about yea high,” I hold my hand just below my chin, “dark skin and long black hair, super chipper, probably wearing a belly –” there’s no way some random Norse woman knows what a belly dancer is – “A flowy  blue outfit with really wide legs for the pants.”

She shakes her head. “I’m sorry. We haven’t. Did she die along with you? I was separated from my partner when I died as well. It took me years to find her.”

So she really is gay then. I knew showing off my dapperness was the best plan. I stare down at my feet, and allow a slight nostalgic smile as I think of Jasmine, the silly little puppy trailing behind me as we chased after that goat-man with the flute after he attempted to assault that woman. She loved the super hero stuff so much – loves, we’re bringing her back, I’m not gonna start thinking of her as dead. “How did you manage to find her?” I ask, my voice quivering just the slightest as I look up to meet her eyes.

She’s biting her lip. She’ll tell me absolutely anything now. That worked even better than breaking all of her shit with a baseball bat. “I walked all over Nfilheim, asking everyone I saw, just like you. I thought about trying to ask Hel, but there’s usually such a long wait for that. I didn’t want to go a decade without her, I needed to find her.”

“So you know how it is.”

“I do.” Her fingers run through her hair, and she gestures for me to come inside. “Honey?” She calls back. The place is dark, but there’re a faint light pouring in from the back. “There’s some cute lady here looking for her girlfriend. You haven’t seen a girl in a belly dancer outfit have you? Black hair?”

At the end of the hall a door sits ajar, and she shoves it open, guiding me into a cramped study with a shag rug in the center of the floor, next to a plush recliner. In it sits a woman with her long brown hair up in a braid, wearing glasses, along with leggings and a t-shirt. I’m starting to think they might not be vikings.  _ Whatever gave you that idea? _

“I haven’t,” the woman in the recliner replies. “I’m so sorry.” Her eyes trace over me. It’s the suits. “I went through the same thing.” She turns back to her partner. “Maybe we could help.”

The first woman nods. I should probably learn their names at some point. “I knew you’d say that.”

“Anything you can tell me would be a huge help.” I’m running out of polite phrases. “What are your names, anyway? I’d like to at least know who’s helping me.”

“My name’s Letitia,” the first woman says, “and my beautiful girlfriend here is George.” I’m going to assume it’s short for Georgina. 

“I’m Elsa.”

“A beautiful name for a beautiful woman,” George says. I don’t have time for a three-way and Anna would kill me. At least if I didn’t invite her. But we’re in a hurry. 

“Would you have seen her if she came through?” I ask, trying to drag the conversation back to Jasmine.

They exchange glances. “People don’t come through too often, but it’s not like we were on the lookout for anyone. We could ask around. Generally around half the population are in the bar. It’s free and its food replenishes much more consistently.”

“Plus there’s booze,” Letitia adds.

“Half the population?” I ask. “How many people is that? The place looked pretty abandoned when we came through.”

“We? You came here with someone else?”

Fuck it, I don’t have time to come up with a lie. “Yeah, my other partner. My wife, actually.”

George smirks up at Letitia and I can guess exactly what they’re thinking. 

_ Why do you think they’re as perverted as you? _

Because they are.

“So, anyway –” I try, “What happened here? Why is it so abandoned? Isn’t this the afterlife for everyone who worships the Norse gods? We’ve barely run into anyone.”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but not that many people still worship our gods.” Me included.

“Right, but you’re dead. Shouldn’t every believer who’s ever died be here? Why is this town so small? From what I’ve heard, it’s a pretty major point, being the intersection between –” Come on, Skaldi, what’re the names? “Nfilheim and Hel,” I manage, with her assistance.

“Well, yeah, that’s why we’re so big and have such a nice bar, but there aren’t that many people left. Sure, we all came here, except for the warriors, but lots died. I suppose that’s the downside of so many of us worshiping war gods. We both worship Freyja, so I’d like to think we’re not as bad, but there are all those skinheads who came here and are pissed that they didn’t end up in Valhalla, and there are plenty of old vikings who weren’t lucky enough to die in battle. War has been pretty constant.”

“But wouldn’t they just come right back? When I was in the Elysian Fields, we weren’t running out of people and most of us were warriors.” 

Letitia’s eyes narrow. “How were you in the Elysian Fields?” 

Me and my big mouth. I can’t stop giving things away that I shouldn’t. Maybe this is why Anna never let me go undercover. “It’s a long story, doesn’t matter that much, I just need to find Jasmine.”

“Are you even dead?” George asks.

I offer what must be the least convincing smile in history. “Of course I am. Look at me, all dead and whatnot. That’s why I was in the Elysian Fields.” Wait, that doesn’t help, I had to have left.  _ You’re an idiot. _

And we were finally bonding. I rest my left hand on my hip, just above my sword’s hilt.

“You’re down here to rescue the woman you love.” A bemused chuckle falls from her lips as she leans against her lover’s chair. “That’s amazing. Both of you came? I hope you can find her. And that – I’m sure she’s fine.”

My eyes widen. Oh. Fuck. If people can die here, then Jasmine can. But she’s grown so strong. She won’t. Right? “Is it that dangerous? She’s a very good fighter.” When she has her powers, which are currently with me. Shit. We really need to hurry.

_ I honestly thought you knew. Did you think I was rushing you for no reason? _

I thought you were just impatient.

_ Then may I reiterate – _ “So, you were saying something about a bar? Where people might have some idea about her?”

“Yeah.” George rises from her seat. “Come on, it’s not at all far. We’ll take you there.”

When she said it wasn’t far, she meant it. Two buildings over, there’s another modern looking structure, this time with a damaged sign, proclaiming it as a bar. The rest of the name has fallen off, save for an S and an L. I don’t see Anna, but I’m sure she’s around here somewhere. Maybe she’s in one of the houses.

Or she could be pinning a man to a pool table with a gun to his head. That makes sense. “What did you just say?” she snarls. 

“What?” George asks, looking between Anna and me. I take it she’s already figuring it out. “Your wife?”

“I’m sure he deserves it,” I mutter, taking a seat at the bar. 

The man holds his hands up, staring up in horror, tears falling onto the damaged felt. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Oh, you didn’t mean anything when you said I should forget her and just ‘have some fun’ with you? I wasn’t supposed to infer anything from that?”

It wasn’t that long ago I was worried about shooting someone near Anna. I must have rubbed off on her. And not like when we were experimenting back at the orphanage.  _ Can I please just go back in her head?  _ Okay, I actually kinda deserved that one. “Have you seen a Middle Eastern woman in a blue belly dancer outfit?” I ask the bartender. Like Jasmine would ever go to a bar.

“That’s what she just asked Marco.” 

I look over to the man on the pool table as urine runs down his pant legs. “So have you?”

He shakes his head. “No. I haven’t seen anyone like that.”

“Are you going to stop her?” Letitia asks, staring intently at me. 

“Be my guest.” I gesture toward the woman who runs almost all crime throughout New York. 

“She’s your wife!”

Anna turns over to the yelling woman. “Oh, Elsa, you’re here. I don’t suppose you found anything out?”

I shake my head. “Nope.”

“Well, fuck.” She slides her gun back into her pocket, leaving the man to sob in his puddle of urine as she sits beside me. “We should get going then.”

“You think she’s going to pass through here though, right?” George asks, taking the seat on my other side. “Four beers, please,” she adds to the bartender.

“That’s the hope,” Anna said. “It seems possible, if not quite probable, that the woman we’re looking for –”

“I already said she was our partner.”

“Of course you did.” She rolls her eyes. “Well, she didn’t end up here the normal way. She was dropped by a Valkyrie.”

“Because we killed it,” I smirk.  _ Her. _

They stare at us, the fear turning more into something closer to wonder. 

Anna continues, “A Norse goddess seemed to feel that there was a good chance that she could’ve ended up down in Hel proper rather than just in Nfilhel, and as we didn’t have any other leads, that’s what we’re going with. So she’d have to pass through here.”

“Then wait,” George says. “You can stay with us. I promise it’d be fun. And you’ll find her when she comes through.”

Anna’s eyes are ablaze, literally, as she glares back at the woman. “You’re as bad as him.” She gestures toward the now-unoccupied puddle on the floor. He must’ve run off. Can’t say I blame him. “We’re not going to just spend our time fucking when our puppy is in danger – our girlfriend.” She swallows, shaking her head as a tear sizzles in the corner of her eye, leaving a puff of steam. “We have to keep going. We have to make sure she’s okay.”

_ See? She knew that Jasmine could die.  _

Okay, fine, I’m an idiot.

_ You said it. Not me. _

You also said it. “But what if we miss her?” I ask, barely able to get the words out. I don’t like crossing my Mistress in general, but I like it even less so when she looks more like my killer than my wife. Or maybe I’m only struggling to say it because I hate the idea so much. I can’t stand the idea of just sitting here instead of looking for a woman I love. “What if she manages to climb this mountain, and keeps going, only to be hurt on the way out. We’d never even know. At least here we can almost guarantee that we’ll see her.”

_ Did you just say something practical? _

Oh, fuck off, Skaldi.

Anna stares at me. Oh come on, I’m not that dumb. “But – we can’t just leave her alone. Who knows how long it could take?”

“She’s stronger than we’re giving her credit for. If we just wait –” I sigh, staring down at the bar as a beer is placed in front of me. “I don’t like it either.”

“Well then I should go fly on. I’ll find her and bring her back here.”

“You can fly?” Letitia asks, finally taking a seat in front of her drink.

“And what if you miss her?” I ask. “We’ll have no way to contact each other. We’d be right back in the same position, but with you as the one we can’t find.”

“Then I can just come right back every morning. It won’t be an issue.”

It is tough to argue with that.

“What if she’s hurt?” Letitia asks. “You might need to hurry back to Earth and find a doctor.”

I hadn’t thought of that.

“Then I’ll just fly her back home. I can go plenty fast.”

“Not if you miss her,” I point out.

She gnashes her teeth and yanks the beer to her, hard enough that some splashes onto her shirt. “Well what the fuck else should we do? I’m so worried about her.”

“I am too.”  _ Signal fire.  _ I blink. Wow, I really am that dumb. “I’ll look for her. I can’t fly, but I can go plenty fast on my own. And if I miss her and she shows up here, then you send up a signal with your powers. Just make some big fireworks, even in the day I’ll be able to see it.”

She snaps back, “Oh, so you get to go.”

“I know you’re worried about her, but I can’t make such an obvious signal. At least without freezing this entire town, and I don’t think they’d appreciate that.”

“You could make a loud snowman or something.”

“Fire’s still gonna work better. Anna, please. I’ll hurry, and I can send out minions in every direction too.” I always forget I can do that. I only thought of it because she mentioned making a snowman. I just like fighting my own battles too much. “Then the second you see her, you head for the exit, and I’ll hurry back. If she’s injured, don’t even think about waiting for me. Just keep her safe, and I’ll see you back home.”

After draining her drink she turns back to me. Rather than snarling or yelling or insisting that she should be the one to go, she gives me a sad nod. “Okay. You’re right. I’m just so worried about her. She has to be okay.”

I squeeze her hand. “She is. I promise.”

Chewing on her lip, she nods again. “Okay. Fine. Then you’d better get going.” She grabs my beer and slides it over.

“Yes, Mistress.”

“Good girl.” She grabs my collar, pulling me down as our lips meet, and she kisses me roughly, possessively. “Hurry back. Please,” she breathes when our lips part, the fire gone from her eyes as she looks up at me, silently pleading.

“I will.” I wave. “You three have fun.” Smirking, I rush out. I do wonder if they’ll be keeping her as busy as they wanted to keep me. Oh well, we can talk about it later. The idea only makes me a little jealous.

I shake my head to clear it. There’s no time for that. Skis appear on my feet, poles in my hand, and a veritable army of tiny snowmen surround me.  _ She’ll be okay. She’s strong.  _

Thanks, Skaldi. I hurry up, speeding down the mountain. Skaldi’s right. There’s no reason to worry. Even if she can die. She hasn’t. I’m sure of it.


	12. The Ice Queen Issue 4

My arms wrapped tight around me, the shaft of my spear beating against my leg, I do my best to climb this mountain. I’m used to the cold. One of my Mistresses is made of ice and so is Skaldi. I can take it. I can. Even though the only reason I could take it before was Skaldi keeping me from freezing to death. The snow whips into my eyes, as the wind buffets me, feeling like it’s trying to rip off my bandages. 

My eyes water, I try to force them open, staring out against the storm. All of my exposed skin feels like it’s on fire, which I suppose is better than not being able to feel it, but there’s a lot of it. Why does everyone keep ruining my shirts? 

I stare down at my ripped-up, blood-stained sports bra, and my torn and shredded harem pants, with bits of loose chain mail still dangling from the frayed legs. I need to get out of here, but I’m not going to make it if I don’t find some clothes. I don’t know what I was thinking heading up without any. I guess I’m just so used to the cold not bothering me. At least not really. 

But now it does. As I turn around, my knees give out and I plant myself firmly in the snow. Darn. I can’t feel my legs. 

My tears sting against my cheeks as I turn up to the sky, the wind and snow blurring my vision and blowing the tears stinging back toward my eyes. A broken laugh falls from my lips. Am I really going to freeze to death in Hel? I died in battle. I should be in Valhalla, and now I guess that’ll never happen. I’m never gonna see Elsa or Anna again either.

More tears burn as they fall. A blinding light flashes above me. That’s a thing that happens when you die, right? I’ve only done it the once before, and it was from an explosion of lava, so I don’t think it’s a normal death to go off of. Huh. We never did find out who he was. I bet he was another god, or maybe like us – a mortal with the powers of a god. 

If I’m dying for good now, I feel like I should know who killed me the first time. I’m going to assume he was Vulcan. Not like Spock, the Roman god of fire – the volcano. I think it makes sense. If the Greek and Norse gods are real, then why not him?

That actually makes me feel a little better. Unable to hold them open anymore, my eyes drift closed. At least I know who killed me. “I’m sorry, Elsa,” I murmur. 

“I’m here, child.” I feel hands against my cheeks. They feel so warm.

I have to blink a few times to clear the tears from my vision, but I see blonde hair and creamy skin above me, attached to soft well-muscled arms. “Elsa?” She’s here? But how? I barely even have the energy to move. 

“You were never meant to be here,” she whispers. “I’m taking you home, where you belong.”

I nod, throwing my arms around her. She’s here. I’m saved. I don’t need to worry anymore. “Thank you, Mistress,” My voice is little more than a hoarse whisper. 

The snow beneath me falls away. I’m being lifted up. Her armor presses against my side, the hilt of Elsa’s sword poking against me. She didn’t like it the last time I said that, but I didn’t mean anything by it, I swear, I hadn’t thought of it. 

Over the wind, I hear a flap of wings. Did Elsa figure out how to make ice wings? That’s so cool! I open my eyes again, I didn’t even realize they’d drifted closed.

Oh no.

Those wings aren’t made of ice. Neither is this armor. I try to turn, and see the ground falling away, as this Valkyrie tries to carry me off – tries to take me to Valhalla. “Wait, no, you can’t!” I manage, finding my strength again. “I’m leaving! I won’t stay dead! I can’t!” 

She must not have been expecting it, as my struggling throws her off, and she drops me.

As I plummet to the ground, which fortunately is only far enough away to break a few bones, there’s another snap of wind as she dives for me, snatching me halfway through my fall. “It’s okay. You don’t need to be afraid.” She sounds so confident. If I didn’t have people waiting for me, I’d probably go with her. Plus, she is really hot, like objectively, not because strong scary women are my type or anything.

I kick at her, my foot striking her chin, and she almost drops me again, barely managing to hang onto my ankle with one hand as she glares down at me. “I know you’re confused,” she says, anger creeping into her tone. “I can forgive this. I don’t know what happened to Gudr, she was supposed to find you, so I don’t blame you for being alarmed. I’ll look for her when I’m done here, but I’m not your enemy. I work for Odin –” She stops midsentence, and I can all but feel her staring at the weapon in my hand. “Speaking of –“

Wait. I still have my spear. I hurl it upward. The angle shouldn’t work for the throw, I can barely even see her face behind my foot, but this is Gungnir. It can’t miss.

The snow cushions my landing, as the corpse of a Valkyrie falls to the ground before me. They’re really easy to kill. You’d think they’d be sturdier than this. 

I hold out my hand and my spear flies back from her head. With its assistance, I pull myself to my feet and brush off the snow. As little as I’m wearing, that can’t be good for me. It already almost killed me once. I need to put on something.

My gaze settles on the body. A few days ago, I wouldn’t have believed I had the stomach for this, but it only takes me a minute to strip the metal armor and the leather underneath it from the Valkyrie. I do wonder what her name was. Hopefully she’s just somewhere else in Hel. Maybe the gate? She can find Gudr now. That’s what she wanted, after all.

I stare at the now-naked woman at my feet. She really was beautiful. I feel like such a ghoul. Are they real too? They must be.

Her wings are gone. I stare at the armor. They’re attached to it! How did she – right, the girl who used the magic bracelet to make ice constructs can’t figure out how to use magic wings. I’m dumb. I shiver. I should put clothes on.

I pull off my pants, dropping the holsters next to her sword on the ground, and kick the remaining snow off of me. A gust of wind stirs, and I wish I was already wearing the leather padding, but it looks tight, and it wouldn’t fit over my harem pants. As quickly as I can, I throw them on. Wow. They’re so comfy and warm. I’m not sure I’ve ever loved clothes this much. 

As the leather tunic slides over my head, it envelopes me in a cozy warmth that I can scarcely describe. The Valkyrie had been bigger than me, so it’s not too tight, though it does press in on my shoulder a lot more than I’d like – I’d really like it not to at all, that would be ideal. 

I decide to trade my old boots for hers. They’ve been through a lot and I probably needed some new ones anyway. They fit surprisingly well, my feet barely move around in them. That’s surprising. Even Anna has bigger feet than me, and she’s tiny! 

The greaves fight me a bit as I try to slide them over the boots, but I manage, securing them around my shin. I feel pretty lame myself as I try to remember the name for the band of armor that goes around my waist – that’s a pun – I may have read through all of Elsa’s armor books from when she was trying to perfect her ice armor. With the lame secured, I pull on the cuirass, whimpering as it presses into my shoulder. Ow. It isn’t until the vambraces are in place on my wrists that I finally feel it. I’m glad I decided to steal her boots – unsurprisingly, the armor’s magic.

With a bit of trial and error, I manage to figure out how to move my wings. I try some tentative flaps and find the ground a few feet below me. I can fly!

The armor clangs as pain shoots up through my legs. I can not, however, hover without flapping. Ow. Good to know.

“You!” A voice snarls, not that far away. For a second I think that it was only the wind, as I look around and see nothing but snow and mountain. Eventually, I realize that part of that snow is moving toward me.

“Elsa?” I ask for the second time in what couldn’t have been more than half an hour. I’d know that ice armor anywhere. “Elsa!”

Pulling myself to my feet, I sprint toward her, the armor producing light clangs as I move.

“Jasmine?” she breathes as she pulls me into her arms. “I was so worried.”

“I’m sorry. I was trying to hurry back to you.”

She shakes her head, her fingers weaving through the hair under my helmet. “I knew you would be. I told Anna you were okay – that you had to be.” Her lips press against mine and I feel her icy tears. “I’m so glad you’re all right,” she sobs, letting out a shuddering breath as she pulls away to stare into my eyes. “You are, aren’t you?”

I take a moment to process all of the pain in my body. Most of it doesn’t feel too serious. Other than my shoulder. But I don’t want to worry her. “More or less. I’m alive.”

She nods, her eyes never leaving mine. “Well let’s prove that. Anna is waiting at the top of the mountain, in case I missed you on the way, let’s get you home.”

My cheeks ache from how wide I’m smiling. “Yes! Let’s. Oh my god, Elsa, I’m so glad to see you.”

“Fine, I’ll tell her,” she mutters. “Skaldi won’t stop screaming about how happy she is that you’re all right. She missed you.”

I stare at her wrist. “Skaldi!” My hands fly for the bracer, wrapping around it in a semblance of a hug. “I’ve missed you too. I hope you and Elsa got along okay.” I meet Elsa’s eyes again, radiating all the love I can. I don’t want her to think I’m more excited for Skaldi. “May I?” I ask.

With a single movement, she pulls the bracer off of her wrist and hands it to me. As much as the valkyrie armor covers me, I have to work to find a spot I can put it, but there’s some room on my upper arm. “I’ve missed you so much – both of you.”

There’s only silence in my head.

Skaldi?

Nothing.

I shake my head. “Right, It doesn’t work here.”

Elsa stares at me. “It did for me.”

“Well I’m still dead. When I get back to Midgard I’ll be alive again, right?” I wish Skaldi would answer, it would make me feel so much better.

“That’s how I understand it,” Elsa confirms.

“Right. So then I’ll be able to hear her again.” I breathe out a sigh of relief. She’s not gone forever. “Do you want her back?’

“No fucking way.”

I roll my eyes. “Fine then. Thank you. I didn’t want to give her back anyway.”

“Yeah, I figured, I also just really didn’t want to deal with her.”

Giggling, I cling to her again, running my fingers through her hair. Her ice armor just isn’t as comforting as feeling her. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“I never want to.” I squeeze her hand in mind, pulling away. “I love you, Elsa. So incredibly much.”

She nods, blinking away a half-frozen tear. “I love you too.”

My wings shift as I roll one shoulder, I don’t think I could manage the other. “Let’s climb a mountain!” I almost feel like myself again. Everything isn’t just a desperate fight for survival and escape anymore. She’s here. I don’t have to worry. We might still be in Hel, but I’m home.

Elsa stares at my wings. “How?”

I point toward the body on the ground, now half-covered in snow.

“Nice!” She smirks, her teeth showing in a wicked smile. “You killed your own Valkyrie. My little puppy is growing up.” She blinks, her eyes narrowing. “Wait.  _ You _ killed someone.”

Chewing on my lip, I stare down at the snow-covered ground. “Yeah. I did.”

“What all happened, Jasmine? I can’t imagine any situation in which you would kill.”

“I don’t want to go over it twice, can I please just tell you the whole story when we find Anna?”

She still looks worried, but she relents, grabbing my left hand – I barely manage not to yelp in pain as she pulls – and we begin walking. “You can tell it all to us over a few beers. I’m so sorry that you had to go through all of this. You’re our property. It’s our job to be there for you. We never should have let this happen.”

“You did everything you could.” I squeeze her hand, hoping that it comes off as reassuring. “I don’t blame you at all. We’re super heroes. Sometimes we die, we just need to make sure we always come back.”

“Comics are weird.”

“Comics are amazing! Besides, they’re apparently pretty accurate, as often as we die.”

She looks offended as she stares back at me, her mouth open. “Just the once!”

“We haven’t been super heroes that long. I’ve been doing it for two and a half years, you died like a week into it.”

“You are getting spanked so hard when we get home.”

That’s fair. I deserve that. “Just as long as you don’t thwack my nose with a newspaper.”

She sighs, sounding pained as she considers my words. “I suppose I can live with that, but I’m going to have to use the riding crop.”

My cheeks heat, and they’re not alone. That’s one way to fight off the cold. “So you’re just going to leave out Anna? I’m sure she missed me too.”

“She has, she’s been worried sick about you. You know how much worse her punishments can be. I can forgive you for dying, you’re just getting punished for being a smartass, but you know her. You might not be allowed to cum for weeks – and that’s if you’re lucky.”

I shiver, only partially from fear. “It wasn’t my fault!”

“Hey, you can tell that to her.”

“But it wasn’t!”

“You really need to start wearing better armor. Then this never would have happened.”

I stare down at my new armor. “I think I have.”

She turns back to me, looking the Valkyrie’s armor up and down. “Yeah, that’s probably better. Maybe we should test it out. See what all it can handle.”

“Just remember that I don’t have a healing factor.”

She continues walking in silence, but I can practically hear what all her mind is going through. “Anna did seem to enjoy that a little too much. I wish she hadn’t tested it the first time by shooting me in the fucking face.”

My jaw drops, my eyes widening as I stare at her. “She did what?!” It comes out broken, somewhere between terror and laughter. 

“In her defense I had just made her the don and then locked her in a room against her will.”

“What?” I squeak.

She shrugs. “Our little sadist does enjoy venting her frustration sometimes. Plus Notos was apparently whispering in her head at the time, so I’m not sure that she’d have been quite as quick to shoot me on a normal day.”

“Right,” I mutter. I never actually did meet Anna before that. It was just Notos in disguise that one time. I know it changed her, as did running the mafia, but I’d only ever really heard about before Notos and after Notos, I’d never thought that much about what it must have been like when he was still there, whispering away. The voice in my head was always so comforting. I wonder what it would’ve been like if Skaldi was more murderous and hateful. Would I have just shot my girlfriend if she pissed me off?

Well, no, because I thought I was straight, so that situation would have been very unlikely. 

“You okay?” Elsa asks, stopping to pull me close again, grabbing both of my hands. I think she’s scared that if she stops touching me I’ll disappear. I relate.

“I’m fine. Just thinking. I’ve mostly just had my own thoughts – and your movies and Anna’s books – to keep me busy the last few days. Oh, speaking of, you’ll be so proud! I used Inglourious Basterds to distract some Nazis before I killed all of them.

She stares at me for a moment before pulling me flush against her and pressing her lips against mine, her tongue exploring my mouth as her hands rest on the leather covering my ass. “I have never loved you more than this moment.”

“I thought you might.”

“Tell me the whole story, and don’t leave out a second.”

With a playful giggle, I say, “I’ll tell you when we get there.”

“Tell me now, puppy. That’s an order.”

“Well, if you insist.” Without having to embellish a thing, I tell her the whole story of the day I got her ten Nazi scalps. By the time I’ve answered all of her questions, I can see the town a few feet away. Time to tell Anna about my whole trip.


	13. The Borealis Family Issue 2

“I’m sorry, you say  _ what _ happened to my property?” I ask, feeling the fire in my belly trying to spill forth. I can manage this. I’m in a bar and everything is so flammable, I don’t want to risk igniting it just because I’m pissed off. I want to rip that monster apart. 

“Grendel was just trying to protect himself!” Jasmine insists, desperation in her voice. She is always so sentimental. Sounds like I used to. “He’s an animal, and I scared him, you don’t need to worry.” As she gesticulates to emphasize her point, she winces, gripping her shoulder. “I’m fine. I swear.”

“Are you now?” I set my daiquiri down and step toward her, glaring up at the sitting super hero. “How high can you lift your arm? Show me.”

“I’m okay, Mistress. I just need some more time to heal.”

“Show me. Now.”

With a heavy sigh, she raises her left hand up to just shy of shoulder height. As she struggles to raise it any further, she lets out a low whimper before she finally just drops it to her side. 

“Honey,” I coo, pulling her to me, resting her head on my shoulder. “I’m here. I’m so sorry. I’m going to kill that fucking monster.”

“He wouldn’t have had the chance to if that Nazi hadn’t shot me in the shoulder. Just blame the racist, okay? And I already killed him. Grendel and I just beat each other up, he doesn’t need to suffer anymore. Please.”

“But –“

Elsa rests her hand on my shoulder. “I think she needs this, Anna. She had to kill to survive for the first time ever, and she was only able to spare this one creature. Let’s not take away that act of mercy, okay?” 

Wow that sounds weird coming from her. Fuck, am I really the only one advocating for murder? I guess I really have changed more than I thought. A shiver runs up my spine. I wish I could say I don’t like the new me, it would make everything so much simpler. “Okay. You’re right. Let’s just get her out of here, then. Maybe that’ll heal her.”

“Yeah!” Jasmine squeals. “I’ll be fine.” She takes a sip of her beer. This new pup is going to take some getting used to.

“I’m sorry we didn’t find you sooner,” I say. She shouldn’t have had to go through all of this. I already went through enough, I hate that I let my pet go through even worse, and for so much less.

“It’s okay. Honestly, it was kind of nice to find out that I can look after myself. For so long, you both have looked after me, and even before then it was always Skaldi or my father. I’m not crazy about all of my injuries,” she laughs, “But I think this journey was good for me. Now I know that I can be a total badass just like you two.”

“Plus you got some cool new toys,” Elsa offers, as she waves for the bartender.

“Yeah!” she agrees. “Did I show you Gungnir already?”

“You did,” I say. “But I’m fine with seeing it again. It is a beautiful weapon.”

“Oh!” Elsa exclaims, undoing her belt. Eh, sure, we haven’t had public sex in ages. “That reminds me. Since apparently you’re the magical weapon girl now, at least until you can use Skaldi again, I thought you might want my sword.” She holds out the magical weapon in its sheath.

Bitch wouldn’t even let me borrow it!

A massive smile spreads across Jasmine’s face as she turns to our mutual partner. “You mean it?” She takes the offered blade, marveling at it. “But it can kill gods. Are you sure you don’t need it? I’m probably okay with just Gungnir. I’m better with a spear anyway and I know you love swords.”

“I’m fine. I just want to know that you’re safe, and I think having one other weapon you can rely on is a good way to help with that. Plus, maybe it’ll help us beat Hel.”

“Norse gods are pretty mortal, I doubt we’ll need it.”

“Then I don’t need it to kill Hel. All the more reason you should have it.”

Chuckling, Jasmine relents and rises to secure it to her hip. The outfit does look a bit more complete with the spear poking over her shoulder and the sword at her side. She looks way more intimidating than the last Valkyrie I saw. “It suits you.”

“Thank you, Mistress.” She beams back at me, tracing her hand along the hilt of her new weapon.

Elsa slides over another beer and a daiquiri. “I still can’t believe you’re actually drinking beer now. I had to figure out how to make a grasshopper just to get you to drink before.”

“Chocolate is good!” she insists.

“Yeah. So’s beer.”

She shrugs. “Yeah, I guess it is. I took a lot of supplies from those Nazis, and they had a lot of beer. So I kind of had to get used to it.”

“For a bunch of racists, they sure liked living up to every German stereotype,” I muse. “Hell, they even did the whole being obsessed with Norse mythology thing.”

“Well, that is how they ended up here.”

Elsa chuckles. “She’s got you there.”

“I’m just saying.”

“Anna, we’re Italian mobsters.”

I open my mouth to reply and then close it again. Fuck. She’s kind of got me there. Glaring at her, I sip at my daiquiri as I try to figure out a retort. “Well, we’re Greek gods, that has to break a few Italian stereotypes.”

“Yeah, cause those Romans sure didn’t steal from Greek gods,” Jasmine teases.

I stare at the two of them. “I’m whipping both of you.”

Elsa’s smirk only grows. “Now that sounds like fun. Right now, or are we heading home?”

“We probably should head out,” I admit. “It took a few days to get here. Though, I suppose at least Jasmine and I can fly back. Maybe she can carry you.” There are so many empty houses here though. We already had to turn down that foursome offer, getting to play with both of them would certainly make my first trip to Hel a lot more exciting.

Elsa’s playful expression finally falters and I earn my own glare. “I could probably figure out a way to fly,” she mutters.

“Well I know Valkyrie wings can carry people easily, so I’m fine with doing that,” Jasmine offers helpfully, annoying Elsa all the more.

“Fine, I suppose I can just whip both of you tonight and we can figure out who has to carry Elsa tomorrow. I did want to have a few more drinks anyway.”

“No one’s carrying me,” she insists.

Jasmine nods. “That makes sense. I have really missed...” she trails off, her cheeks reddening, “A lot of things.”

“Fine,” Elsa grumbles. “I haven’t gotten to make my puppy scream in days. I have so missed your moans.”

Her entire face seems red as she hides it behind her glass.

A few rounds later, we find our way into a nearby house. I’d stayed here last night, and it seemed perfect for our needs. There’s even a bed and running water. I wonder what happened to the old occupants. There’s no blood or anything to suggest they were killed here, but there is some food in the fridge. Maybe they were run off, or one of those raids hit them when they were outside. Oh well, their loss is our gain.

Elsa grabs another beer from the fridge and takes a seat at the counter. “I’m surprised at you. I didn’t think you’d let Jasmine keep that armor on after we got in here.”

Nice to see her deferring to me for once. “That is true. What’s the rule, Jasmine?” I ask, smirking up at my property.

“But this isn’t actually home,” Jasmine insists. “This is just some place where we’re squatting in Hel, and like what if people come in, or if we’re attacked.”

“We’ll keep you safe,” Elsa points out, draining the bottle. I really do need to put her in her place too. But Jasmine first. I’ve been worried about her and I need to remind myself that she’s really here – and still mine.

“Off. Now. Hurry up and I won’t make a fire tail-plug for you.” I wish I could just have Elsa do it, but without Skaldi’s power, that wouldn’t work either. I hope she can still survive having sex with us.

With a brief nod, she stares down at the floor, a subservient expression on her face as she slowly takes off the armor. The cuirass falls with a loud bang on the floor, and she picks it up, looking nervously at me. 

“It can stay there.”

“Yes, Mistress.” Another nod, and the rest of the armor begins to come off. As I watch, a heat stirs in my belly, beyond the perpetual inferno. She really is beautiful. The latticework of scars over her taut abs and well-muscled back show my own handiwork, and that of far too many super villains. I wish she healed as well as we do.

She winces when she tries to take off the sports bra, tears welling up in her eyes as she attempts to focus on the task.

I start to place a hand on her shoulder, but see the condition it’s in and move to the other. I can’t believe we let this happen to her. The bandages are stained with blood, but at least it doesn’t look too fresh. I help her out of the bra and hold her close. The stool she was sitting on scrapes against the floor as Elsa comes to join us, her jaw dropping as she surveys the damage to our property. “I’m so sorry,” I breathe.

“Does it still hurt?” Elsa asks.

Jasmine nods, her chest rising and falling with a deep breath. “It does. But I’m okay. You don’t need to worry.”

“Do you want to re-bandage it? Or maybe Anna should, she’s done it enough times for me. I could try cooling the wounds though. Maybe that would numb the pain?”

Another nod. “Just the cold. Please, Mistress.”

She doesn’t bother to move from my arms as Elsa approaches her, gently resting her hands on Jasmine’s shoulder, willing a touch of cold to take the pain away. “Tell me if it’s too much.”

I plant a soft kiss on the back of her neck. “We won’t let anything like this happen to you again.”

She squeezes my hand, her breath hitching. She lets out a whimper and turns back to Elsa. Behind her I can just imagine her half-lidded eyes. Jasmine does have such a complicated relationship with the cold. “It feels nice. Almost like I’m home.”

Elsa leans forward and kisses the wound, leaving a frost mark on the red bandages. “And you’re sure you don’t want us to deal with the bandages?”

“Not right now. I really just...” she trails off, staring down.

“Want to get fucked like a little whore?” I ask.

She turns back, her cheeks reddening. “I didn’t –”

“Of course not,” Elsa replies, smirking playfully at the puppy. “More like a bitch in heat.”

Biting her lip, Jasmine looks between us. “I’ve really missed you!”

I hook a finger around the waistband of her panties and slide them down. “You were supposed to already be naked. Just all the more reason I have to punish you, I suppose.”

“Sorry, Mistress.”

Elsa’s hand traces up her thigh, dancing just past her lips before going down the other. “Our poor naughty puppy. I have missed your screams.” Her armor melts away, revealing the neatly pressed suit beneath. I still have no idea how she manages that.

“Not tonight,” I say, looking my wife up and down. “I said I was whipping both of you. You might get to hear her screams, but I intend for you to be doing so right along with her.”

Swallowing, Elsa looks to me, looking far more turned on than annoyed. “I’ve just missed getting to play with my puppy.” She’s doing her best not to sound like she’s trying to fight against my order, but I’ve no interest in going easy on her.

“Too bad. There’ll be time for that later. Clothes off now, or I’m burning them off.”

She does her best to hide just how turned on she is as she unbuttons her shirt, but her erect nipples suggest otherwise. It’s not like the cold can get to her. I pull her to me and dip my finger between her thighs, feeling just how wet she already is. “Jasmine, can you crawl?”

I’m so used to her crawling around our house, her tail dragging behind her and eliciting the occasional moan as gravity tugs at it. Losing that would certainly suck. She goes to her knees and tries supporting herself with her arms, but winces immediately, looking up at me from the floor. “I’m sorry, Mistress.”

“It’s okay.” Maybe she’ll be able to again in time. I wish I’d thought to bring a whip for this trip. I could make one for Elsa – hm, that’s an idea. “Elsa, make me a whip.”

She nods, and holds her hand out, a braided strand of ice appearing in her grasp.

“I do have such good subs.” I swat her ass, feeling the patch there. Hopefully I don’t whip it off, there’s no way she thought to bring a spare. “Since Jasmine is injured, why don’t you show her the bed upstairs. Though I expect you on the floor next to it.”

Flushing, Elsa manages a “Yes, Mistress,” and grabs Jasmine’s hand, leading her upstairs. This will be so much fun.

The cape flaps against the wall as I slip out of my own shirt, and drop my pants next to theirs. As much as I do love the image of a fully clothed domme using and beating her subs, I really want to get eaten out. 

Upstairs, I find them both waiting. Jasmine is seated on the bed, cross-legged, while Elsa is on her knees on the floor next to her. Annoyance and arousal battle on her face. She’s been set lower than her own sub. I know, I’m so cruel, but I just love making her stew sometimes. “On your hands and knees, slut,” I say, cracking the whip on the ground in front of her. “Jasmine, you can stay seated for now.”

“Yes, Mistress,” they both say, as Elsa raises her ass for me.

I only take the sexiest subs. I rest my hand on the cool plump flesh, squeezing it roughly enough to elicit a harsh inhale. Good. Taking a few steps back, I raise the whip in my right hand and flick it forward, a crack sounding just before it strikes her. The cheek reddens from its icy bite, and immediately heals. 

I strike again, harder, causing Elsa to give a broken moan. She doesn’t even sound like she’s hurting. My fucking painslut, I swear. Again, and again, my whip falls, coloring her back and ass even quicker than she can heal. I strike hard enough to bring blood, so at least something will stay. This is why it’s nice getting to use my fire sometimes, but that tends to prompt safe words unless it’s my birthday.

Jasmine adjusts in her seat, leaning back and crossing her legs, clearly enjoying the show.

“Feeling left out, pup?” The whip bites at her breast and she shivers, her thighs squeezing together.

“Maybe a little.”

“Lie down on your front.” I gesture with the whip.

She does so, baring her tight ass to me. I take a few steps over and trace the whip along her body, leaving a thin trail of melted ice along her muscular frame. 

Behind me, I can hear Elsa adjust to have a better view, so I turn and grab her by the hair. “Did I say you could move?”

She shakes her head, causing me to pull her hair, so I go with it, wrapping it taut around my fingers. 

“Be a good girl and stay there. I’m not done with you.”

She does as she’s told, so I turn back to Jasmine, Elsa's hair still bound in my hand, my movements pulling it. Elsa shudders and moans as I continue to trace the toy along my pet’s body, earning a sharp whine when it touches her lips. “Mistress,” she whines.

“Too cold?”

“Kind of. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay.” Setting the whip on the bed, between her legs, I palm her, spreading her lips open and slipping a finger inside of her. She’s already soaked, practically dripping onto the bed. 

“Ohhh!” she moans. “Please fuck me, Mistress.”

“I will. Soon.” 

I release Elsa and slowly pull my finger out of Jasmine, plunging it back in before I take it all the way out and grab the whip again. Cracks fill the small bedroom as the whip bites into her back and ass, again and again, joining the uncountable scars already there. I’m generally careful enough not to leave anything permanent, but it does happen. 

When I’m done, she’s panting, breathless and spent, and I can hear the slight whimper of Elsa silently pleading for me to give her some attention. “Did you come, puppy?” I ask, my voice firm, but loving. I’ve been so worried about her that it’s difficult to sound too strict.

“I think I may have a little. I’m not entirely sure,” she admits. “I was pretty out of it.” 

I lash the whip against her cunt, quickly, and lightly enough to not hurt her too much. “Naughty slut. Play with yourself, but you’d better not come again without permission.”

She rolls over, giving me a perfect view of her dripping core between her bronze legs and her perky tits with the small welt on the right breast from earlier. Her fingers dip between her legs, two of them sliding in instantly and curling inside of her, producing a wet squelching sounding as she begins thrusting into herself, her palm pushing against her clit.

I rest my hand on Elsa’s ass and rake my nails along her back. “We’re still lacking in toys tonight, my love. Make me a strap-on, something that can go in me too.”

She magics one up, supporting herself on one arm as she holds it back for me. 

“Bigger than that. You can take it.”

“But I haven’t been dilating while we’ve been gone.”

“And who’s fault is that?” I ask, slipping a finger inside of her. “You can just make them inside yourself and you know that you’re supposed to before bed.”

“There hasn’t been time.”

She does feel tighter than usual. I push in, feeling her body fight against me, but I manage to slip in a second finger. Her arousal is providing a good deal of assistance. It was the only way to ever get them in her after she’d first had her surgery. “Make it bigger, Elsa, but not quite as big as usual. You’re turned on enough to take two –” I manage to slip in another finger, sliding them in and out, “three fingers right now. You can take bigger than that thing.”

“Yes, Mistress.” 

The strap-on grows in size and I take it from her, slipping it inside me before securing the straps around me. Jasmine whimpers as she watches. “No coming,” I remind her, as I thrust into Elsa. At first, it can’t quite make it as deep as usual, but as I pinch Elsa’s nipple, she loosens, and moans in pleasure and pain as it slips forward, slamming against her wall. 

“Fuck,” she hisses. “Oh, fuck,” she adds, sounding more into it. “Please keep going, Mistress.” Her hand falls back to the floor as she puts her weight forward, moving her ass in time with my thrusts. 

Jasmine’s breath hitches and I turn to see her eyes screwed shut as she tries desperately to not fall over the edge. Despite how close she is, her fingers don’t stop once. She wouldn’t dare disobey my order. “Good girl,” I say. “Stop, come here, sit on the edge of the bed.”

With her closer to me, I rest my hand on her thigh, digging my nails in the barest bit as I look to her. “You were good, weren’t you?”

“Yes, Mistress. I didn’t come.”

I press my finger against her clit, rubbing a slow circle as she moans, pursing her lips and clenching every muscle in her body to try to keep control. “Do it, slut. Come for me.”

Immediately, she gives in, the orgasm rocking her body as my finger continues it’s work, picking up speed. 

“You can do it again when you’re ready,” I add, as I thrust harder into Elsa. “Are you close, slut?” I ask her.

Nodding vigorously, Elsa can only manage a wanton moan.

I don’t say anything as I pick up speed, torturing her nipple with my free hand. When it seems that she can barely hold on another second, in a firm, commanding voice, I simply say, “Come.” 

She does so without restraint, her body shuddering under and against me, her cries filling the room. 

When they’re both spent from another orgasm, I finally relent and push Jasmine back against the bed, stepping next to her as my wife collapses on the floor. “I still haven’t gotten my turn. Since Elsa does seem so tired, I’ll let you take turns,” I say, magnanimously, as I straddle Jasmine’s face. “You first.”


	14. The Borealis Family Issue 2

            I drop Elsa on the ground as I land. She was so annoyed about having to be carried. I think she’d honestly have rather just run on her own, but Anna insisted. Behind us lies a bridge – apparently the bridge – and before us there’s what looks like a hole in the very substance of reality. They said that Skaldi opened it, but I’m still not sure how that would work. I know her powers, and this certainly isn’t one of them. Can all of the gods just cross worlds like that?

            Blocking our way, there stands an imposing figure. She stands at ten feet tall, and half of her is one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen, naked and bared to her domain. Her black hair curls around a green eye, sharp chin, fairly impressive – um, assets – and a body that I would kill for, and I’m not sure if I mean above me or as me. But the other side. It’s very different. Her skin is blackened and decayed, her eye a sunken hole that still seems to watch your every moment, her arm a long decrepit thing that looks like it could drain the very life from you.

            So this is Hel.

            “I’ll not have you take my property.” Her voice seems to thunder throughout the world, but it’s a quiet seductive voice which would seem at home in a femme fatale from the forties.

            “She’s our property,” Elsa snarls, an ice javelin appearing in both of her hands.

            “She wasn’t supposed to be here,” Anna adds, her daggers igniting before her, as she falls into a battle stance. “She died in battle, and she belongs to Greek gods, you have no claim on her. Let us through, or we will run you down.”

            I wish Skaldi was here. “I’m leaving. You can’t stop me.”

            Blue flames run up her arms, as ice begins to crack at her feet. “All who enter my domain without permission are mine.” The sultriness is gone from her tone, and the words crack at my very being, like Anna’s whip, shaking my bones. “Had you come and prostrated yourselves on stepping-block like a proper guest, perhaps I’d have allowed you to leave with your pet, but you slew my servant, carved your way through my domain, and dare to leave without so much as paying your respects.”

            “Oh just shut up already,” Elsa mutters, hurling a javelin.

            It explodes in the air before Hel, showering the ground in shards of ice. “Have it as you will.” Ice snakes along the ground, crackling toward us, as fire forms a ring surrounding us.

            I take to the air, grateful for my new wings. Gungnir flies into my left hand as I draw my blade into my right. Even with my shoulder, the spear still can’t miss. I flick my hand in her direction and it hurtles toward her, aimed straight between her eyes – or eye and eye socket as it may be.

            Where she was, there’s now nothing but black smoke. I look around for her, anywhere, as Gungnir returns to my hand.

            “Bitch!” Elsa yells.

            Long fingers wrap around my mouth, pulling me from the sky, against the chest of a Hel who appears even larger than before. “My child,” she coos, her voice now that of a mother talking to an infant in a crib. “They wish to take you from me. They don’t know what that will cost you. This is your home.”

            With a quick cut, Elsa’s sword – my sword – slices through her over-sized wrist. The god-killing blade seems to work just as well on this pantheon.

            I drop for an instant before my wings catch me and I drift away, hurtling my spear as Anna darts through the sky, her weapons more lances than daggers as she impales the giantess. Beneath us, Elsa stakes her to the ground with something between an icicle and a glacier.

            Her eye burns as she stares at me, her lips curling to reveal the other half of her teeth. It kinda feels like she wants to eat me. I hope she didn’t bring Famine. Fire explodes forth, knocking me against the mountain wall from which the portal protrudes. The world goes white as rocks bite into my shoulder.

            Elsa steams beneath me. I don’t think her armor handled the blast as well as mine did. Her suit is smoldering to ashes as she tries to regain her footing, using an ice javelin for support.

            Anna, on the other hand, seems unfazed. “Two can play at this game.” A wall of fire, as far as I can see in either direction, expands before her and envelopes the goddess.

            For a second, I think she did it, that we won, that I can go home, but the fire turns to ice and melts away. Hel stands, unscorched, staring down at the tiny woman before her. She has to be twenty feet tall now. Anna’s five-foot-nothing frame looks almost like a bug at her feet. She’d kill me for that comparison.

            Hel stares down at her missing hand, then looks to her other, as ice begins to run along her decaying flesh. Her fingers close into a fist and ice encases Anna’s feet. It melts immediately, as she flames on, but it’s soon replaced by more, melting and reforming faster than even the heat of a god can manage to remove.

            Elsa is still barely able to stand. Her flesh seems to be reforming – the wounds must not be as bad as they were when Anna – when Notos inflicted them, but fire is still not an easy thing for her to take, and it’s all over her body. I don’t think Anna can beat her on her own.

            I cover my mouth with the back of my right hand, the sword poking out over my head, as I try to stifle my cries. With far more difficulty than I’d expected, I manage to pry myself back from the cliff and take back to the air, flying high above them, while Hel is distracted by Anna. I’ll only have the one chance.

            Anna tries to take off, flames radiating five feet from her in every direction, but the ice encases her again, and she drops back to the ground with a sharp thud and a crack. I take the chance, and drop down as well, flying like a bullet straight for Hel’s head.

            She begins to look around, doubtless in search of me, as Hera’s gift pierces the top of her head. The blade slides down, sickeningly like a knife through butter, as it carves into her brain. For a long moment, she stands there, unmoving, and I worry that it hasn’t worked, but she begins to topple, fading back to her ten-foot form as she falls over. I flap my wings, taking back to the air as she collapses with a deafening thud, the sound ringing out through the entire world. It’s as if Hel itself is crying for its Mistress.

            Ice splinters and falls away, as the fire god breaks through, looking around for her enemy, and finding her already slain. She meets my eyes as I retrieve my sword, understanding and empathy clear in her expression. We take Elsa by her hands, ignoring her protests as we touch the burnt skin, and the three of us emerge through the portal, back into our world.

            Cars sound in the distance, and lights flash in the New York evening. The mountains and monsters have been replaced by skyscrapers and smog. I’m home.

 

~o~

 

            Back home, Elsa’s skin is mostly restored, as we collapse into our Alaskan king bed. I need a shower, but we can change the sheets later. I’m exhausted. Elsa stole us a car, and Anna drove it back. They promised me that we’d take it back later, with a full tank.

            “How’re you feeling?” Anna asks.

            “I’m fine. What about you, Jasmine?”

            “I’m okay. You two took the brunt of her attacks. Anna?”

            She shrugs. “Just annoyed. Thanks for saving us.”

            I giggle, feeling a smile pull at my cheeks. “I had to get to eventually.”

            “Oh, come on,” Elsa insists, “You’ve saved us before. What about that asshole with the mask and the fire powers?”

            I shrug. “I guess. I just think you could’ve handled yourself then.”

            “Yeah, ‘cause I’m awesome.”

            Anna rolls her eyes. “It’s so nice having our bed again. The one in Hel wasn’t terrible, but well –” she grins, “There’s no place like home.”

            “That’s true. Right, Skaldi?”

            I’m alive again. She has to be back too.

            “Skaldi?” I sit up, staring at my bracelet.

            “You still can’t hear her?” Anna asks.

            Shaking my head, I take the bracelet off and put it back on. Still nothing. “I don’t understand.”

            “Let me try.” Elsa extends her hand and I let her take Skaldi from me. “Hey, bitch, why aren’t you talking to Jasmine? Aren’t you glad she’s back?” Her eyes widen. “What?”

            “What?!” My breath catches. What’s wrong?

            “Fuck.”

            “Elsa?” Concern is clear on Anna’s face as she stares at Elsa, who seems to be in shock.

            With a heavy gulp, she leans back, pressing her hand to her forehead. “We fucked up. We fucked up so badly.”

            “What?!” I scream.

            Her eyes glisten with tears as she turns to face me. “Apparently since Hel didn’t release you like Persephone did me, it doesn’t count as you being alive again. That’s good in the sense that you won’t age, just like us –”

            “So I’m gonna be twenty forever?”

            “Yeah, but that’s not the bad part. She’s not sure what’ll happen if you die, but she’s very very worried that you would just be dead for good.”

            Anna’s jaw drops. “Then I’m worried too! Jasmine, no more super heroics. We can’t just bring you back. Just focus on your classes, find a real job, please. I can’t lose you.” She sounds almost frantic.

            “And you can’t hear her anymore,” Elsa adds, choking on the words. “She can’t be wielded by the dead, and you’re still dead.”

            “But –”

            “I know. She’s crying in my head about it. She says there had to be a way we could’ve made Hel agree – if I had her power instead then – She’s not taking this well. She’s missed you so much.”

            I sniffle, the world blurring.

            “She says she loves you. That you were like a daughter to her, and that you mean everything to her.”

            “I love her too.”

            Tears spill from her eyes. “I know you do. And she can hear you, and she knows too. I’m so sorry, Jasmine.”

            “It’s not your fault,” I sob.

            Anna squeezes my hand. “But there’s no way to bring her back if she dies again?” Anna asks, sounding even more panicked.

            “She doesn’t know, but she thinks not.”

            “Fuck. Okay, that’s it. I mean it, Jasmine. You’re not allowed to join us for this stuff anymore. You can’t. I can’t lose you.” Her grip tightens, enough that it starts to hurt. “I’ve already had to go through both of you dying once, but I was able to bring you back.” Tears steam in her eyes. “I can’t do it again – and I definitely can't lose you for good. Please, Jasmine. Promise you’ll give it up.”

            “Anna.”

            “It’s an order!”

            “Anna,” Elsa says, her voice cool, as she takes her hand from mine. “You know how important this is to Jasmine.”

            “Not as important as she is to us!”

            “Honey –”

            Ripping her hand away, Anna stands, towering over us for once. “No! I’m in charge here, and I say it’s not happening. She is _mine_ and I will not let anything happen to my property. Look at what all she’s already gone through!” I inhale sharply as she touches my shoulder to demonstrate. “If she keeps going like this, then we’ll lose her for good. I won’t allow it. I can’t allow it. Jasmine, I forbid you from doing any more of this. We can carry on in your stead, but that’s it. You can be like –” she searches for a comparison. “Oracle.” She knows those comic references always do it for me.

            Meeting her eyes, I shake my head. “Red.”

            Her jaw drops. “What?” She looks half-crazed, desperate for any way out of this.

            “That’s a hard limit, Mistress. You can’t forbid me from doing what I love. We can make sure that I’m careful, we can do whatever it takes to keep me alive besides that, but I won’t have you two going out without me. We’re a team. When I first started, I had no reason to believe that I could come back from the dead, and I did it on my own for a whole year before we met. This means the world to me. I’m a super hero.” I stand, staring down at Anna, determined not to relent. “You can’t order me to stop.”

            “Jasmine,” she sighs over the sizzling sound from her eyes. “Please.”

            I wrap my arms around her. “I’m glad you worry like this. It means a lot. I love you too. But this is what I do, and I want to be able to keep doing it with you.”

            “We’ll keep her safe, Anna,” Elsa adds. “I’m worried about her too, but she’s got that new armor, and I think she’s proven herself by now. She managed to make her way through Hel all on her own.”

            Anna pulls back, staring up at me, her expression hardening. “If you are so much as hurt, you’ll sit out until you’re healed. Including now. We’ll have our doctors look after you, and you’ll wait to go back on the street until you have their approval, and the same goes for every single injury from here on out.”

            “But –”

            “No buts. That’s it. If you want to keep doing this, that’s my rule, or you can’t work with us.”

            Elsa stares at her. “Anna –”

            “Okay,” I say. “It’s a deal. If that’s what it takes to make you feel better, then I’ll do it. I don’t want to worry you any more than I have to.”

            Relaxing, she throws her arms back around me, burying her face against me. “Thank you.”

            We collapse back into bed, and both Anna and Elsa hold me. Before I know it, I manage to fall asleep. Even without Skaldi here, it’s just so good to be home. And eventually, I have to believe that we’ll find a way to bring her back to me, but at least I can still talk to her through Elsa in the meantime. It’s kind of weird having my mom inside of my girlfriend, but it’s far from the weirdest thing I’ve gone through recently. I’ll take it.


	15. A Borealis Wedding

I have to admit, I honestly didn’t think that she’d be able to do it. Sure, Anna owns New York and its legislature, but I had no idea she owned it to quite this degree. Oh well, not like I’m complaining. Keeps me out of prison. I chuckle thinking about that. It would not go well for anyone there trying to lock up a god, and considering that we own half the police force, I’d probably just be killing my coworkers.

Since I’m sensible and don’t bother with makeup or dresses, I have some time to kill. My incredibly expensive tuxedo is already on and I look fantastic. I kind of want to adjust my bow-tie, but it’s already straight and fiddling with it would only mess it up. 

So, instead, I head out to the lobby of the hotel that is absolutely a front – there’s a reason Anna didn’t sign off on legalizing prostitution – and head to the open bar. “Hey, Uncle Pete,” I say, as I grab the seat next to him, and wave the bartender over for a Jack and Coke. 

“Ready for the big day?” he asks, beaming at me. 

I nod, letting a small smile show, rather than grinning ear-to-ear like I had been in the changing room. “I am. I can’t believe we didn’t think of this before. Then I’d only have to go through this once.”

“Please, you love having an excuse to wear a tuxedo.”

“Can you blame me though? I look amazing?”

Chuckling, he looks me up and down, and smiles approvingly. “It’s your last chance to change your mind and wear a dress.”

I shrug. “I tried it for a bit when I first transitioned, and it’s just not me.”

“Too much of a mobster?”

“Too hard to fight in.” I laugh into my drink as I take a sip. A little heavy on the alcohol. Just how I like it.

“If you think Anna couldn’t kill everyone in here in a ballgown then I think you’ve been smoking something.”

He has a point. “Of course she could, but she wouldn’t. That’s what I’m for, so I need to be ready for a fight.”

“You’re a Greek god. You’re always ready for a fight.”

“Stop putting holes in my reasoning!” I glare at my father-figure, doing my best to actually look angry.

He rests his hand on my shoulder. “All right, all right. I love your suits too. Plus that tailor you recommended is amazing.”

I give his pinstripe suit an appreciative glance. Marco really is the best. “Well, when Pop’s guy wasn’t willing to work with me, I had to find someone who could show him up. With petty revenge as a motive, I can accomplish anything.”

“That does sound like you. I’m glad he’s gone, Elsa.”

“I know. I am too. It still hurts a little. I did love him. But he was an absolute monster, in a far worse way than I could ever manage to be.”

“I may be a little biased, since he wanted to kill me, but I don’t think you’re anything like him, Elsa. You’re your own woman, despite what he always wanted for you, and you’ve done a lot with that.”

Staring at him incredulously, I drain the rest of my drink before asking, “So by carrying on his work I’m somehow not being like him?”

He snorts. “Well technically Anna’s the one continuing his work.”

“You’re welcome to tell her that.” I get the bartender’s attention and order a beer. “I’m sure she’ll take it amazingly,” I add, shaking my head.

“She’s not like him either. Sure, she’s gotten a lot harder than she used to be – she’s had to make some very difficult decisions – but she still actually cares. Sure, she makes sure that she lines her pocket and keeps the business going, but she’s done a lot to make life better for the people on the streets. With her running everything, any other crime is quickly handled – by our favorite super heroes if need be.” He winks at me. “And with control of the legislature, she’s ironically managed to remove a lot of corruption, and helped improve things for everyone.”

“Except those real estate tycoons she jailed.” I grin, stifling a laugh.

“I think that counts as an improvement.”

I say, “You know that she just wants to keep going. Hell, she might even make her own presidential run before too much longer.”

“It’d have to be twelve years.”

“If you honestly think that would stop her, then you’re the one who’s on crack.”

He sets his drink down, foam resting above his lips. “Hey, I never said crack.”

I roll my eyes. “I do worry about her. I don’t care that much about how it affects everyone else, but do you really think that all of this is good for her? I love my wife, and the new blood-thirsty her is crazy hot, and at least Jasmine has helped her lighten up a bit, but she’s still going against so many of her old morals. It wasn’t that long ago that she wanted us to quit and run off. You really don’t think that running a criminal empire is hurting her?” Plus it’s my fault, so I’d really rather not have all of this guilt.

He shakes his head, squeezing my shoulder. “She’s had to make a lot of compromises, but I think if she didn’t, she’d always know that she could have done this – that with someone else running things, it would all be so much worse. She’s hurt people, she’s had to, but that doesn’t change the good that she's able to do now. Plus, the three of you did save the world from that alien invasion over the summer, and that probably helps ease her conscience a bit.”

“The military would’ve wiped them out fine. They really weren’t that much of a threat.”

“Say that to all the soldiers who died before you showed up.”

Gritting me teeth, I stare back at the drink. I swear, it’s like people just won’t let me have my anxieties without telling me why they’re bullshit. “I just don’t want to have hurt her. I’m the one that made her the don, when she really didn’t want it, and when it’s changed her so much – plus everything Notos did to her – it really worries me. I try not to think about it, and I’m really happy with how things are now, but –”

“Elsa, stop it. This isn’t like you, and you know full-well that if Anna didn’t want this anymore, she’d stop it herself. I think you’re just looking for something to be worried about since you can’t worry about your wedding.”

“I could worry about my wedding if I wanted to.”

He chuckles. “No, you couldn’t. You’re already married to Anna, and the two of you are marrying the other love of your lives. I know you’re both scared for her, and that that’s part of what gave Anna the idea, but the three of you probably have centuries of happiness together, and you know it. So stop looking for something to stress over and just enjoy your big day.”

“Well, when you put it like that.” I raise my drink, and clink it against the one in his hand. “All right, fine, Anna’s okay, Jasmine’s probably okay –”

“The girl who doesn’t age and who’s dreamed of being a super hero her whole life and has a 3.9 GPA in her college? I think she’s fine.”

“She still lost Skaldi.”

“She talks to her every day, and you’re already working on a way to fix things. So just enjoy your big day.”

“Fine,” I mutter. “I guess I’ll be happy.”

Anna and Jasmine must have timed this, because they walk out together, and my jaw drops. Okay, I’m happy. Anna’s seafoam green gown billows down to her feet, clinging in just a few select areas that emphasize the impressive figure the tiny woman has. Jasmine’s red dress, with it’s high neck and shoulders, is a bit more demure, but I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anything look more beautiful on her. All of her scars that wouldn’t be covered by the dress are concealed with makeup, and her brown eyes shine all the fiercer contrasted by it, and her gaze takes my breath away. It’s a good thing I don’t need to breathe. 

“Wow,” I breathe.

“You’re not looking too bad yourself.” Anna tugs me off of the bar stool by my collar, pulling me down into a kiss.

The second I get a chance for air, Jasmine throws her arms around me and kisses me. Aren’t we supposed to save that for the wedding? 

When she pulls away, I can barely make out the scar by her left eye as they crinkle in joy. “I can’t believe we’re really doing this,” she squeals.

Anna pats her ass. “It’s happening. I had to pull quite a few strings to pull it off, but it’ll be official. You’re ours. You’re family.”

She nods, wiping at a tear. “I can’t cry, it’ll ruin my makeup.”

“Did you want to talk to Skaldi first?” I ask. I know she does. It’s the only way Skaldi can join her, unfortunately, but at least she’ll still be there. I’d suggested just letting Skaldi be on one of Anna’s employees so she could give Jasmine away, but she said it just wouldn’t feel the same. 

“May I? Please.”

“Of course. We still have plenty of time. The guests are still filing in.” Holy shit, is that Hera? I should talk to her later. 

She can barely contain her grin. “Okay!” she grabs me by the arm to lead me back in the direction of the dressing rooms. I guess she wants some privacy. Behind us, Anna has taken a seat next to Pete and appears to be ordering a drink. 

Once we’re safely cloistered away, I remove the bracer from my pocket and put it on my wrist. I just don’t like having her in my head all the time. “Hey, Skaldi.”

“Is she okay?”

_ Tell her I miss her.  _ “She is. She misses you.”

“I miss you too.” You two talk every single day. I swear, I handle being away from Anna better than this, and that only ever happens when I’m dead or being tortured.

“’So, today’s the big day. Are you sure you’re not having any doubts?’” There was no way to have these conversations that wasn’t awkward, especially when she’s insulting me, so I try to just relay what she says the best I can.

Jasmine nods, blinking away a few tears. “I’m sure. I love Elsa and Anna with all of my heart. I want to be their wife.”

“’That’s good to hear. I’m happy for you, Jasmine. And I’m so proud of you. I still think you could do better, but they’re far better for you than I’d expected. They do seem to actually make you happy.”

“You know they do, Skaldi.” Jasmine squeezes my hand. I’m not sure if she means it for me or Skaldi.

“’I do. Even if they are criminals.’” I resist chiming in. I don’t want to ruin their moment. “’I just wish I could be there for you. My wedding was a magical day, and I hate that I can’t share yours with you.’”

Here, I have to interject. “I’m not having your voice in my head when I’m marrying her. You make it so weird any time we kiss.”

She squeezes again, a sad expression in her eyes. “I know. I don’t want you to either, it’d be like having my mom possessing you or something.”

_ And yet she made me endure all of the times you all had sex. That was far more awkward for me.  _ Yeah, I’m not saying that. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It really would be weird. And besides, we’ve already found a lead. Before too much longer Skaldi can be her own person again, and maybe we can renew our vows then or something, just so she can be a part of it.”

“’I’d love that.’”

“Me too.” She throws her arms around me, hugging me tight, though this time, I’m pretty confident she’s hugging Skaldi. 

“We don’t want to mess up your makeup, right? Or get makeup and tears on my tux.”

Nodding, she pulls away and stares up into my eyes. “I love you.” 

“We both love you.”  _ Go have your wedding. I don’t want to keep her from it.  _ “Are you ready?”

Another nod. “I am. Let’s go get married.”

 

~o~

 

“Mrs. Arlotti,” the mayor says, bowing his head obsequiously as he approaches us at the front of the room. Of course, he means Anna. This could get confusing with Jasmine taking our name. “Are you ready for the service to begin?”

“We are. Thank you for doing this. I know how busy you’ve been.”

“Of course. It’s my pleasure.” Inclining his head again, he takes a step back, taking his spot behind us. We’re standing at the front of the room, with Jasmine in the middle, since she’s the one that really needs to do the marrying. He starts the whole spiel, even including the dearly beloved bit. I love my wife – my wives – but I can’t say I care too much for the pomp and ceremony, even when it’s a power play by Anna. And I say this as someone who loves her power plays. They’re very hot. “You have your own vows, that you wanted to read, correct?” he finishes.

“Me first!” Jasmine chirps, pulling a crumpled piece of paper from her pocket – her wedding dress has pockets? She smiles out into the audience, doubtless meeting her father’s gaze, maybe even Uncle Pete’s. I still can’t believe her dad came, he handled our relationship so much better than my father ever did. “Before I knew Elsa and Anna,” she clears her throat and wipes away a tear, “Before I knew them, I didn’t know who I was. My world was black and white, and I was a straight girl. Being with them has complicated things, and shaken up my whole world, and I wouldn’t trade it for the universe. Now, I know who I am, I know what I can do – how far I can go and what I’m capable of – and I know how much I love the two of them. Anna,” she turns to face her, “You are so strong and responsible, and caring. You keep me in track, and we have so much fun, and I love seeing you let your hair down and just enjoy yourself. Falling in love with you was as easy and natural as it was terrifying.

“And Elsa.” She meets my gaze, her brown eyes shining with tears of joy. “You made me realize so many things about myself. I still remember how scared and confused I was by the feelings I was starting to develop, and just how much they all came bubbling forth when you were gone. You’re my sidekick,” the playful expression only slightly reduces the spanking she’ll get for that, “the first real love of my life. No one makes me feel safer than you do. I want to spend eternity in your arms. I love the both of you more than I could have ever thought possible, and I’m just so happy that this day has finally come.” She wipes away more tears as she lets out a shuddering breath. 

Anna takes her hand, comforting our imminent-spouse. “You came into my life at a very dark time and provided a brightness that I desperately needed. You’ve reminded me of the woman that I once was, and despite all that I’ve changed, you’ve allowed me to keep that piece of me. I was skeptical of this strange girl that had followed my girlfriend home, when we first met, but as soon as you fell asleep in my arms, I knew that I never wanted to let you go. You complete our family, Jasmine, and I love you with all of my heart.” 

Staring down at her feet and doing the best to hide the blush shining through her makeup, Jasmine replies, “You’re not gonna say anything for Elsa?”

“We’re already married. I love her more than everything too, but we can just renew those vows when we renew yours.” I think she just didn’t want to repeat the vows from last time. Some of it definitely wasn’t fit for public hearing – more for crime than for kink, but some of that too. 

They both turn to me, as does the mayor of New York. Great. I hate public speaking. “Jasmine, you know how I feel. I haven’t been able to get rid of you since we met, and I don’t intend to ever find a way. You’ve softened me in ways that I’ve never been too willing to show. I love you, and I’d really prefer to just hurry up and be your wife.”

“Well then,” our officiant says, “Let’s not delay. I’ve known Elsa and Anna for a long time, and I’d never seen a love like that before, and I hadn't since, that is until I saw them with Jasmine. It is my humble pleasure to pronounce the three of you wife, wife, and wife. You may kiss the brides.”

He doesn’t have to tell us twice. We’re married, and I intend to not let a day pass without kissing both of them. Who says only good people get a happily ever after?


End file.
